taking walks outside...

[no1]

sometimes I can do it. but usually, or "normally" or.. I shouldn't even say that. A majority of the time I just feel weird outside. Also a majority (relative) of the time I can take walks easily.

But I do have self image problems. Perhaps if I had a history of taking more walks outside I would feel more comfortable.

I guess the more exposure you have walking outside the more easier it will feel as time passes. But that is just a guess. I did notice though that after being outside the whole day because I was at school, it felt easier to walk the street.

I think it also depends on the environment as well. In a suburb there are a lot of times, big, open spaces where if someone is walking around they tend to be more noticeable, especially if there's not THAT many people walking around also. Like for example on a big street, or avenue. Whatever you wanna call those. Like the main streets. But I can kinda feel more comfortable walking around stores or so.

Maybe it just depends on whether I can blend in with the crowd. If I feel like all eyes will be on me, I think I will get a little nervous or self conscious. Maybe anyone would reguardless of who they were, because they may feel as if they were judged.

Today.. I was pacing back and forth though.. people looked at me like I was crazy. I had my hands clenched, as if I was cold. My back is pretty crooked also, and I'm sorta overweight. i'm also "usually" tired and hold a pain in my chest. Who wouldn't feel nervous with these conditions, if they felt they were being judged all the time by the way it looks?

my reactions may just be normal. If I may act like everything is as it should be then i feel more comfortable just walking out in the street.

sometimes putting my hands in my pockets, and just act like Im just laid back, make my walk slower like a stroll, look down maybe, makes me feel more comfortable. it also makes my back feel straighter when I put my hands in my pocket. when I have them outside my pockets I feel crooked.

sorry for the rambling, and apparent pointless topic.

 

[SickJoke]

What you can do is notice how you walk when you're in the comfort of your own home, when you're relaxed. You probably lean back, your shoulders are pushed back comfortably, your chin is up and your neck is relaxed. Also notice how you're breathing, probably nice smooth, comfortable deep breaths.

Now next time you're walking outside, remember how comfortable you felt walking in your home, and take on that same body language and breathing, and you might be surprised at how comfortable you feel outside. You might even think to yourself "hey, I'm feeling pretty good." I hope this helps, enjoy the outdoors.

 

[Moonie]

I don't really like walking around a neighborhood. I love to walk - but mainly at a track or nature walk/trail. I want to be away from cars and people in them. I like to walk where others are walking for fun.

I guess this stems back from people making comments and/or beeping sometimes when in the car. That always annoys me and makes me self-conscious. I remember there was a 3/4 mile walk from our North to South Campus at school. They have a bus shuttle, but a good number of students also liked to walk. And, sometimes guys would hoot and holler as they drove by.

 

[no12]

well.. if I can "zone out" my fear is greatly reduced. though I need to zone out. and I've been able to force "zoning out" but it's been hard to keep at it.

I read somewhere it can take A YEAR for positive thinking to become "ingrained", and you have to be increasingly persistent. Even then, 1 yr from now you are probably not going to be completely 100% different but at least closer to it, each year it might get better. That's if this is true anyway.

The thing about the cars whizzing by and people hollering yeah I feel that way too. I would fear especially.. men rolling down the window and screaming out "PUSSY!" or some other garbage, making fun of me, etc., and women of course agreeing with it. I think because it's happened to me before. Even people on bikes, youngsters, immature I guess, saying to me "you lookin for a fight?" I remember one saying that to me. I just looked at him and didn't answer. He left after that but I still felt bad about it.

And as to walking around my apartment, it's way too small to do any sort of walking, I just kinda skip around lol. I guess. I have to remember to watch closely how I walk when I feel like nobody is watching.

on fridays I would have more anxiety because I think people are judging me that Im taking a walk alone, with nothing better to do while others are out there getting laid and "doing God's Work". partying and shit.

 

[SickJoke]

recently, whenever I am out I "wrestle" with my thoughts.

I think I have been over-using a part of my brain and underusing another part... because I am actually feeling the self-consciousness and fear dissipate when I do this. It's hard to explain, but I think there is ways we can operate different parts of our brains... and I am starting to believe that we are simply letting this fear-area be where our consciousness is centered. I havectually begun to center my thoughts in more of a grounded, less fear-based area of the brain.

I took a walk and a drive today and this self-consciouss fear was greatly reduced. I know it doesn't make a whol lot of sense...but I am serious when I say we can exert our will and operate different parts of or brains and thoughts.

That is awesome that you've noticed this and you're making an effort to improve, you've reached conscious competence. There are four levels of competence, check it out:

1. Unconscious incompetence

This is when you're doing something wrong and you don't even notice it. This would be a person with social anxiety who doesn't even realize it.

2. Conscious incompetence

This is when you're doing something wrong and you notice it. This is progress from step 1, but you still don't know how to fix the problem. This would probably describe a lot of the people who recently found this forum and are looking for help.

3. Conscious competence

This is when you're making an effort to improve. You know what you have to do, and you're doing it. This is the level that I think you've reached. Nice! Keep drilling the concept into your brain until you reach level 4.

4. Unconscious competence
This is the final level. You know what to do and you don't even have to think about it anymore; it's automatic, it's subconscious. For a lot of people this might seem like an impossibility, but keep working and you will reach it.

 

[Sad-Kitten]

I took a long walk last week, it took a lot out of me but ultimately wasn't so bad, the road i walked doesn't have much traffic im gonna try and do this more regularly its about 30 minutes each way.

 

[no12]

if I aint got no place to go, I guess I feel weirder. like I dont have any place to go, and nothing to do.

it also makes me feel ashamed that I can't just chat up anyone who I come across. makes me feel like women will judge me because Im supposed to be Oh so intuned to my survival instinct that I should be able to chat up any female who crosses my path with ease.

also.. if I can feel like Im just a retarded person, or show like I am one.. I feel more comfortable as I've kinda got a reason to be the way I am. so I think people would just let me be.

 

[SickeningJoke]

if I aint got no place to go, I guess I feel weirder. like I dont have any place to go, and nothing to do.

You're taking a walk. You don't need to have something to do. You can walk just for the sake of walking. It's healthy and completely normal. Enjoy it, and feel good about yourself, because you're making the choice to be a healthy person.

it also makes me feel ashamed that I can't just chat up anyone who I come across. makes me feel like women will judge me because Im supposed to be Oh so intuned to my survival instinct that I should be able to chat up any female who crosses my path with ease.

Are you trying to exercise or socialize? If you're just exercising and you come across someone, it's simple, just smile or say hi if you make eye contact, and keep walking. If you're actually going out trying to meet people, that's okay too, just be friendly and don't expect too much.

When you're walking do you really think women are judging you thinking "Why didn't he chat with me? Isn't he in tuned with his survival instinct?!" No, that's just absurd. If they even noticed you for a second, they probably forgot about you a second later because they have other things on their mind. And why are you even thinking about what they think anyway? Just enjoy the walk. Keep it simple.

also.. if I can feel like Im just a retarded person, or show like I am one.. I feel more comfortable as I've kinda got a reason to be the way I am. so I think people would just let me be.

If you really want to act like you're a "retarded person," go for it, as long as you're enjoying yourself. It might be fun to act a little goofy

But you don't need an excuse to be the way you are. Don't apologize for who you are. That's a bullshit attitude and you don't deserve that. If you don't like the way you're feeling right now, you can make changes and improve. But do it for yourself, not for others. Stay strong and keep us posted.