sources of anxiety

[doubleM]

i think ive pinpointed some of the sources of my anxiety, depression, self-hate, etc. ive been doing alot of reading and research.
in psychology, these things are linked to things that happen to your in childhood. like something someone said to you or did to you, and it left an imprint in your mind. its called the initial sensitizing event. then as an adult, when a similar thing happens to you, your subconscious mind brings back the feeling but not the memory. the subconscious mind is all about emotion and therapy is all about reprogramming the subconscious mind. thats how i understand it anyway im no expert.

looking over my childhood, i remember alot of emotional painful things that happened. for example, my parents were really overprotective. my mom is really religious, but somewhat quiet, cold, and distant. my dad is really negative, critical, and hot tempered. it was hard to talk to either one of them. to top that off i was never allowed to do the things other kids could do. i think this has caused most of my problems.
in school i got made fun of alot and was a total outcast. i had this guy who was my mortal enemy. everybody liked him and he seemed to out do me at everything. which i look back and laugh about it now, but at the time it caused me awful hurt becuz i grew up feeling like a failure and thought everybody hated me. i went to school and got put down, i went home and got put down.

of course things are different now. im an adult but ive had these probems since i was a kid. its still hard for me to talk to my parents. they did love me growing up, but their methods were wrong. i have social anxiety, fear of what people think, and trying to talk to women is like eating glass to me.

but apparently the source of all the negative emotions is the subconscious mind. with positive thoughts and positive affirmations it can help reprogram the subconscious.
ive tried doing this. i can get rid of my negative thoughts but the thing is i cant get rid of the FEELING. i can tell myself that im not a failure but i still FEEL like one. i pace around trying to figure out why but no answers. i guess it takes time.

 

[Iseesky]

I think you're half right. I think half of it is situational, and the other half is genetic. I definitely have some situations that made my condition worse. But I've had the condition almost my entire life to begin with. Nothing started it. It seemed to just be there. In general, I was an anxious kid and now I'm an anxious teen. I just hope I'm not an anxious adult!

 

[mwas]

I totally understand your words, I think it is the same for every social phobic person, I too had a very tough upbringing, I have a brother who used to bring me down in every thing that I did when we were little. This became a trend even in my high school, I used to blame myself whenever a bigger kid bullied me, I thought it is because I am weak or something, this has taken toll in my life in a major way. God is great though, am learning in small bits how to overcome it everyday...I think the key thing is to learn not to give up on your self no matter how bad it feels, n then one day it is gonna all be in the past.

 

[doubleM]

I, am learning in small bits how to overcome it everyday...I think the key thing is to learn not to give up on your self no matter how bad it feels, n then one day it is gonna all be in the past.

thats the attitude i have now. i got really down and anxious about a month ago. it was so bad i wanted to die. but im doing better now.
ive always wanted some solution to just make it all go away, but now i understand that wont happen and its something i have take steps with. still dealing with alot of loneliness and wanting to be isolated. dont know how im gonna get out of that.

 

[doubleM]

I think you're half right. I think half of it is situational, and the other half is genetic. I definitely have some situations that made my condition worse. But I've had the condition almost my entire life to begin with. Nothing started it. It seemed to just be there. In general, I was an anxious kid and now I'm an anxious teen. I just hope I'm not an anxious adult!

psychologists say that 90% of the time it is a learned behavior. i cant really link every fear i have to a single bad childhood memory but i know inside that is whats affected me the most.