Stressed and depressed!

[Boby]

Right now i'm in bed and i can't sleep,i'm writting this from my crapy phone so i'm sorry for any grammer mistakes.So why can't i sleep?Well i'm really stressed and i'm getting really depressed(like i wana kill myself depressed).I just had a discusion with my parents right before going to bed about my school situation ,which is horrible but i didn't told them that,i just told them that my situation is not the best and they just freaked out. So how horrible is my school situation?Well it's very very bad, it's humanly impossible to finish my university in time(this year).So if my parents reaction was that bad when i told them that i have only minor problems i don't wana see their reaction when they will find out i will not be able to finish my studies.I wish i could just tell them the truth but i'm sure their reaction will not help in any way it will only do more damage. The thing is that is not such a big deal if i don't finish my studies this year,if i retry next year i'm 100% sure i can finish even if i will have a fulltime job on the side but my parents dont understand this for them not fnishing this year it's like the biggest failure ever.I don't really know what to do right now,if i tell them they will go mad and i'm pretty sure it will be the end of my career perm. they will stop helping me and even if i will have a fulltime job i will not be able to finish my studies and if i don't tell them ...well they will find out eventualy.So to put it more blunt i am willing to admit my mistakes and promise i will be better but my parent's are not willing to give me a second chance ....so it's the end for my career .... a life time of working at mcdonald awaits me.I don't see any way out of this so the only things that came to my mind now is run from home or kill myself.

 

[AsTimeBurns]

Why can't you finish this year? Can you not explain to them that you can finish it next year? How do you know they won't continue to help you - assuming or have they said so?

 

[Boby]

Why can't you finish this year? Can you not explain to them that you can finish it next year? How do you know they won't continue to help you - assuming or have they said so?

I'm way behind with my studies ...i have to study more than a year worth of courses in less than month.They always told me that the second i finish university i'm on my own...it doesnt seems to bad for you but in my country where minimal wage is 200 euros is pretty bad being on your own like this.

 

[coyote]

Right now i'm in bed and i can't sleep,i'm writting this from my crapy phone so i'm sorry for any grammer mistakes.So why can't i sleep?Well i'm really stressed and i'm getting really depressed(like i wana kill myself depressed).I just had a discusion with my parents right before going to bed about my school situation ,which is horrible but i didn't told them that,i just told them that my situation is not the best and they just freaked out. So how horrible is my school situation?Well it's very very bad, it's humanly impossible to finish my university in time(this year).So if my parents reaction was that bad when i told them that i have only minor problems i don't wana see their reaction when they will find out i will not be able to finish my studies.I wish i could just tell them the truth but i'm sure their reaction will not help in any way it will only do more damage. The thing is that is not such a big deal if i don't finish my studies this year,if i retry next year i'm 100% sure i can finish even if i will have a fulltime job on the side but my parents dont understand this for them not fnishing this year it's like the biggest failure ever.I don't really know what to do right now,if i tell them they will go mad and i'm pretty sure it will be the end of my career perm. they will stop helping me and even if i will have a fulltime job i will not be able to finish my studies and if i don't tell them ...well they will find out eventualy.So to put it more blunt i am willing to admit my mistakes and promise i will be better but my parent's are not willing to give me a second chance ....so it's the end for my career .... a life time of working at mcdonald awaits me.I don't see any way out of this so the only things that came to my mind now is run from home or kill myself.

it doesn't have to be so black and white

yeah, your parents may freak out at first - but then you all have to sit down and talk about it like grown up and figure out how to make it work out

and just because you don't finish this year or next year doesn't mean you have to work at McDonald's the rest of your life

so what? you spend an extra couple, two, three, years right now getting to where you want to be - that's nothing compared to the next 60 years of your life after that

it'll be okay - just stick to your plans - don't worry so much about the timeline

 

[A86]

hmmm. sounds like in stead of supporting you emotionally to achieve your goals and happiness in life, they make you feel guilty for not meeting their expectations.
that's a bit mean to make you feel that way, blows you're self confidence, making you feel inadequate or a failure, and keeping you up at night.


I understand also parents invest a lot of time and effort in their kids (usually) and its only natural they want to see them succeed. however, I think too much of this type of "guilt trip" methodology to drive that success can have the opposite effect.

 

[Srijita52]

I agree with coyote, they might freak out at first but maybe eventually they'll understand. Maybe you can tell them what you've posted here that you're really willing to do better and it can be a lot easier if they don't put so much pressure on you. They might get pretty irrational though but try to be as calm as possible. Try not to let them get to you too much. Its easier said than done of course. I really don't know what to say, I hope your parents realise their mistakes and become more supportive.

 

[EscapeArtist]

Right now i'm in bed and i can't sleep,i'm writting this from my crapy phone so i'm sorry for any grammer mistakes.So why can't i sleep?Well i'm really stressed and i'm getting really depressed(like i wana kill myself depressed).I just had a discusion with my parents right before going to bed about my school situation ,which is horrible but i didn't told them that,i just told them that my situation is not the best and they just freaked out. So how horrible is my school situation?Well it's very very bad, it's humanly impossible to finish my university in time(this year).So if my parents reaction was that bad when i told them that i have only minor problems i don't wana see their reaction when they will find out i will not be able to finish my studies.I wish i could just tell them the truth but i'm sure their reaction will not help in any way it will only do more damage. The thing is that is not such a big deal if i don't finish my studies this year,if i retry next year i'm 100% sure i can finish even if i will have a fulltime job on the side but my parents dont understand this for them not fnishing this year it's like the biggest failure ever.I don't really know what to do right now,if i tell them they will go mad and i'm pretty sure it will be the end of my career perm. they will stop helping me and even if i will have a fulltime job i will not be able to finish my studies and if i don't tell them ...well they will find out eventualy.So to put it more blunt i am willing to admit my mistakes and promise i will be better but my parent's are not willing to give me a second chance ....so it's the end for my career .... a life time of working at mcdonald awaits me.I don't see any way out of this so the only things that came to my mind now is run from home or kill myself.

oh god... Sometimes parents don't know how to properly guide and support their children. At this moment I feel like it's important for a lot of positive self talk and healthy activities to build you up and at the same time separate yourself from your parents' words. In no way is it helpful if they assume that this is a failure. The more you listen to them, the more you will feel it is true that you cannot ever pass. Distance yourself, or talk to them if you think you can reassure them that you are dedicated. Sometimes it helps to build up another parent in your head, talk to yourself nicely and practice replacing their guidance with your own reassurance. If you are sure you can pass next year, I believe that is true

 

[MikeyC]

Talking to your parents about the situation is the best. If you don't, you're delaying the inevitable. It's not the all-or-nothing play, either. You will bounce back - it'll just take longer.

 

[Boby]

@Coyote,Srijita and Mikey

Yes,talking to my parents it should be the best option but I don't think I can do it,my parents are very stubborn,they change their mind very very hard and they never admit their mistakes so there is no to little room for reasoning with them.::

 

[Boby]

hmmm. sounds like in stead of supporting you emotionally to achieve your goals and happiness in life, they make you feel guilty for not meeting their expectations.
that's a bit mean to make you feel that way, blows you're self confidence, making you feel inadequate or a failure, and keeping you up at night.


I understand also parents invest a lot of time and effort in their kids (usually) and its only natural they want to see them succeed. however, I think too much of this type of "guilt trip" methodology to drive that success can have the opposite effect.

Emotional support is an alien concept to me.I do admit that there must be a balance between emotionally supporting your kids and pushing them into life but my parents just exaggerated with the last one.Also on top of all that they do not trust me at all ...not even 1%...I think they trust more an stranger from the street ...and no I'm not exaggerating.