Socialising with people "who are not your type"

[tooshytosay]

I guess this is the issue for me. For people whom I automatically "click" with, I don't really need to try anything at all. I can just be myself and everything works out fine.

Unfortunately such people are so few and far in between - maybe one in a thousand. The rest seem to be people who are "completely" different to me.

You might say, well don't hang around with such people. Unfortunately, society demands us to "socialize" with people who are completely not our types.

Probably the example of this is work. In my eyes anyway, so-called "work" seems to be 99% about socialising, and 1% about doing the work itself. And it is highly unlikely, if you're like me, to find anyone you "click with" at work. Yet so much of work is about socializing! Lunch breaks, coffee breaks, lulls during work, banter during work... the list goes on and on; yet you're having to engage in such things with people who might as well be aliens to you.

I donno. I just feel everyone else is so like everyone else. They don't need to "try" anything. They can just be themselves and everything is fine because the world is like them anyway.

 

[Bustn Justin]

That is exactly how I feel around other ppl and it just stresses me out when I am around others so I don't look like a total wierdo.

 

[missjesss]

I hate socialising with ppl I don't like or click with it stresses me out even more

 

[kihira]

You are so true with this, I have considered this often. I have seen in conversations that people will be satisfied with smalltalk things like football or having one way conversations, lots of people talk and never listen. So what we witness is not like those one-in-a-thousand connections, more like something akin to birds twittering.

 

[missjesss]

phocas

I had to giggle about ur twittering bird comment I truly get exhausted after being around ppl who just speak whatever is on there mind about meaningless crap ! if you gotta talk at least talk about something of meaning and importance or something interesting not how the bloody football is going ! lol

 

[Minty]

This is my main problem. I can't click with most people. It's really, really odd. Most people are extroverted and they have this amazing presence--clothes, smile, the way they project their voice into a room. But when I'm talking to them, I get the feeling that there isn't much going on underneath. I'm most interested in people's private worlds. The stuff they feel deeply but are too afraid to confess because it's taboo. Because it makes them sound like a nonsense daydreamer. When I go to school, I hear the same conversation everyday. It's rather surreal. Sports, weather, grades. Sports, weather, grades.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm the only person that's real.

 

[missjesss]

Minty

I totally can relate there I feel like I am just different and alot more real then most ppl I hate meaningless mind chatter it completely bores me I think thats why I was a tomboy when I was younger I preferred to hang out with guys and be more active I just click better with guys girls seem to talk about absolute rubish

 

[Minty]

Yeah, lol. I remember I had nothing but boy friends in kindergarten because I could relate to them better. All the girls in my class wanted to talk and I just wanted to play. But then I had a bad experience and lost all of my friends. And was pretty much a loner throughout the rest of my school days with the occasional short-term friendship here and there.

I basically only have friends that are girls now because girls are a lot more likely to initiate friendships with me and I'm too shy to start a friendship myself. Guys just...avoid me.

 

[Untamed88]

Every so often I go on these stupid work team-building type things and everyone gets along and I sit at the end on my own. I feel so shut out and awkward. I hate every second of it.
I don't really click with anyone. Even when my mum, who I love and get on really well with, takes me shopping I panic about how our conversations will go before she arrives.
Basically before any interaction I am very conscious of how I am going to keep up the conversation.

 

[Feathers]

hm, I try to find something I like about people, even if they are not my type.. I also try to find some 'common interests' (that may sometimes be easier than other times) It helps to be interested in a lot of things..
I think if given time I can find almost everyone and everything fascinating...

Not a fan of football either, or most other sports... Though in a way it's interesting to learn about new things too, for example, I will admire someone who is sportsy, and ask how much they practise etc.

I usually try to find what makes the other person 'tick' and what they find interesting, their interests or plans or such...

tooshy, it really depends where you work and what kind of people you work with too!! in some jobs, it was preferred 'not' to socialize!! OoO

a lot of things can start with the weather and then if both are interested develop into a more interesting conversation.. It's usually easier in privacy and 1:1 though..

 

[da_illest101]

I hate that too since i don't click with most people. They want to have a conversation, i just want to end it lol

 

[Phoenixx]

I'm definitely with you on this too. Very rarely do I ever find someone I just "click with". I do try to find some common interests with other people and make an effort to socialize, but sometimes it just doesn't work. Sometimes you just meet those people that are completely opposite from you that you just don't feel comfortable around.

Yeah, lol. I remember I had nothing but boy friends in kindergarten because I could relate to them better. All the girls in my class wanted to talk and I just wanted to play. But then I had a bad experience and lost all of my friends. And was pretty much a loner throughout the rest of my school days with the occasional short-term friendship here and there.

I basically only have friends that are girls now because girls are a lot more likely to initiate friendships with me and I'm too shy to start a friendship myself. Guys just...avoid me.

^ I was the same way in elementary school. I always had boy friends cuz I could always relate to them way better than I could with girls. Now in high school, I mostly have friends that are girls because most guys just avoid me as well :/