mart22n
Well-known member
Hi everyone! Summer's coming and I'd like to share some thoughts with you. Long post, don't read 
I've been more active at conquering my SA and admitting it to others lately. It's all a matter of small steps, to reprogram our brains towards the thinking "I'm not afraid of humiliation or people laughing at me, like I started to be when I was a child. I know what I'm doing and I'm fine minding my own business of conquering my fears, no matter what others are saying."
OK, so fun times of exposure self-therapy are ahead. I'm shaking already, which is good. I'm planning to:
1) This week: talk to at least 3 strangers every day. So far I've managed to talk to only about 1 or 2. I've admitted to them I've got SA. I know this sounds a bit stupid, but whatever, I'll find different opening lines and topics, or start with no certain topic at all (where are you coming from? What are you doing, etc.). I dare you do the same, believe me, the worst response I have received is "I don't want to talk to you". You can always come here and whine about the bad responses
2) A harder thing: disputing my thoughts by asking from others. E.g. I always get nervous when I'm left alone with a single person in a social situation. Puts pressure on me. OK, so I'm saying: "You know what, I'm always afraid to be left with a single person in the same room, I'm afraid he/she thinks I'm ridiculous. I'm saying this because I'm disputing my inadequate thoughts." Of course I'll try to do it in a casual manner.
3) I'm planning to report my progress to a friend (who is a social phobic), and to the psychologist I'm getting counselling from already.
Mindset: Instead of repeating myself: "I have social phobia", I've replaced it with "I love destroying my social fears!" So if anyone asks, why I'm acting weird sometimes (a la saying something outrageously weird, or singing in the public etc), I can just say "I'm destroying my social fears"
Another thought: I hope most of you people want to have a husband/wife and children in the future. So, instead of being ashamed to death to admit to them "I have had social phobia all my life" when they ask you what you did when you were young, you can say "Hey, I used to be really shy, but then I started to conquer my fears and irrational thoughts, and have since started to enjoy doing it!" (I guess it's a lifelong process anyway, but it's fun). Think about your life in 5 years...if the thought makes you sigh, then you already know you need to take action.
Remember: the worst in ANY social situation when ANYTHING happens to you (well, besides getting beaten etc), is that people think "OMG, he/she is a weirdo/nutcase etc. BUT, if you know your mission, destroying your social fears, acting a bit weird is one of your GOALS to get used to the feeling that people MAY think you're a total xyz.
Let's see what has happened at the end of the summer! I'll report about my actions weekly.
Love,
Martin
I've been more active at conquering my SA and admitting it to others lately. It's all a matter of small steps, to reprogram our brains towards the thinking "I'm not afraid of humiliation or people laughing at me, like I started to be when I was a child. I know what I'm doing and I'm fine minding my own business of conquering my fears, no matter what others are saying."
OK, so fun times of exposure self-therapy are ahead. I'm shaking already, which is good. I'm planning to:
1) This week: talk to at least 3 strangers every day. So far I've managed to talk to only about 1 or 2. I've admitted to them I've got SA. I know this sounds a bit stupid, but whatever, I'll find different opening lines and topics, or start with no certain topic at all (where are you coming from? What are you doing, etc.). I dare you do the same, believe me, the worst response I have received is "I don't want to talk to you". You can always come here and whine about the bad responses
2) A harder thing: disputing my thoughts by asking from others. E.g. I always get nervous when I'm left alone with a single person in a social situation. Puts pressure on me. OK, so I'm saying: "You know what, I'm always afraid to be left with a single person in the same room, I'm afraid he/she thinks I'm ridiculous. I'm saying this because I'm disputing my inadequate thoughts
." Of course I'll try to do it in a casual manner.3) I'm planning to report my progress to a friend (who is a social phobic), and to the psychologist I'm getting counselling from already.
Mindset: Instead of repeating myself: "I have social phobia", I've replaced it with "I love destroying my social fears!" So if anyone asks, why I'm acting weird sometimes (a la saying something outrageously weird, or singing in the public etc), I can just say "I'm destroying my social fears"
Another thought: I hope most of you people want to have a husband/wife and children in the future. So, instead of being ashamed to death to admit to them "I have had social phobia all my life" when they ask you what you did when you were young, you can say "Hey, I used to be really shy, but then I started to conquer my fears and irrational thoughts, and have since started to enjoy doing it!" (I guess it's a lifelong process anyway, but it's fun
). Think about your life in 5 years...if the thought makes you sigh, then you already know you need to take action.Remember: the worst in ANY social situation when ANYTHING happens to you (well, besides getting beaten etc), is that people think "OMG, he/she is a weirdo/nutcase etc. BUT, if you know your mission, destroying your social fears, acting a bit weird is one of your GOALS to get used to the feeling that people MAY think you're a total xyz.
Let's see what has happened at the end of the summer! I'll report about my actions weekly.
Love,
Martin
