Still cant go back

[scatmantom]

Ok i know i keep posting the same rubbish on here every week...but ive been invited to the place where i had my worst anxiety attack again. Its a club that is far from home and is tricky to reach/get home from.

I want to go cos thats 1 of the last things in my life that isnt "normal". I just cant get the courage together to go through with it. The very fact Im that bothered about going makes me feel that if i did go an attack would be un-avoidable. Is there any advice people can give, to force yourself to do something you really want to do...but you just cant get the courage to do it?

Its so frustrating...im 20 years old and im WASTING my youth by never doing anything out of the ordinary or going to new places.

(sorry if I sound really pissed off...but hey i am!!!!!)

 

[Falcon]

Scatmantom,

Here's my advice: set intermediate goals and write them down. For instance, maybe the first night you just drive past the club. The next week, you park and walk past the entrance. The week after that, you go inside, pay the cover, use the restroom, and leave. After that, you actually go inside and listen to the music for a bit.

Does that make sense?

 

[nexus]

Have you identified what triggered the anxiety attack while u were in that club?

Did it happen because of the crowd surrounding u or was it anything else?

Thinking about the reasons that caused it could also be a good start.

 

[Richey]

Ive been to many clubs over the years and I can honestly say that its such a forced environment, that i tend to stray from them these days. I dont enjoy the music most of the time and friends only want to get wasted until they become annoying and you just want to go home. That sounds very negative i know but may i ask why you actually want to go in the first place?

Do you drink? Do you enjoy the music that is played? Do you believe that dance clubs are the only place you will meet new people?

I just believe that the conditioning of this generation is that if you dont go out to a club or pub then you must be some dissowned freak and that is so not true.
Im not afraid of going to clubs because ive been so many times that i became used to it. I just realised that there are so many other ways to meet new people and it usually happens when you least expect it, the idea of going to a club is very forced and so that triggers the anxiety inside your head of "omg omg, what will i say? should i go up to that devilish looking girl near the bar"

I have made friends most of the time through me pursuing my own hobbies like playing soccer and going to live gigs around town to see bands that i love, when you meet people who share similar interests its such an ice breaker that the people you run into for the first time are almost like an automatic friend, it doesn;t matter if your nervous because you both share a similar interest so the anxiety is dulled.

I just find that this generation seems to judge young people harshly on how often they go out and drink at a club. I dont drink that often and I normally cant hear people very well and the music is always the same old top 50, and im not interested.

All im saying is ask yourself if you actually enjoy what an everyday pub/club offers. A chance to meet new people is always a great reason to go but it is a very ego-manic driven environment most of the time.

 

[matilda]

I think we we have to start viewing panic attacks in a different light and by christ i know that aint easy.

Going to the club and having another attack does NOT mean you have failed. Having the attack and fleeing means you have failed.

I think if you go to the club wiht the idea "ok i may well have a panic attack but im gunna stay put till it passes". Because we all know it DOES pass. Even if you sit there like a total zombie JUST STAY PUT TILL IT PASSES. Even try to adopt the attitude of welcoming the panic attack because you know as soon as it comes the sooner it will pass.

I write this advise to you but it is really to me as well. I have to constantly say this to myself.

 

[crazyfairyx]

I don't think you can 'fail' at all, if you go and leave within 2 minutes, you've still achieved something, and faced your fears. Even by not going, you are not failing, everyone avoids some things sometimes, and you can't push yourself into something you're not ready for. But when you do manage to face your fears, you cannot lose, even if you get to the place and panic and turn back, because you still showed immense bravery! Take small steps and do what you can, and be proud of *all* your achievements, because they all help in getting over sa