Steppen-Wolf
Well-known member
Hello, my name is Daniel, I'm 21 and I'm an inhabitant of the glorious banana republic of Colombia.
I've suffered from SP and related illness since I can remember, but right now I seem to be at a historical high point (which doesn't mean I'm great, just better than before).
I can't honestly say that me, my life or any of my ideas are particularily interesting or worth reading. But I just want to share my little perspective of life and the world, which in a way is kind of unique... As a middle class, white hispanic, suffering from SA and living in a small town in one of the ****tiest countries in Latin America.
As many around here I feel somewhat insecure about exposing myself here; what if noone answers?, what if too many people answer?, you know, the usual deal. But who really cares?, I just want to write.
This will be a mix between a journal, a blog and just writing down random toughts xD. Some of them will be related to my SA, some will not.
September 8, 2011.
Yesterday I got extremely annoyed due to a situation in class... I and a few of my classmates had an exposition (I don't that's the right word in English, anyway, you know when you stand and explain a certain topic while boring the hell out of everybody with Powerpoint).
So, there where two different topics to explain, I had done all of the research for one of them, and a girl had done the same with the other. She said she had consulted with the professor and that a certain chapter in a book had it all. But a big part of such chapter was really long and complicated, and so they asked me that if I could be the one to talk about it. I said fine, I actually enjoy academic challenges and (somehow) I love speaking in class. So inspite of having done all the research for the other topic, instead I took upon that one and made my PP presentation (22 slides just for it).
Yesterday comes the day, there was another group before us, and as I looked at all the topics I started to notice something a little odd. All of them were very... Practical let's say (I'm a law student), but mine was very theoretical and even historical. I became a little worried, so I asked my classmate whether she was sure that the topic involved the whole chapter of the book. She said yes, that she had asked the professor.
But I still wasn't sure, so I asked him directly in a class break and he told me that it had nothing to do with the presentation and that I was a complete irresponsible for asking him about that so late.
I can't describe how enraged I became : P... I always try to be a good student, I was the only one who got a perfect score in the first test of said class, I did about half of the job for the presentation when there where 7 people in the group and my only mistake was to trust that my classmates weren't completely incompetent and I was the irresponsible?, WTF?!
I'm usually a very calmed person, but at that point I was ready to tell him, my group partners and everyone on the goddamn class room to f*** o** you bunch of incompetent idiots. I always try to be nice and helpful to all of them, and not because I want anything, what the hell could I want from such morons?, and this is the payment I get?, to get reprimanded like if I was an incompetent idiot like them?
But I tried to somehow keep my cool and not do or say something that would later hurt me, so I just sat down and kept quiet for the rest of the class. The class ended before it was my group's turn, but still...
People call me arrogant and whatever, and I might be, but these are supposed to be college students and still among so many people I can't find one person that I can relly on for academic work (with the exception of one girl, but she doesn't take that class with me), they're all so lazy and mediocre.
But meh...
Anyway, at least something interesting happened to me this week.
I met a girl on the web, just by chance, and she lives not so far from here. She also has SP, and it seems worse than mine.
But the things is... That beyond that, she's amazing. She's a philosophy student, yet she strikes that nice balance between being smart and fun, she's adorable and very interesting. And she's even rather cute phisically.
And even more interesting, I have a feeling tha I might actually have a chance to help her improve a little bit in regards to her SP, just by sharing my experience and simply offering to listen to what she has to say.
And... I'll be damned... That's all I ever wanted in a friend, that's exactly the kind of person I've always wanted to meet, someone smart, deep but sensitive. With problems like anyone else, someone I could help and be useful to. Someone I could relate to without having to worry about explaining the strangeness of myself and my life.
It's far to early to think about what my come out of having met her, to be honest I'm looking for a friend first and foremost. And I also can't shake this feeling that it may all be some sort of hoax (I have no real reason to believe that, but it just seems so amazing to have finally found someone like that after 21 years of my life).
Time will tell, as always.
I've suffered from SP and related illness since I can remember, but right now I seem to be at a historical high point (which doesn't mean I'm great, just better than before).
I can't honestly say that me, my life or any of my ideas are particularily interesting or worth reading. But I just want to share my little perspective of life and the world, which in a way is kind of unique... As a middle class, white hispanic, suffering from SA and living in a small town in one of the ****tiest countries in Latin America.
As many around here I feel somewhat insecure about exposing myself here; what if noone answers?, what if too many people answer?, you know, the usual deal. But who really cares?, I just want to write.
This will be a mix between a journal, a blog and just writing down random toughts xD. Some of them will be related to my SA, some will not.
September 8, 2011.
Yesterday I got extremely annoyed due to a situation in class... I and a few of my classmates had an exposition (I don't that's the right word in English, anyway, you know when you stand and explain a certain topic while boring the hell out of everybody with Powerpoint).
So, there where two different topics to explain, I had done all of the research for one of them, and a girl had done the same with the other. She said she had consulted with the professor and that a certain chapter in a book had it all. But a big part of such chapter was really long and complicated, and so they asked me that if I could be the one to talk about it. I said fine, I actually enjoy academic challenges and (somehow) I love speaking in class. So inspite of having done all the research for the other topic, instead I took upon that one and made my PP presentation (22 slides just for it).
Yesterday comes the day, there was another group before us, and as I looked at all the topics I started to notice something a little odd. All of them were very... Practical let's say (I'm a law student), but mine was very theoretical and even historical. I became a little worried, so I asked my classmate whether she was sure that the topic involved the whole chapter of the book. She said yes, that she had asked the professor.
But I still wasn't sure, so I asked him directly in a class break and he told me that it had nothing to do with the presentation and that I was a complete irresponsible for asking him about that so late.
I can't describe how enraged I became : P... I always try to be a good student, I was the only one who got a perfect score in the first test of said class, I did about half of the job for the presentation when there where 7 people in the group and my only mistake was to trust that my classmates weren't completely incompetent and I was the irresponsible?, WTF?!
I'm usually a very calmed person, but at that point I was ready to tell him, my group partners and everyone on the goddamn class room to f*** o** you bunch of incompetent idiots. I always try to be nice and helpful to all of them, and not because I want anything, what the hell could I want from such morons?, and this is the payment I get?, to get reprimanded like if I was an incompetent idiot like them?
But I tried to somehow keep my cool and not do or say something that would later hurt me, so I just sat down and kept quiet for the rest of the class. The class ended before it was my group's turn, but still...
People call me arrogant and whatever, and I might be, but these are supposed to be college students and still among so many people I can't find one person that I can relly on for academic work (with the exception of one girl, but she doesn't take that class with me), they're all so lazy and mediocre.
But meh...
Anyway, at least something interesting happened to me this week.
I met a girl on the web, just by chance, and she lives not so far from here. She also has SP, and it seems worse than mine.
But the things is... That beyond that, she's amazing. She's a philosophy student, yet she strikes that nice balance between being smart and fun, she's adorable and very interesting. And she's even rather cute phisically.
And even more interesting, I have a feeling tha I might actually have a chance to help her improve a little bit in regards to her SP, just by sharing my experience and simply offering to listen to what she has to say.
And... I'll be damned... That's all I ever wanted in a friend, that's exactly the kind of person I've always wanted to meet, someone smart, deep but sensitive. With problems like anyone else, someone I could help and be useful to. Someone I could relate to without having to worry about explaining the strangeness of myself and my life.
It's far to early to think about what my come out of having met her, to be honest I'm looking for a friend first and foremost. And I also can't shake this feeling that it may all be some sort of hoax (I have no real reason to believe that, but it just seems so amazing to have finally found someone like that after 21 years of my life).
Time will tell, as always.