success and improvements

[chibiXphantom]

over the years people have told me i'm not good with conversation, get frustrated with me for short answers, not asking them questions, etc.

i've really been working on my conversation skills through reading books, reading online tips, the help of a friend, and just practicing when i can.

for the first time in my life i've actually had someone say to me, "You know, it's nice to talk to someone who actually knows how to hold a conversation for once."

that was like three days ago, and i still feel proud of myself lol

i've been kind of looking at it as a game. they say something, you pick up on things they mentioned and form a question around it. dig deeper. it's easier to keep the conversation off of yourself and talk less if you just keep asking them things and get them talking about themselves. they'll think you're a good conversationalist when you've barely said much lol.

 

[slimjim119]

That's great to hear. Keep the confidence level up. Practice makes perfect. :thumbup:

 

[Sacrament]

It's strange how 'easy' it actually is, and how hard our response to anxiety makes it appear. Good job!

 

[DanielLewis]

That's good. Yeah, I think about it the same way. They give you information, and you pick up on that information to ask another question, or to make a statement about it. Just be careful with asking too many questions. You don't want to come off like an interviewer or as robotic.

You also want to actually enjoy interactions. Have fun. That's hard to do when you're inside your head too much and too focused on "What do I say next?" or "How do I keep the conversation going?" Part of you just needs to let it all go and say whatever comes to mind.

Maybe, since you're building up your conversational skills, it's okay to be in your head more and thinking of how to continue conversations. Then, once you become good enough, you won't have to think much about it anymore. It will become second-nature.

 

[vj288]

That's great, it's always great to hear people improving at things :thumbup:

 

[chibiXphantom]

That's good. Yeah, I think about it the same way. They give you information, and you pick up on that information to ask another question, or to make a statement about it. Just be careful with asking too many questions. You don't want to come off like an interviewer or as robotic.

You also want to actually enjoy interactions. Have fun. That's hard to do when you're inside your head too much and too focused on "What do I say next?" or "How do I keep the conversation going?" Part of you just needs to let it all go and say whatever comes to mind.

Maybe, since you're building up your conversational skills, it's okay to be in your head more and thinking of how to continue conversations. Then, once you become good enough, you won't have to think much about it anymore. It will become second-nature.

i try to balance asking questions with giving personal input, or relating to what they said like, "oh yeah, that happened to me before when ..."