Sometimes I forget I have SA

[Atlantis]

When I am at a social situation, sometimes I want to behave and act as everyone else does and act as if I had the same rights as them. Like act as if I didn't have SA.... I think I keep forgeting that I have SA. Maybe I should remember my place.

It is like if I have to be remembered that I'm distinct from other people always that I want to act normally in social situation.

I don't now, maybe thats what causes the problem. Next time, I will keep up to my lowly place and will not try to be what I can't. Maybe I'm really worse than other people and I have to notice that.

Maybe there is a way to solve this problem, if you remember you have SA. So in those difficult situations, you will know that you can't do like everyone else... so you have to be shy. You can't really not be shy and you won't be trying if you remember your place.

Any commentaries, advices on that. Am I right or wrong and why ?

 

[Angel_Of_Death]

I disagree.

Having social anxiety prevents you from being the "real you".

A personal example,

I love listening to music. But I never listen to music in front of other people, because of the social anxiety, the fear of being judged, so I only listen to music when I'm alone. Meaning the social anxiety prevent me from being the "real me".

 

[Angel_Of_Death]

To add to my thought...


In the conquest of overcoming social anxiety, I think the ultimate goal would be not to try and act like others, but rather be yourself, not be ashamed of being yourself and be confident in a social situations and not seeing yourself inferior to anyone else.

Of course, easier said than done...

 

[Len]

"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages."

 

[Zarrix]

Sometimes you do feel calmer and more relaxed, but that good feeling is broken by sleep or one bad (read:relatively minor) event. You don't actually forget when you are in this mood, you just think "Wow, maybe im not as bad as I thought I was".

But I agree with the above poster, you can never be yourself, you want to please everybody by being like them. And if you try to please everybody, you don't please anybody, sure learnt that the hard way.

 

[toothpastekisses]

..................

 

[jamez]

SA ain't shit. It certainly ain't a disease and you certainly don't have to accept it as part of you. You act however you want to act, preferably in a tasteful manner.

 

[Erdkunde]

I agree with jamez to a certain extent.

Atlantis, in your post you seem to consider SA as an inextricable part of your identity. If you do, and that belief doesn't cause you any distress, well, fine...but it doesn't seem like that belief makes you happy. If SA makes you unhappy, then there's no reason to consider it as a permanent part of your character.

If you want to be "normal" and "act as everyone else does", then you have every right to do so. Don't let the superficial diagnosis/label of SA take control of you.

 

[SocialButterSlip]

Sometimes you do feel calmer and more relaxed, but that good feeling is broken by sleep or one bad (read:relatively minor) event. You don't actually forget when you are in this mood, you just think "Wow, maybe im not as bad as I thought I was".

But I agree with the above poster, you can never be yourself, you want to please everybody by being like them. And if you try to please everybody, you don't please anybody, sure learnt that the hard way.

that happens to me to with the sleep, it resets my sa

 

[Atlantis]

To add to my thought...


In the conquest of overcoming social anxiety, I think the ultimate goal would be not to try and act like others, but rather be yourself, not be ashamed of being yourself and be confident in a social situations and not seeing yourself inferior to anyone else.

Of course, easier said than done...

I know, I think I was angered or something when I was putting myself as inferior, but its bad since sometimes I go somewhere wanting to be myself, thats my first instinct. But them there comes SA remembering you that you can't do that. I mean, everything goes wrong and the situation itself puts you as inferior.

Like if no matter what you think how good you are, everything will fail when you try.

There must be a method, you can't struggle with it by raw willpower. Its too difficult. Its impossible.

 

[Atlantis]

I agree with jamez to a certain extent.

Atlantis, in your post you seem to consider SA as an inextricable part of your identity. If you do, and that belief doesn't cause you any distress, well, fine...but it doesn't seem like that belief makes you happy. If SA makes you unhappy, then there's no reason to consider it as a permanent part of your character.

If you want to be "normal" and "act as everyone else does", then you have every right to do so. Don't let the superficial diagnosis/label of SA take control of you.

I don't feel comfortable with SA. But when you have no victory and everything always went wrong its difficult to keep believing in yourself.
Looks like if the most logical answer is to think that there is something wrong with you. That you are bad or something. I think you need a little victory to have hope.

 

[tpdarlo]

I agree to some extent that when you label yourself as socially anxious you may make yourself socially anxious. This is the mindset argument - if you have the mindset of a winner you become a winner. If you have the mindset of a loser you become a loser.

In contrary to this I also think that when you recognise your anxiety as an illness that isn't your fault and isn't part of your personality, it can be comforting. If you can somehow detach SA from your being, and consider it an alien invader to your body that you're fighting off, it could help you overcome it.

 

[Atlantis]

I agree to some extent that when you label yourself as socially anxious you may make yourself socially anxious. This is the mindset argument - if you have the mindset of a winner you become a winner. If you have the mindset of a loser you become a loser.

In contrary to this I also think that when you recognise your anxiety as an illness that isn't your fault and isn't part of your personality, it can be comforting. If you can somehow detach SA from your being, and consider it an alien invader to your body that you're fighting off, it could help you overcome it.

Interesting what you said.

It s true, there is something comforting when you recognize your anxiety. I think its because you understand it in a way. It would be nice if you could by understanding or recognizing that it is something external to you, detach it from yourself. But I can't even that close to imagine what that would be.