Falkor
1
hey,
so.. my mom just asked me if i want to get something from the store, I know if i wont, she will get mad or frustrated and tell me I dont want anything.
She always does that, when I say I can't do it. She says i should just do it and dont care about what people think, i remember another time saying no.. sorry.. andn she said omg.. why arent you going.. just go.. and she called me lazy.. argh ..
But now is the prob, i'm sick again of the thought.. being in the store.. getting stuff, and facing other people and paying at the cashier.. argh.. and cycling through that busy road.. with all the teenagers coming back from school (maybe people I know.. or bullies :
I wish i could handle this, but even this makes me feel anxious, and the worst thing is, my invirement thinks im not willing to, because i dont even try, but i tried so many times, and it made me feel soo sick, i had to throw up after it, or felt like dying, hyperventilating, extremely sweating, and felt like dying around the people i saw, no no no.. ****.. what should i do.
I know i really want to, and i know i have to do this someday for myself, like getting the stuff and do this every week.. (maybe everyday also) so.. yea.. but this just sucks.. wish i could feel safe around there. but i would only feel safe when the store is empty xD me alone getting stuff and going back.. pretty much agoraphobic isnt it? ..so yueah.. i think i will eventually do it..but maybe not .. Okway.. **** sa -_-
and my parents say this is the most easiest thing everrrr.. but how can i see that??..
so.. my mom just asked me if i want to get something from the store, I know if i wont, she will get mad or frustrated and tell me I dont want anything.
She always does that, when I say I can't do it. She says i should just do it and dont care about what people think, i remember another time saying no.. sorry.. andn she said omg.. why arent you going.. just go.. and she called me lazy.. argh ..
But now is the prob, i'm sick again of the thought.. being in the store.. getting stuff, and facing other people and paying at the cashier.. argh.. and cycling through that busy road.. with all the teenagers coming back from school (maybe people I know.. or bullies :
I wish i could handle this, but even this makes me feel anxious, and the worst thing is, my invirement thinks im not willing to, because i dont even try, but i tried so many times, and it made me feel soo sick, i had to throw up after it, or felt like dying, hyperventilating, extremely sweating, and felt like dying around the people i saw, no no no.. ****.. what should i do.I know i really want to, and i know i have to do this someday for myself
, like getting the stuff and do this every week.. (maybe everyday also) so.. yea.. but this just sucks.. wish i could feel safe around there. but i would only feel safe when the store is empty xD me alone getting stuff and going back.. pretty much agoraphobic isnt it? ..so yueah.. i think i will eventually do it..but maybe not .. Okway.. **** sa -_-and my parents say this is the most easiest thing everrrr.. but how can i see that??
..
