Society is fucked up

[InMyTree]

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[paul]

... so we choose to be shy/socially anxious? o_o; I'm not really following you sorry

 

[Mysti]

Hmm I think 'InMyTree' means because society is so focused on 'perfection' people are pressured into being so selfconscious about themselves that perhaps this feeling of inadequacy can lead to anxiety disorders. I think this could well be a contributing factor in some cases, I think someone on the boards recently suggested cultural difference could make a difference? I don't think they were suggesting that it was a choice of whether to suffer from a social disorder rather that, humans as a race are never content with what they have and will strive to reach impossible heights and make themselves miserable in the process.

 

[AnnaMaria]

Very interesting. I'll try reading that book.

 

[JoeRandomUser]

Some interesting comments in this thread. ;-)

I'm probably gonna rub some people the wrong way here, but so be it. I think we DO choose to be shy/socially anxious in a way. I think we choose it subconsiously and we practice it every day by telling ourselves that people don't like us; or that they won't accept us; or that we're generally no good. I think we keep ourselves anxious by continuously feeding ourselves on this bullshit. And it IS bullshit... I mean, I've met some really great, friendly, insightful, intelligent, knowledgable people on this board -- clearly evidence to the contrary -- but we still choose to tell ourselves these things nonetheless.

I don't believe we got into this state by choice (who would want this?) and all manner of things in our lives have contributed to our SA. But at the same time, I don't think it's fair to blame society for everything. While society has definitely played a part in us becoming anxious people, some of the responsibility for the way we feel MUST fall back on us. We're not passengers in this life simply along for the ride. We have the capacity to affect change.

Finally, I think it's important to accept that what's done is done. None of us can change the fact that we've developed SA, but getting here and staying here are two different things, in my opinion. I think that energy is better directed at repairing the damage rather than expended looking for reasons why the damage occured. You can't change the fact that you got here; fortunately, though, you CAN change the fact that you stay here.

I believe it's our choice to either give in to our anxiety and let our problems consume us, or to work on getting better. I guess you've gotta be an optimist sometimes.

 

[wistful_dementia]

yeah maybe, and organized religion has done a pretty good job at fucking up society also.

 

[wutnow]

Finally, I think it's important to accept that what's done is done. None of us can change the fact that we've developed SA, but getting here and staying here are two different things, in my opinion. I think that energy is better directed at repairing the damage rather than expended looking for reasons why the damage occured. You can't change the fact that you got here; fortunately, though, you CAN change the fact that you stay here.

Good point. It's always the same reason anyway: "Somebody else f:cked up." :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:

Sooner than later, you're right, you should move on and start healing.

 

[black_mamba]

I think we DO choose to be shy/socially anxious in a way. I think we choose it subconsiously and we practice it every day by telling ourselves that people don't like us; or that they won't accept us; or that we're generally no good.

I agree. I dislike the term 'society' though, I think because the word itself refers to other people it becomes an easy way of blaming others, or maybe it's alluding to the group mentality of society.

None of us can change the fact that we've developed SA

I'm sure there are many who have improved, myself for example. We can change the situation by the very fact that sometimes it is us who brought it on in the first place. 8O