step 1 for healing SA?

BIG_FRINGE

BIG_FRINGE

Active member
im not sure about this, but im gonna say it.
i think step one for getting over sa, is to stop over analysing everything. like the reason why this happens i think is because we look like this, or talk like this, or this. thing is about over analysing is that u can do it as much as you like, but ur never gonna really know why, when and how. never. so whats the point?
so pointers.
stop over analsing why u got SA
'' '' why u find it hard talking to people
'' '' why ur 'weird' and why people think ur 'wierd''
'' '' why people react to you in certain ways.

the list could go on.
were simple. life is simple. conversation is simple. so dont look to far into it.
 
Depressed4life

Depressed4life

Banned
...

Yeah you are right but in order or us to do that we have to have a lot of WILL POWER. Also, we need to dedicate time into making ourselves stop stressing so much about this stupid assumptions that aren't even true. However, it is not easy, yet it is not impossible.
 
Walk

Walk

Well-known member
I would say step one is getting yourself out the other side of your living room door.
 
BIG_FRINGE

BIG_FRINGE

Active member
nothing worth having is ever easy, its not a click and start not stressing thing, its a up and down struggle over a long period of time. the sooner u start, the less time before u start feeling more comfortable in your own skin.
and i would say stop stressing becomes before leaving ur living room door because u need to stop stressing about thats on the other side of it.
 
U

user12053

Well-known member
BIG_FRINGE said:
im not sure about this, but im gonna say it.
i think step one for getting over sa, is to stop over analysing everything. like the reason why this happens i think is because we look like this, or talk like this, or this. thing is about over analysing is that u can do it as much as you like, but ur never gonna really know why, when and how. never. so whats the point?
so pointers.
stop over analsing why u got SA
'' '' why u find it hard talking to people
'' '' why ur 'weird' and why people think ur 'wierd''
'' '' why people react to you in certain ways.

the list could go on.
were simple. life is simple. conversation is simple. so dont look to far into it.
Click to expand...

I agree!! I over analyze every littel thing. I tend to observe "normal" people in situations where I would get anxiety, and see if they're nervous and how they handle it. But I cannot figure out people who dont get nervous. I wish I could. I wanna know what they're thinking and feeling. But I can't get a thing out of their body signals because they seem so freaking calm.
I think you have to make it your number 1 priorty to do stuff that helps you get over your SA. Such as stop analyzing everything and just get yourself to face your fears. But I'm still wondering if getting your self in these situations will make your SA worse or better. That's why it's so difficult for me to go for it.
 
BIG_FRINGE

BIG_FRINGE

Active member
as the saying goes. things get worse before they get better. its what i like to call the transitional period where ur body goes into fight or flight mode, stress is high, u wana get the hell outa there, but u switch to fight and u ride it out. yeh the stress remains high, and its higher than it would be if u choise flight. but after time of doing this, the stress gets lower each time.

for example. im am not a shy person, im actualy really outgoing. ive had problems, and ive been depressed. so i couldnt be bothered to talk, or didnt feel like it for a long time. after gettting over depression, the habbits of not talking stayed with me, and litterally nothing would come to mind to talk about! as time progrssed, i would start getting anxious in social situations not because i have SA, but because i just didnt know what the fuck to say coz i spent so long not doing it. i kept my thoughts silent rather than expressing them. so using the method im trying to help you with, ive just been going for it, fuck what it sounds like, its what i think and i wanna talk about!
this morning, i felt calm, relaxed, confident, and it showed, people were really receptive to me. this afternoon, i felt a little bit up tight, not so calm and abit anxious. but still confident. i went into flight mode and just spoke my way through my anxiousness. didnt really get into a great deal of conversation with anyone, becauce ya know, i just didnt wanna! went home. and i dont feel bad about it. because im doing well. and all that aside, maybe sometimes u just dont feel like talking, people without any problrms also sometimes just dont feel like talking, and i dont care what no one else thinks of that. so i had my ups today, i had a panic period. buts its to be expected. concidering ive started this from saturday, where i litterally decided on the spot i was gonna come more outa my shell mid way through a chat with my mate, ive felt great ever since.

just dont be hard on yaself, it takes time. ive met loadsa new people today, guided a stranger to a station who i just bumped into. and seen a stranger i sorta know and tapped em on the shoulder to be friendly and chat, successfuly i might add (this is what im really like, but i just repressed it for so long). theres still that voice in my head trying to analyse everyting that happened today, but im just ignoring it, and keeping busy. its working.

this aint a big up me rant. ive had this problem for 5 years, and i literally decided to stop. im sayin, if i can give it a bloody good go, why cant you as well?
 
U

user12053

Well-known member
BIG_FRINGE said:
as the saying goes. things get worse before they get better. its what i like to call the transitional period where ur body goes into fight or flight mode, stress is high, u wana get the hell outa there, but u switch to fight and u ride it out. yeh the stress remains high, and its higher than it would be if u choise flight. but after time of doing this, the stress gets lower each time.

for example. im am not a shy person, im actualy really outgoing. ive had problems, and ive been depressed. so i couldnt be bothered to talk, or didnt feel like it for a long time. after gettting over depression, the habbits of not talking stayed with me, and litterally nothing would come to mind to talk about! as time progrssed, i would start getting anxious in social situations not because i have SA, but because i just didnt know what the fuck to say coz i spent so long not doing it. i kept my thoughts silent rather than expressing them. so using the method im trying to help you with, ive just been going for it, fuck what it sounds like, its what i think and i wanna talk about!
this morning, i felt calm, relaxed, confident, and it showed, people were really receptive to me. this afternoon, i felt a little bit up tight, not so calm and abit anxious. but still confident. i went into flight mode and just spoke my way through my anxiousness. didnt really get into a great deal of conversation with anyone, becauce ya know, i just didnt wanna! went home. and i dont feel bad about it. because im doing well. and all that aside, maybe sometimes u just dont feel like talking, people without any problrms also sometimes just dont feel like talking, and i dont care what no one else thinks of that. so i had my ups today, i had a panic period. buts its to be expected. concidering ive started this from saturday, where i litterally decided on the spot i was gonna come more outa my shell mid way through a chat with my mate, ive felt great ever since.

just dont be hard on yaself, it takes time. ive met loadsa new people today, guided a stranger to a station who i just bumped into. and seen a stranger i sorta know and tapped em on the shoulder to be friendly and chat, successfuly i might add (this is what im really like, but i just repressed it for so long). theres still that voice in my head trying to analyse everyting that happened today, but im just ignoring it, and keeping busy. its working.

this aint a big up me rant. ive had this problem for 5 years, and i literally decided to stop. im sayin, if i can give it a bloody good go, why cant you as well?
Click to expand...

I bore myself when I talk. Don't know why. I'd rather listen to people talk, because I feel I "waste" time talking about stuff I know about myself.
 
billy

billy

Well-known member
i think if we all knew how to relax wed be more likeable to talk to:) and make our conversational skills alot better:)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top