Staring Problem

[DukeOtakuNukem]

Unfortunately, ever since I have been hit many times back in grade school, I stare at people and take in all the surroundings in public places in fear of being attacked by someone across the street or store I am in, and not surprisingly I get frowned at very often, and now I am starting to feel resentment towards people because of it. I am unsure of what to do at this point. Any assistance will be very greatly appreciated!

 

[laure15]

I have the same problem too. I notice that I tend to look at people because I feel threatened by them. I make constant glances at them (directly or out of the corner of my eyes) to see whether they are gossiping about me. I feel very paranoid when I go out. It's driving me nuts. I can relate but I don't have good advice to offer because I'll still dealing with this problem.

 

[satstrn]

Cognitive Behavior Therapy would have you first acknowledge the fact that people are highly unlikely to either attack you (which is highly illegal) or gossip about you. The second step is to observe what your mind tells you when you are in these situations (they are talking about me, they are going to beat me up) and contrast this to reality. Finally, when you are in these situations you replace these thoughts with more positive thoughts that are actually far closer to reality. (they see me as a normal/neutral human being, they might be nice, interesting people, etc). Try holding eye contact with people...when they look at you, smile. You will rarely get frowned at.

 

[rocky_oreo]

I used to have trouble making eye contact with someone who talked to me but now I can make eye contact but always worry if I'm staring and I probably look as though I'm not listening to what they're saying because I don't know where to look.

My Mum and I used to go shopping in this crowded shopping centre every so often. I hate shopping by the way (unless it's in an american grocery store :bigsmile: ). She helped with my fear of people standing about noticing/laughing/gossiping about me. We would take a break from shopping and sit on a bench with a hot drink and just watch people going about their daily business as they walked by. I noticed big groups of young adults walking by and they didn't notice us or if they did, it was just a quick glance. I noticed how others laughed and talked as they went by and it just made me view people in a different way and made me feel less paranoid.

 

[DukeOtakuNukem]

Well thank god I'm not the only human soul struggling with this. I read another thread almost exactly like this one, and there was a suggestion to wear sunglasses, so I may try that. Thanks for your replies so far.

 

[rocky_oreo]

I am always more relaxed outside in summer when I wear sunglasses, especially in the front seat of a car. Then people have no idea if you feel like you're staring or not listening

 

[DukeOtakuNukem]

I see, so is there anything else I could do to alleviate social situations like being in public places such as restaurants or shopping centers? That is where the problems are mostly at. Thanks.