Strange mood swings

OCDd

Well-known member
I have these weird mood swings, when im around my friends usually im fine but when ill just be walking and someone walks into me i get really pissed. i geuss it may have something to do that i have mild social anxiety and i dont like standing out in front of people so i get mad at them when something like that happens. But i just get pissed and want to kill them or just strangle them but i never do for multiple reasons but then i get extra pissed because i hate mood swings and i hate that im having one so it contributes to them. idk its weird. but also if something i did that im not proud of and am mad that i was stupid enough to try even just a few times, it will pop into my head and i just get super mad. like getting high, ive only done it a few times, idk why it was extremely stupid (as im sure most of you can relate life is hard with various mental illness and i wanted to take a break from it and numb the pain) but it did not numb anything and made it a lot worse and made me more pissed about how stupid i was. then i will usually go into an anxiety attack and just get pissed about it too. i just get mad and worry if i killed a bunch of brain cells even though i only did it like 6 times, i worry that i killed so many that i will start forgetting stuff and become really stupid and not make it through high school and stuff. and the fact that i hate people who use drugs to numb things pisses me off and then i get pissed even more because i am just so ashamed of what i did and then i get even more pissed about how im being a hypocrite. and i just cant let anger out anymore sooooo....it just keeps sitting in me and its bottled up and i get mood swings and i want to cry and be really mad when no ones home, but i just cant let my emotions out. also i cant really let any emotion out and it hurts, its like a physical pain in my stomach from not letting things out and it feels like i have to throw up and its nauseating. please post any comments or help or sugg.estions, thanks for reading this and God Bless you
 

FollowMe

Active member
I have these weird mood swings, when im around my friends usually im fine but when ill just be walking and someone walks into me i get really pissed. i geuss it may have something to do that i have mild social anxiety and i dont like standing out in front of people so i get mad at them when something like that happens. But i just get pissed and want to kill them or just strangle them but i never do for multiple reasons but then i get extra pissed because i hate mood swings and i hate that im having one so it contributes to them. idk its weird. but also if something i did that im not proud of and am mad that i was stupid enough to try even just a few times, it will pop into my head and i just get super mad. like getting high, ive only done it a few times, idk why it was extremely stupid (as im sure most of you can relate life is hard with various mental illness and i wanted to take a break from it and numb the pain) but it did not numb anything and made it a lot worse and made me more pissed about how stupid i was. then i will usually go into an anxiety attack and just get pissed about it too. i just get mad and worry if i killed a bunch of brain cells even though i only did it like 6 times, i worry that i killed so many that i will start forgetting stuff and become really stupid and not make it through high school and stuff. and the fact that i hate people who use drugs to numb things pisses me off and then i get pissed even more because i am just so ashamed of what i did and then i get even more pissed about how im being a hypocrite. and i just cant let anger out anymore sooooo....it just keeps sitting in me and its bottled up and i get mood swings and i want to cry and be really mad when no ones home, but i just cant let my emotions out. also i cant really let any emotion out and it hurts, its like a physical pain in my stomach from not letting things out and it feels like i have to throw up and its nauseating. please post any comments or help or sugg.estions, thanks for reading this and God Bless you
I put in bold much of the anger that you put into this post; whether you are completely aware of the degree of your anger is another story. I also italicized and underlined certain words and phrases that caught my attention. So let's begin...

As I have mentioned, you are angry. You are somewhat aware of your anger but you are most likely not completely aware. As this is a social anxiety forum and as hinted in your post, you are probably very insecure. I am willing to guess that you are so insecure that you are even insecure about your level of insecurity... It is possible, I'd even venture to say probable that these two feelings, insecurity and anger, are connected. You mentioned in your post that you are "ashamed of what you did" in reference to getting high. You have no reason to worry about losing brain cells and you have no reason to be ashamed of getting high. It is indeed a gateway drug, but it is not a physically harmful drug. Yes, it can be mentally harmful if you are a weak-minded person, but it is not physically harmful. Nevertheless, I imagine that the shame you feel goes deeper than being ashamed of getting high. Perhaps there are certain events in your life that you are ashamed of and if so, I am sure that the ones that might be causing your problems have been repressed from much younger years.

You get pissed at people when they walk into you. Think about this from a biological standpoint... That is most likely a territorial defense mechanism, which is probably somewhat connected to your insecurities. You are insecure and see everyone as a threat to your being.

As to being pissed at yourself for being a hypocrite. Everyone is a hypocrite at one point or another. Being a hypocrite can also be a sign of mental growth; you are changing your views on life. This is nothing to be ashamed of and it is nothing to be embarrassed or pissed off about.

Let me tell you that the human brain processes patterns constantly, and so, we tend to obsess over the same thoughts. The key to your problem is to break this pattern. You will notice from now on that when you think of a negative thought that it will lead you down a path of connected negative thoughts. You will begin to realize that this happens over and over and over and over again and has been happening your whole life. This is the first step. I implore you to write down or type up these patterns so that you can see where you mind goes. Even when you have a happy thoughts, I am sure that they are abruptly ended by sad thoughts. Write down these patterns too. It is only when you recognize your negative thought processes that you will be able to destroy them. After all, how are you supposed to become happier if you cannot fully recognize your deterrents. Break this pattern and save your mental health. You have to start to gain confidence in yourself and in turn, you will feel worthy of this world and you will be able to live a life that is enjoyable rather than a life that is filled with self-made, imaginary obstacles.

Please, feel free to respond. If you feel that this runs too personal for you to share, you can seek me out privately. I have been down the same path.
 
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jaim38

Well-known member
You're not alone. I also feel this way sometimes. I get angry for very little things or for remembering past memories and I beat myself for it. You did a great job letting your feelings out in this post, I bet you feel better now. It's not too late to change your habits. If you feel bad about doing something, make sure you don't do it again. Try setting some goals, or new year's resolutions, and try to fulfill them.

Sometimes I feel like a hypocrite too. I believe in something but I do the opposite, and I feel ashamed. So I try to align my actions with my views.
 

this_portrait

Well-known member
Getting angry and then getting upset because of it, leading to more anger, is definitely something I can relate to. I did that almost two weeks ago because I was lost and it was cold out and I was one of the few pedestrians among a bunch of drivers out shopping for Christmas. I overreacted and bordered on taking my anger out on a couple of people at the place I was going to. Naturally I felt like an ******* afterwards.

Mood swings are never fun. :/
 

yesman

Well-known member
Oh boy. I used to have little mood swings too. Sometimes I would be perfectly happy, and then a second later my obsessions would start messing with my mind, and I'd be throwing things and screaming at people.
 

OCDd

Well-known member
I put in bold much of the anger that you put into this post; whether you are completely aware of the degree of your anger is another story. I also italicized and underlined certain words and phrases that caught my attention. So let's begin...

As I have mentioned, you are angry. You are somewhat aware of your anger but you are most likely not completely aware. As this is a social anxiety forum and as hinted in your post, you are probably very insecure. I am willing to guess that you are so insecure that you are even insecure about your level of insecurity... It is possible, I'd even venture to say probable that these two feelings, insecurity and anger, are connected. You mentioned in your post that you are "ashamed of what you did" in reference to getting high. You have no reason to worry about losing brain cells and you have no reason to be ashamed of getting high. It is indeed a gateway drug, but it is not a physically harmful drug. Yes, it can be mentally harmful if you are a weak-minded person, but it is not physically harmful. Nevertheless, I imagine that the shame you feel goes deeper than being ashamed of getting high. Perhaps there are certain events in your life that you are ashamed of and if so, I am sure that the ones that might be causing your problems have been repressed from much younger years.

You get pissed at people when they walk into you. Think about this from a biological standpoint... That is most likely a territorial defense mechanism, which is probably somewhat connected to your insecurities. You are insecure and see everyone as a threat to your being.

As to being pissed at yourself for being a hypocrite. Everyone is a hypocrite at one point or another. Being a hypocrite can also be a sign of mental growth; you are changing your views on life. This is nothing to be ashamed of and it is nothing to be embarrassed or pissed off about.

Let me tell you that the human brain processes patterns constantly, and so, we tend to obsess over the same thoughts. The key to your problem is to break this pattern. You will notice from now on that when you think of a negative thought that it will lead you down a path of connected negative thoughts. You will begin to realize that this happens over and over and over and over again and has been happening your whole life. This is the first step. I implore you to write down or type up these patterns so that you can see where you mind goes. Even when you have a happy thoughts, I am sure that they are abruptly ended by sad thoughts. Write down these patterns too. It is only when you recognize your negative thought processes that you will be able to destroy them. After all, how are you supposed to become happier if you cannot fully recognize your deterrents. Break this pattern and save your mental health. You have to start to gain confidence in yourself and in turn, you will feel worthy of this world and you will be able to live a life that is enjoyable rather than a life that is filled with self-made, imaginary obstacles.

Please, feel free to respond. If you feel that this runs too personal for you to share, you can seek me out privately. I have been down the same path.
wow thanks, this was really, really helpful and it makes me feel better that someone would actually take the time to do something like this for me. few have ever done something like this for me, thank you very much :) i will try to keep in touch with you
 

FollowMe

Active member
wow thanks, this was really, really helpful and it makes me feel better that someone would actually take the time to do something like this for me. few have ever done something like this for me, thank you very much :) i will try to keep in touch with you
Yeah, anytime. I enjoyed applying my experiences with OCD to your experiences with OCD, and in that respect, I could talk about it forever. It's nice to know that you feel my response helped you, that's a very nice feeling from my point of view. People are willing to help (more than you'd think). Keep working on your OCD, one thought at a time!
 
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