Suicidal Thoughts.

[Necrucifer]

...What do I do if I keep having constant suicidal thoughts...my mom wont take me to the doctor and I been mentioning it for a good while...They just keep getting more realistic the more time goes...It started out little after I dropped out of school 5 years ago when everything went to hell.

I did not want to really talk about it but I cant stop thinking of it or ways to do something and I been holding back but they keep getting stronger and the more I **** up my life I just add more weight to it...I dont have money I have insurance...but I am scared of hospitals and it seems like a lose lose situation...

I was starting to get happier but more things went downhill past few hours...so I dont know what to do and no matter what I think I am just wanting to go...I dont know what else to say but any help please...

I want to just stop these stupid thoughts before I feel like I will do it anymore...I have tried before and failed but that was a few years ago...I guess you could say its good I am still here otherwise I'd be dead by now if it wasnt for that...It just the thoughts are getting stronger again and I dont wanna attempt anything again I just want it to go away...

 

[david p]

think of the pain it was cause others and try to focus on something you enjoy, think of happy occasions from the past, hang in there mate............ your not alone.

dave from scotland

 

[Necrucifer]

Thanks...I am trying but it just sucks...cant drive and hospitals to far to walk...I just want help...and how you doing...I wanna goto scottland someday haha....names Mike by the way...Take care Dave.

 

[Dead_on_Arrival]

Thanks...I am trying but it just sucks...cant drive and hospitals to far to walk...I just want help...and how you doing...I wanna goto scottland someday haha....names Mike by the way...Take care Dave.

The best thing you could do is go to the doctor and ask for a referal to see a therapist of some kind. I don't drive either but I ride to my appointments on my mountain bike, a 12 mile round trip. I have just completed my therapy and suicidal thoughts was one of the major factors in my life, and still is. However, I now have the tools taught to me by my therapist to overcome the thoughts when they start to take hold. There is no quick fix and I am still learning how to cope from day to day.
I found that the best thing for me was mindfulness meditation when my thoughts became unbearable.

These are the two that my therapist suggested.

Mindfulness Meditation (Part 1 of 2) Acceptance of Thoughts and Feelings - YouTube

Mindfulness Meditation (Part 2 of 2) Acceptance of Thoughts and Feelings - YouTube

 

[Necrucifer]

Thanks...I'll have to watch those....I dont have a bike...gave them to my ex's brother for junking since they were old...I used to walk 2 hours just to get to a store....haha...I'll watch them in a bit I may lay down its almost 10 am haha....havent slept yet :/

 

[Necrucifer]

...I downed a bunch of pills when I did it...I about bit the dust from over puking bodily fluids...and yea I understand what you mean...Its hard to talk about it...I dont know about therapist...they scare me to but I can try...

I got a child one or whatever but...yea he known me for year maybe go to him...Im trying...believe me even if I can have someone drive me...I never broke any bones yet...I must be lucky...I bet it would hurt though to haha...

 

[david p]

Thanks...I am trying but it just sucks...cant drive and hospitals to far to walk...I just want help...and how you doing...I wanna goto scottland someday haha....names Mike by the way...Take care Dave.

nice to meet you mike and always welcome in scotland, doing pretty **** myself (lol) but trying to focus on the good things in life, only starting to face up to my problems after years of self denial, might ask you for a few pointers on the way if you dont mind.

Fight on !

 

[Necrucifer]

nice to meet you mike and always welcome in scotland, doing pretty **** myself (lol) but trying to focus on the good things in life, only starting to face up to my problems after years of self denial, might ask you for a few pointers on the way if you dont mind.

Fight on !

lol...well thats good and also feel free to ask me anything if you think I can help...I feel a bit better this evening I just woke up and its 6 pm...those videos helped a bit though to thanks for those Dead On Arrival. I just hope today isnt as bad as yesterday for me..we'll see how it goes and if I can keep the thoughts out of my head this evening...fun haha...

 

[muxmux]

Why would you kill yourself? Have you ever stopped for a minute and think that, life is just ONE, u wil NEVER have a chance to do ANYTHING again.. so why kil yourself? Even if ur life is going downhill, just try to turn the table as hard as you can... you, me, and everyone else will die one day, so why not try to get things fixed? Lifes is too precious and too short to be spent thinking of suicide.

And who knows what might happen to you tomorrow? Life has some twisted turns, and some of em are good.


Edit: Personally, i keep going day after day to see what life throws at me.

 

[Necrucifer]

Thanks muxmux, Yes I have thought about it plenty but there is a point where it just dont matter no more...Life is short and precious to waste but sometimes I would be happier dead so that I would not have to suffer no more even though yes my family would suffer and thats one reason why I have not attempted again for the most part...

Friend wanted me to go over with him to his girlfriends today but I did not feel up for it but told him tomorrow morning we can go out and do whatever since he has errands and stuff to do...I just want to get rid of the thoughts I wont lie but sometimes they are inviting as they are dreadful in times and I just want them to go away...