Supportive/Understanding friends and family...?

[Liliford_]

So I was just wondering whether any number of you feel as if your family or/and friends understand your disorder, and support you fully?

I've found that my family, who knew of my disorders, essentionally from the start, did not understand it, and were in the general mindset that I was 'suffering' through choice and should just stop. Move on and start my life.
The limited amount of friends that I have, I told after I started coping and recovering my disorders, and they seem to be disinterested and unfazed by my three year suffering.

Its not that I'm wanting a pity party or over the top mothering, just a sympathetic ear/understanding. Do any of you feel the same?

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

I told my best friend and he was awesome about it-very supportive and understanding. If I told my dad, he would (besides profane insults) say to "get over it". "We all have our problems" etc. He would never understand nor have any sympathy. He would just see me as being weak.

 

[Liliford_]

Thats what annoys me. We can't just get over it, I feel like we've already been let down by our minds, something that we are meant to always rely, and to be told to just its a choice to be this way and to just stop, Its wrong.

Although you're lucky your friend was so supportive. I think with mine, she is suffering from her own demons (Body dysmorphia) and to try and understand someone elses problems would be an overload.

 

[itisgoingtobefine]

I think most of the time we just need encouragement as we try and improve. And yet most people 'think' they can just throw information at you, and somehow that will cure you.

 

[Liliford_]

Yeah, It's all good having facts and stastics thrown at you, but that doesn't necessarily warrent any improvement. I suppose it tough to understand without the knowledge of what we feel.

 

[aNOTfox]

Yeah, It's all good having facts and stastics thrown at you, but that doesn't necessarily warrent any improvement. I suppose it tough to understand without the knowledge of what we feel.

yes I agree, my family doesn't really understand my disorders but they let me get on with recovery myself. Arguments are caused otherwise. I get all the understanding I need from my best friend who has the same problems. We both know how it feels to have social anxiety and so can help eachother out.

 

[jaim38]

My dad understands me when I told him about the social anxiety, but my mom expects me to just "get over it" and "ignore what other people say about you". I told my friend about my problems and thankfully, she was understanding. She was the first friend I had opened up to about my problems.

 

[Liliford_]

I suppose the reason for the shrugged attitude towards any (mental) disorders is the lack of general knowledge and the taboo that surrounds it.

Its just a shame that there aren't more people willing to understand.

 

[OCDd]

yea same, my dad was pissed because i told him i dont want to do treatment cause it wont work, ive tried several to treat ocd with my doctors help and my dad is just mad cause i wont keep trying. i know for a fact, my ocd will not get better, but it also wont get worse, i can just know these things and he will just have to accept that. but he and my mom are frustrated and say its hard living with someone with ocd....i tell them they really dont have anything to complain about and its wayyyyyy harder to live with ocd not live with someone with ocd. sorry i kinda went of on my personal life. but anyways yea i do feel the same way though

 

[Xervello]

If you don't mind me asking, what does your social phobia entail? Do you not like being seen in public? Or fear being judged by what you say, what you do by others? Or something else entirely? Barring medication, I think most of us with social anxiety will have to live with it to some degree for the remainder of our lives. Perhaps meeting close, understanding friends or a romantic partner can help us venture out of our comfort zones little by little over time. Having a job, calling or defining sense of purpose might do the same, as well. Each person's dilemma is different.

As for myself, I don't have any offline friends. And only one family member. People make do with what they're given. I have. As you have. It sucks none of them quite gets where you're coming from yet. Because you're/our handicaps aren't visible, it's difficult for others to comprehend them. And if they don't care, it's easy to claim we're being silly. All I can say is maintain your network of family and friends the best you can. Rely on them as best they're able, and hopefully they'll come around. In the meantime, people in our situations need all the support we can get. It's yet another burden we bear, but we must be patient. Good luck to you. And welcome to SPW.

 

[ShadowCookie]

I can't say that my family have ever helped me with my social anxiety. Going to professionals has always been the source of help that has given me the confidence to do new things, and I'm not talking expensive therapists, either. Since high school, I have received help from people who work with young adults who are social-phobics, out of work etc., and it's always been those people who have persuaded me to do something new - people who understand how I feel. At times, my family can be really insensitive, and upsetting.