upndwn
Well-known member
I don't know if it's just me imagining things, but lately I've become aware of a sort of sublime social hierarchy within my circle of friends.
I may loose my apartment soon, because my landlord has sold his house. Some friends of mine was talking about renting a house together and I said that I would be interested in joining. When I spoke to the friend who told me this she seemed fine with it, but later when most of us were gathered and talking about this, they totally ignored me when I told them how exited I was to move in with them, and they gave some quick remarks about how nothing had been decided yet. They were basically four people and they had room for a fifth. I was the first one they told about this, but now they acted as if they hadn't told me anything. Then another friend of theirs arrived, one I didn't know well. Suddenly they were all talking about how they wanted her to take the last spot even though I was right in front of them. Again i tried to state my case since they had asked me first, but they just ignored me and continued trying to convince her.
The next day I met the last person who was in on the house deal, and she was the one who had told me about it in the first place, she was also the one who had found the house. I told her if they were still interested in having me there but she said that she was skeptical because I didn't have a job and she didn't know my sleep patterns (as if that should matter). I had made it really clear that money was no issue so wether I worked or not shouldn't be a problem. She then said that since I didn't have a car she was skeptical (even though only one of the other three had a car and the bus stop was a 5 minute walk from the house). I quickly realized that no matter what I said, they were not interested in having me there so I have given up on it.
After this I have realized that this isn't the first time I've been blown off because of social prejudices within my circle of friends. I had hoped that friendship meant more than social accomplishments, but I guess they're afraid of loosing face if others see them affiliated with someone who is, in their eyes, lower on the social ladder. I feel ostracized and hurt because these are people I counted as really close friends and I have known them for years. It's like when I was younger and popular people would pretend to like you only to publicly humiliate you for their amusement later on. All those memories of being bullied and left on the outside when I was younger returned. Maybe I read to much into this and that I had set my expectations to high, but I can't help but wonder what other things I may have missed out on because I wasn't popular enough in their eyes.
I may loose my apartment soon, because my landlord has sold his house. Some friends of mine was talking about renting a house together and I said that I would be interested in joining. When I spoke to the friend who told me this she seemed fine with it, but later when most of us were gathered and talking about this, they totally ignored me when I told them how exited I was to move in with them, and they gave some quick remarks about how nothing had been decided yet. They were basically four people and they had room for a fifth. I was the first one they told about this, but now they acted as if they hadn't told me anything. Then another friend of theirs arrived, one I didn't know well. Suddenly they were all talking about how they wanted her to take the last spot even though I was right in front of them. Again i tried to state my case since they had asked me first, but they just ignored me and continued trying to convince her.
The next day I met the last person who was in on the house deal, and she was the one who had told me about it in the first place, she was also the one who had found the house. I told her if they were still interested in having me there but she said that she was skeptical because I didn't have a job and she didn't know my sleep patterns (as if that should matter). I had made it really clear that money was no issue so wether I worked or not shouldn't be a problem. She then said that since I didn't have a car she was skeptical (even though only one of the other three had a car and the bus stop was a 5 minute walk from the house). I quickly realized that no matter what I said, they were not interested in having me there so I have given up on it.
After this I have realized that this isn't the first time I've been blown off because of social prejudices within my circle of friends. I had hoped that friendship meant more than social accomplishments, but I guess they're afraid of loosing face if others see them affiliated with someone who is, in their eyes, lower on the social ladder. I feel ostracized and hurt because these are people I counted as really close friends and I have known them for years. It's like when I was younger and popular people would pretend to like you only to publicly humiliate you for their amusement later on. All those memories of being bullied and left on the outside when I was younger returned. Maybe I read to much into this and that I had set my expectations to high, but I can't help but wonder what other things I may have missed out on because I wasn't popular enough in their eyes.
