Something isn't right...

[SnackleZ]

Like I've said before, I'm a recovering SP, so I'm starting to get out and do more things that I didn't used to do. Like dating for instance.

My very first date was last Saturday. My buddy set me up on a blind date with one of his friends from a local town. We had a good time, and she seems like a really sweet girl, but something isn't right. What I mean by that, is that I don't exactly have a reputation for being the coolest, hottest guy, etc in school. Which, obviously, this amazingly beautiful cheerleader girl who now proclaims me as her boyfriend, doesn't care about. Obviously, no one at school believes me, so I'm forced to rely on the ones that were there to vouch for me (they already had gf's they were meeting up with)

Anyway...
Something about this isn't right. At the end of the date, she told me to call her, and that we "so have to start hanging out", etc. So... I called her. But, I got her sister instead. EVERYTIME I CALL, her sister picks up. It's always some bullshit excuse too... "Oh, she's in the shower, she's not here, she's sleeping". Then I talk with her sister for a while hoping it might score me brownie points with Kayla. Most of what we talk about partains to my relationship with Kayla, and I've found out some stuff I didn't know. Like, she REALLY REALLY likes me, and that she's dying for another date, but she didn't know that I liked her by the way I acted on the date.

Monday:
I was very close to Kayla's house, golfing with a friend, when I decided to call and see if she wanted to hang out for a little while. Of course, Kayla wasn't there, but her sister was, and she wanted to go see her boyfriend. Well, I said no, but then she said that Kayla would show up at the guy's house later on, so being a sucker, I gave in. Hours went by, no Kayla. I took her home, and went home myself. On the way home with her, I told her that I'd like to set something up for Wednesday night, and she said that Kayla would really like that.

Every call from there on out, no Kayla. Unfortunately, her sister is ALWAYS willing to talk.

Wednesday:
I call and confirm the date for last night, and yes, it's still on, unfortunately though, Kayla's sleeping. Her sister BEGGED me to go pick up her BF, so I did, and we went over towards the movie theatre where we were supposed to meet up. 2 hours late. We got worried, so we went to her friend's house where we hung out on Saturday. No Kayla, no sister. Story was that they were supposed to meet us at the theatre. So, I called her house. Dad answered (drunk), and said that they both went to the movies.

So, we drove around, looking for ANY sign that something might be up (car wreck, a friend of hers), but found none, so I made the last move I could have made. I called my buddy and had him Google the phone number, get an address, and directions to her house, and we went there.

When we got there, we both introduced ourselves, and the had a little trouble keeping on subject. Drunk, obviously. Anyway, we found out that my little gf Kayla went to a party last night and she too had too much to drink, and had been sleeping the ENTIRE DAY. She was in the room in the back. This dissapointed me. We later fished it out of her father that her sister left, and he didn't know where she went if she wasn't at the movies, so something was up.

I did talk to her dad a little bit and he said that he's heard A LOT about me, and that she REALLY likes me. I believe him. This guy was spilling his guts to us... telling us about his past life, troubles that are going on now, and why he's drinking right then. Either way, I scored in good with her father, and he really likes me a lot. I was offered several things, beer, cigarette, hard liquor, etc, all of which I turned down and he congratulated me on.

After a little while, Kayla's dad mentioned once again that Kayla was in the back room and I could go wake her up if I wanted to, but being a gentleman, I turned it down to let her sleep. Her dad then said that he was gonna go wake her up because she's been sleeping all day and he "knows she wants to see" me. I followed. He went into the room and pulled back the covers and I heard her say "what the hell?" and he said
"Your knight in shining armor is here to rescue you!"
"Not you." she said
"Pfft. No. It's that guy you went out on a date with Saturday. I told him everything you said about him being so sweet, and romantic."
"(sweet but tired voice) He really is. Shining armor... yeah." then she went back to sleep.

We went back into the living room where we watched a Lynard Skynard video for a few minutes, then Kayla's sister showed up and hung around with her boyfriend who was with me. She told me that Kayla was all ready to go, but not long after I hung up from calling to say that I was leaving, she threw up all over and went back to bed. Then, for some reason, Kayla's sister decided to go to church, so that's where she was at the whole time.

Her sister hung out with her bf for a while. That went by for an hour or so, and I decided it was time to go. I was very devistated that I didn't get to hang out with Kayla.

So...
I guess it's understandable that she was obviously sick, and couldn't go, but what's eating at me is that I never can catch her on the phone. It's not that I'm calling at the wrong times, because I don't think that I am. She's never called here. But, everyone (her sister and her dad) reassures me that she really really likes me.

I can't figure this out. Is there something I'm missing?

 

[Danfalc]

I think you hit the nail on the head with the title of your post.To be completley honest, to me it sounds like this girl is screwing you around mate.I mean if she really likes you, how come you get an excuse everytime you ring and she never turns up.I really think she is just taking you for a ride... maybe i could be being too synical, and she could be too nervous to meet you or somthing, but i doubt it.

My advice is stop chasing her, youve being making the effort and she's basicaly taken the piss by ignoring you.Tell her sister that your sick of running in circles and being mucked about, leave your number and say if she is actualy intrested ring you and leave the ball in her court.

 

[allanboy]

Yeah, she is either a very busy girl or she is avoiding you. I´d go for the second one.
Talk to her face to face somehow and set these things straight. If this shit continues, move ahead, dont waste your time here.

 

[SnackleZ]

I did ask her sister last night before we parted "should I even bother to call anymore?"... She seemed a little shocked that I would ask that, and asked why, I told, and she said that I just call at the wrong time. But it's more than that... I don't JUST call at the wrong time, I ALWAYS call at the wrong time. To top that off, she never calls me back.

Her sister has mentioned that she's not a very "phone conversation" kind of person. She's more face to face, but I've only done that once, and I was so nervous, I didn't really do much to get the point across that I was into her, so she mentioned that she was going to hook me up with her friend Heather. This had me dissappointed, but I later talked to Kayla's sister, and she said that she said that to see if I would say NO, but not answering had her confused.

To be quite honest, I really like her, and from what I've heard, she really likes me. I do think she is a bit shy though. Her sister's told me in the past that she's not used to real gentlemen, but the jocky, abusive, bastards that always get the beautiful women. I guess now that she's met me, she's not sure how to react, and is "hiding in her shell". Which, is understandable. Personally, I'm not sure how to act around her. She's more preppy, social, and of course, a cheerleader. So, she's got jocks hitting on her all of the time, and when someone like me steps in, then it starts getting frustrating, embarassing.

One thing I can't seem to deal with is her partying...
I'm sure, that if I went to a party with her and told her how I felt about drinking, smoking, etc. that she would try to work herself off of it all, but I haven't had that opportunity, and the only opportunity that I have in my window (saturday night - sleepover that I was invited to on our first date), I can't attend because my family is making me stay at home to spend time with the realitives.

Another thing that I've been thinking about is that she might be a little under the weather about her grandfather. When I was talking to her father last night, he said that he doesn't normally drink, but the reason he was drinking that night was because his dad was getting ready to die and it was obvious he only had a few days left. That might explain the hangover that Kayla had... but then again, maybe not.

Seriously, I'm two sided on this. One side says to stay in it for a little while and get the story from her, and go from there, and another side says to bag it and tag it. I really care about her, but... I don't know. I dont' know if I'm moving too fast, or too slow, or what it is.

 

[Danfalc]

One thing I can't seem to deal with is her partying...
I'm sure, that if I went to a party with her and told her how I felt about drinking, smoking, etc. that she would try to work herself off of it all,

I dont think its a good idea to try and change someone to suit you better...and i think its unfair to try and get someone to change just because you dont agree with what they do.Sorry im not having a go.. thats just my personal opinion.

You said thats she is use to more abusive bastard type of guys.... and thats the reason she finds its hard to deal with you, to be honest that sounds like bs to me, if she is use to in your face loud arrorgant guys,then im sure she can handle someone a little quiter and more polite.

You also said its embaressing when someone like you steps in, instead of the jock kind of guy.If you ment its embarresing for her... then do you really want to be with a girl thats ashamed to be seen with you?

I suppose youve got three options really... like you said you could just away from it all, but as you seem to really like this gal you probaly wont do that.

So either.. when you get the chance sit her down and talk to her, because she is the only place your going to get the answers to all these questions.

Or back off because youve been doing all the chasing, and see if she contacts you.

 

[SnackleZ]

As if it couldn't get any worse...

I called her house a few hours ago while I was out on the road comming home, wondering if I could stop by for a little while. Her brother picked up the phone, and handed it to her Dad, who I talked with for a little while. Of course, I was polite, but something was up once again.

We talked about how Kayla and I are "just friends, nothing more" and that we'll never be more than just friends, but he didn't explain why, nor did I ask, he just said "Let's get real here." and that was the end of it. He then asked if I still wanted to talk to Kayla, and I said yes (because we are friends, nonetheless) and he said he would go get her. He then came back and said to call back in 10-15min because she was drying her hair.

I never called back.

I'm a little... upset about the talk. Not only did he pretty much say that I couldn't go out with her anymore, but he also said that if I were ever to do anything that would hurt her, my life is over. Which, I'm a very respectable person. I wouldn't ever do anything to even give the intention of hurting another human being, but obviously, her father doesn't think that.

I guess it's over.
I don't want to call it off without hearing from her, but I'm not calling back anymore. I don't expect that she will call back either, so... I guess she told her dad to try to say something to scare me off. It worked, obviously. But honestly, I don't know what was said. I just know I'm a little shook up right now.

 

[magda74]

Sorry that it played out like that. On the bright side, at least you found out about the game playing before you had developed deep feelings for her. She did you a favour. You'll meet someone who will appreciate how sweet you are.

 

[Crazy]

...

 

[indy]

sounds to me like she might have social anxiety disorder or something. She says she likes you, but sometimes people are afraid to get too close to people cause they don't want to hurt them or are ashamed of something in their own lives. Do you think her dad could be the type that might beat her up a bit? He drinks right? The picture in my head is of a girl that really likes you but is afraid to get too close to you because she doesn't wanna get hurt, or hurt you or something....like "good will hunting"...that type of psychology.

I don't know the full story, but personally, I'd say don't give up on her...you might really be her knight in shining armour.

 

[Crazy]

...

 

[J]

My advice: Do nothing.

1. If she really likes you, she'll call, but she better also be able to explain what the hell she's been doing. I'd avoid her unless she, herself, comes chasing after you--and even then, in light of events, avoiding her might still be the best option....

2. If she doesn't call, then she's not worth your time anyway.

I get the strong impression that #2 is more true. That's a really screwed up situation, and you very well may be having a very cruel joke played on you.