Stuck in a situation with an ex

[Razzlecherry]

Just a little background: About 10 months ago I started this relationship with this girl who I really liked. She was my first "real" girlfriend that I put a lot of my heart into. Now the relationship only lasted for a month, mainly because I was committed and she wasn't. Now obviously I might have expected a bit much, but that can be understandable considering my lack of experience. I've accepted this and decided that I'll use this as a learning experience for future relationships. I don't expect anything more from this person and essentially wrote her out of my life.

Now the problem that arises here is that this girl also happens to be the best friend of my brother. I'm not very close to my brother and we don't really talk, but she was always around and was essentially a family friend. She started showing a lot of interest in me and I went for it.

But now, she has been showing her face around my home. This has made it extremely uncomfortable and awkward for me.

My question is, is it right for me to not want her in the house (or at least when I'm here) considering she is a very close friend of my brother? Am I being unreasonable and should I just deal with the situation I really exacted on myself?

I ask this because a lot of problems have been coming up and I'm wondering if I really am in the wrong here.

 

[jc972]

Just a little background: About 10 months ago I started this relationship with this girl who I really liked. She was my first "real" girlfriend that I put a lot of my heart into. Now the relationship only lasted for a month, mainly because I was committed and she wasn't. Now obviously I might have expected a bit much, but that can be understandable considering my lack of experience. I've accepted this and decided that I'll use this as a learning experience for future relationships. I don't expect anything more from this person and essentially wrote her out of my life.

Now the problem that arises here is that this girl also happens to be the best friend of my brother. I'm not very close to my brother and we don't really talk, but she was always around and was essentially a family friend. She started showing a lot of interest in me and I went for it.

But now, she has been showing her face around my home. This has made it extremely uncomfortable and awkward for me.

My question is, is it right for me to not want her in the house (or at least when I'm here) considering she is a very close friend of my brother? Am I being unreasonable and should I just deal with the situation I really exacted on myself?

I ask this because a lot of problems have been coming up and I'm wondering if I really am in the wrong here.

If she was friends with him before your thing with her then I'd say no, it ain't right for you to not want her in your house. I see where the awkwardness would be but I think it is just a bit unreasonable.

 

[Razzlecherry]

If she was friends with him before your thing with her then I'd say no, it ain't right for you to not want her in your house. I see where the awkwardness would be but I think it is just a bit unreasonable.

Yeah, that makes sense to me. It's just really hard for me and have never found myself in this kind of situation before. It was really unwise for me to give this relationship a go.

I've already caused a bit of a stir and will hopefully be able to fix things.

Interested in more opinions/advice on this.

 

[Silatuyok]

I agree, you kind of brought this situation upon yourself, so it's really not fair of you to turn around now and say that you don't want her hanging around. I'd say deal with it as nobly as you can, be cordial, and learn from your mistake. Maybe a big deal of it might just end up making you look childish.

 

[FountainandFairfax]

You have social phobia, so isn’t your home like your last refuge in the first place? What are you going to do, be relegated to an even smaller part of it when she’s over? Didn’t she know you had problems with shyness and that you were inexperienced with girls? She definitely shares half the load here. I think she should respect your boundaries and give you some time to get over things. Having to feel awkward in your own place is just plain crap.