Some interesting comments in this thread. ;-)
I'm probably gonna rub some people the wrong way here, but so be it. I think we DO choose to be shy/socially anxious in a way. I think we choose it subconsiously and we practice it every day by telling ourselves that people don't like us; or that they won't accept us; or that we're generally no good. I think we keep ourselves anxious by continuously feeding ourselves on this bullshit. And it IS bullshit... I mean, I've met some really great, friendly, insightful, intelligent, knowledgable people on this board -- clearly evidence to the contrary -- but we still choose to tell ourselves these things nonetheless.
I don't believe we got into this state by choice (who would want this?) and all manner of things in our lives have contributed to our SA. But at the same time, I don't think it's fair to blame society for everything. While society has definitely played a part in us becoming anxious people, some of the responsibility for the way we feel MUST fall back on us. We're not passengers in this life simply along for the ride. We have the capacity to affect change.
Finally, I think it's important to accept that what's done is done. None of us can change the fact that we've developed SA, but getting here and staying here are two different things, in my opinion. I think that energy is better directed at repairing the damage rather than expended looking for reasons why the damage occured. You can't change the fact that you got here; fortunately, though, you CAN change the fact that you stay here.
I believe it's our choice to either give in to our anxiety and let our problems consume us, or to work on getting better. I guess you've gotta be an optimist sometimes.
