Suggestion

[kyle]

People who have been victims of bullying should study techniques on dealing with difficult people. My occupation makes it necessary to deal with these people, and I am currently studying how to deal with people with sociopathic tendencies.

One thing to do is don;t act like a victim. Make eye contact, have good posture, and make your presence known. Bullies will often look for signs of weakness. Don;t be afraid to be loud and assertive.

 

[mikebird]

I love your thread!!

I have to get my balance right on this! One thing: never been bullied at school. This is what I think, but I might be wrong! Perhaps a classic of an SA person to avoid / hide / ignore such an issue from. I really don't remember. It could have been very slight or non-existent. Three different schools in 1980s and 1990s

I have an urge to stand up for myself, and I will risk my own body to get wrangled / riled / furious if that's what it takes. My serious root of bullying is in being fired at every job I have ever done, taking me determinedly to the next, next, next.

I feel a need to curb my anger. I know it's not fruitful to act the way I've wanted to, with deep passion to scream at the person who's fired me. No violence. JUST a simple REASON: "was it my technical or personal anxiety?" I remember one south african boss, Leon, said I wasn't good enough. He made me walk around the very small office and say a friendly "goodbye" to all the staff, after coming downstairs from a meeting with Leon and his Boss, David. I went out of the door with Leon and assertively wanted the reason. He said "it wasn't personal, Mike" This has happened for years before and afterwards... Everyone always says what they think I want to hear, lying. I immediately found a much better job after that within a week, in London.

The most bullying I can conceive is Recruiters by refusing my job application on any outworldly meaningless reason to ignore / reject me from the first moment. Probably based on their godly logic that my name is Mike.

It's an ongoing war. I need fathoms of luck to be in front interviewers. I behave perfectly, prim & proper, friendly, and all the magic recruiter / interview buzzwords of neat & smart, interested, keen, smiling. A swelling of sweat, nerves and shakes always starts very early in a meeting.

 

[laure15]

One thing to do is don;t act like a victim. Make eye contact, have good posture, and make your presence known. Bullies will often look for signs of weakness. Don;t be afraid to be loud and assertive.

It's easier said than done. Especially when the bully is in a group but I'm all alone. But I imagine bullies will probably not pick on me if I were in a group.

 

[sullyS25]

I love your thread on how to work to change and grow with social anxiety. It is so much better than playing the victim. Thank you

 

[kyle]

I love your thread on how to work to change and grow with social anxiety. It is so much better than playing the victim. Thank you

You're welcome.

This thread was meant as a response to all the threads about suicide, giving up, or just negative thinking in general. We only have one life to lead. Why would anyone not want to improve, and make yourself a better person? It's much better than not trying, and resigning yourself to a life of misery and loneliness.