LoneWarrior
Member
Hi
I don't know why i am writing this but i need to get it out some way.If this is long please forgive me ...
I'm sick of continuing day by day for no reason at all ,I wake up in a morning joyful that the lord has given me another day to live but gradually over the space of 2 hours or so im as depressed as i was the night before at 3am before i fell asleep .
I do what i need to do ( take my dog out , tidy up etc) and then i am greeted with boredom , depression ,loneliness and anger . I stay in this mood throughout the day until early morning when my body gives in and needs to sleep .
( repeat the process over and over and you might have what i would say is a pretty clear picture of my current lifestyle.
, I basically grew up around arguing parents as a shy boy and only ever had a handful of friends (3 max) at school .I got diagnosed with sad at 16 years old and started medication for anxiety and depression . I then left school and went to college ( only because my best friend was at the time , i felt like it was easy-er than not doing anything ) dropped out of college at 18 due to anxiety and ever since have been doing nothing but live this repetitive rut of an excuse of a life i would call an existence .
to this day i still have not had many friends I have literally 2 friends currently which i wouldn't even class as friends because i don't feel i know them good enough any-more because i dont see them due to f**king anxiety , Ive never gone anywhere , ate in a restaurant , drank in a pub , etc because of anxiety
Only had one long-term proper relationship that ended due to anxiety .
Im 24 now and i thought when i was 20 with no gf that life could not possibly get any worse . I can now for definitely say it just has . I ve had enough .I know everyone's got their issues but the way i see it i don't think there is any point living because what the hell have i got now? nothing .I feel trapped and isolated and controlled by my mental state i dont like living anymore and i dont see how a counsellor can help ? how can i possibly get anywhere in life when i dont know anyone? I just give up its a joke .....
Lw
I don't know why i am writing this but i need to get it out some way.If this is long please forgive me ...
I'm sick of continuing day by day for no reason at all ,I wake up in a morning joyful that the lord has given me another day to live but gradually over the space of 2 hours or so im as depressed as i was the night before at 3am before i fell asleep .
I do what i need to do ( take my dog out , tidy up etc) and then i am greeted with boredom , depression ,loneliness and anger . I stay in this mood throughout the day until early morning when my body gives in and needs to sleep .
( repeat the process over and over and you might have what i would say is a pretty clear picture of my current lifestyle.
, I basically grew up around arguing parents as a shy boy and only ever had a handful of friends (3 max) at school .I got diagnosed with sad at 16 years old and started medication for anxiety and depression . I then left school and went to college ( only because my best friend was at the time , i felt like it was easy-er than not doing anything ) dropped out of college at 18 due to anxiety and ever since have been doing nothing but live this repetitive rut of an excuse of a life i would call an existence .
to this day i still have not had many friends I have literally 2 friends currently which i wouldn't even class as friends because i don't feel i know them good enough any-more because i dont see them due to f**king anxiety , Ive never gone anywhere , ate in a restaurant , drank in a pub , etc because of anxiety
Only had one long-term proper relationship that ended due to anxiety .
Im 24 now and i thought when i was 20 with no gf that life could not possibly get any worse . I can now for definitely say it just has . I ve had enough .I know everyone's got their issues but the way i see it i don't think there is any point living because what the hell have i got now? nothing .I feel trapped and isolated and controlled by my mental state i dont like living anymore and i dont see how a counsellor can help ? how can i possibly get anywhere in life when i dont know anyone? I just give up its a joke .....
Lw
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