Talk about being awkward (especially around girls)

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Lilium

Member
Alright so lately these past few days I've been really awkward with having conversations with girls. It's not moreover the conversation being awkward, it's just me feeling awkward and neverous about. I want to feel okay and confident when in such conversations, but the pressure has been building. Perhaps I have thought to much of it?

I also get really awkward and speechless when one or two girls compliment me ("oh you dress so nice", "you're adorable/cute") I just completely freeze and can't response effectively. I either say "thanks" or say nothing at all. This year (14 years old, freshman HS) is the most I have gotten in compliments, probably because of I'm more aware of my physical presentation, and now I have greatly improved my looks and sense of clothes.

I want to go for average/pretty girls. It isn't my fault. It's human nature for man to go after those of attraction and beauty. I just can't find myself in a relationship with a girl I don't find visually attractive, no matter how good her personality is. How do I appraoch a girl effectively? It's wierd to go up to girls randomly bringing up a convo. I have a fear of being dominated, which is half why I'm afraid of relationships. I'm afraid I won't be dominant. Also society pressured me deeply into wanting a girlfriend, but I'm completely in touch and understand. Guys must be in relationships to succeed as a male. I just wish girlss would INITIATE from time to time. You can't expect us to ask you all the time.

I also need tips onto broadening conversations. I usually just say hi or make really really small talk. What can I say something to have her interested and wanting to talk more?

Also I tried to talking to these other girls, having one of my decent conversations up in the air but it just seems they're not interested. I'm giving up on them and trying to go after current girls.
 
S

Silvox Black

Well-known member
Well, as for broadening conversation topics, there are a few I would recommend that should start something off. Perhaps you will find similar beliefs or at least some sort of topic to speak of if you ask them of their views on politics, religion, or as a very vague, vague possibility, perhaps philosophy? Pardon me if my suggestions are foolhardy as I myself have had very little experience in this field. Take them as you will.
 
TheStatue

TheStatue

Well-known member
Nothing compared to me in high school. I was completely obsessed by one girl for three years and kept secretly looking at her every opportunity I got. Never talked to her. Never talked to anyone. I'm sure she noticed and thought I was creepy as hell.
 
L

Lilium

Member
Alright so last week what I forgot update on was that I had a random casual encounter a bunch of senior girls lingering around the hallway. I left the cafe before next period because it got boring for me and I needed to clear my head. As I passed by them, looking to linger on whenever, they stopped and then we just started talking. They were a talky, social bunch, which is why they probably stopped me in the first place. They're were pretty well attractive and they were nice and friendly and not snobbish at all. Something like this for to happen really helps my SP.

In the meantime, I'm trying to get over this girl who I was previously infatuated with. We're friends but obviously I never wanted it to be like this. When I first met herI barely payed any attention to her. But then a year later when there was more interaction I fell for her through my own dissiliusions and needed lies I fed to myself. I think if, furing the ineraction, if I presented myself differently, should would find me attractively suittable to two years later, which is now. It's too late though. The past months I always thought she would go for me but I'm giving up for good. I try to not notice her or talk to her but whenever I want to ignore her she seems to find a way to have me give her attention! I try to resist.

Also if a girl always seems to say hi and smile at you almost everyday and they have even admitted that they find you attractive ( but think she only thinks you're cute and nothing else. That she doesn't find you relationshiply attractive or consider going with you) for like 2 times, what does it mean?
 
Elenwen

Elenwen

1
Lilium said:
Also if a girl always seems to say hi and smile at you almost everyday and they have even admitted that they find you attractive ( but think she only thinks you're cute and nothing else. That she doesn't find you relationshiply attractive or consider going with you) for like 2 times, what does it mean?
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That she wants to be your friend.
 
K

klytus

Well-known member
Lilium said:
In the meantime, I'm trying to get over this girl who I was previously infatuated with. We're friends but obviously I never wanted it to be like this. When I first met herI barely payed any attention to her. But then a year later when there was more interaction I fell for her through my own dissiliusions and needed lies I fed to myself. I think if, furing the ineraction, if I presented myself differently, should would find me attractively suittable to two years later, which is now. It's too late though. The past months I always thought she would go for me but I'm giving up for good. I try to not notice her or talk to her but whenever I want to ignore her she seems to find a way to have me give her attention! I try to resist.

Also if a girl always seems to say hi and smile at you almost everyday and they have even admitted that they find you attractive ( but think she only thinks you're cute and nothing else. That she doesn't find you relationshiply attractive or consider going with you) for like 2 times, what does it mean?
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Don't let her play with you. Many women enjoy the attention they get from a man, and they themselves give sufficient attention to make the man keep sticking to her. Of course, the men do so in the hope that one day their desires will be fulfilled. This is a one-way street. You are never going to get anything out of this. Women like that are teases and only make you feel worse in the end. Because you keep giving and giving, even if it's just your time and thought, and there's never going to be any kind of compensation. And she enjoys the attention along the way. Just put the kibosh on their bullcrap.
 
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combat

combat

Well-known member
klytus said:
Don't let her play with you. Many women enjoy the attention they get from a man, and they themselves give sufficient attention to make the man keep sticking to her. Of course, the men do so in the hope that one day their desires will be fulfilled. This is a one-way street. You are never going to get anything out of this. Women like that are teases and only make you feel worse in the end. Because you keep giving and giving, even if it's just your time and thought, and there's never going to be any kind of compensation. And she enjoys the attention along the way. Just put the kibosh on their bullcrap.
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+1. A realization I came to yesterday. Such a waste of time.
 
K

klytus

Well-known member
combat said:
+1. A realization I came to yesterday. Such a waste of time.
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Most of the time, yes. An actual relationship works like a charm - especially at the beginning. If you notice that you are putting lots of effort into it, and virtually nothing gets out of it, then it's her playing with you for her personal enjoyment. A woman doesn't do this on purpose, or by ill-will, though. Just stop participating in such thankless games, and nobody will be hurt. When you meet the woman who you shall get together with, it will usually be clear from the get-go, and without question.
 
combat

combat

Well-known member
klytus said:
Most of the time, yes. An actual relationship works like a charm - especially at the beginning. If you notice that you are putting lots of effort into it, and virtually nothing gets out of it, then it's her playing with you for her personal enjoyment. A woman doesn't do this on purpose, or by ill-will, though. Just stop participating in such thankless games, and nobody will be hurt. When you meet the woman who you shall get together with, it will usually be clear from the get-go, and without question.
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Yep. Starting now, zero attention for this one it shall be. Her loss anyway.
 
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