KevVversion1
Active member
I don't agree with this.
From the age of 17-25 I never went out other than one 3 year job where I remained mute. I never craved social contact, I actually created my own little world at home. I was creative, I made my own entertainment - I used my imagination, I did drawings and created things I couldnt even begin to describe on here. I do none of those things anymore, I eventually had a feeling I was wasting my life and from the age of 25 until now I have been building a "normal" life. Overall, am I happier? probably not, I actually miss those days sometimes.
Although I sometimes join in socially at work, on balance it still brings me more woes than joys. Rarely am I relaxed, even if I am chatting and appearing to have fun, inside I'm not thinking "whoa fun fun fun" I'm thinking "Wow, I may actually appear slightly cool after that remark" - isnt social contact more about social acceptence? obviously social contact isnt benificial if we are not accepted, the goal is to be accepted. If the goal is to be accepted then isnt the whole thing just an ego boost - doesnt that make any social gathering a competition??? even though people are being nice most of the time, I find everybody is competing to be the funniest, or to be the most intelligent, or to have the best story or dare I say the most confident, most bravest or sometimes even the strongest, most manliest - everybody is trying to prove something which is why I feel like most social gathering for the sake of just chatting is one big fake performance by everybody in it - to be honest the fun I get is in sitting there watching everybody be a slave to this, and seeing how some people have perfected there little act and then there are those that try desperatly to join in but remain on the fringe, I am now literally silent in most gatherings over 3/4 for the reason that I don't care enough about this crap to actually bother raising my voice to compete for "stage time" with these morons - you know when these people walk through their front door, they are different people - they dont chat, chat, chat just for the sake of having something to say - they are just normal people that do the same as all of us - only difference is that they have perfected their little social performance through sheer practise - I doubt they even realise they are doing it. Ok, you could say I'm saying this because I'm not that good at these little social games. One on One with somebody I am usually fine, because most people change completly when they are on their own, they no longer try to impress and are just down to earth people that actually chat about real things rather than all the name dropping, bitching and ribbing etc that goes on in these social gatherings. I'm pretty sure most people consider me boring because I refuse to talk about people behind their backs, I go silent when people mention any names, and I rarely get involved in ribbing although sometimes even I cant resist that. I prefer to think of clever one liners that dont offend anybody - but nobody usually laughs so fuck em. If I get called boring I have a few responses to that, firstly only boring people get bored, I can sit on my own for hours and never get bored - I have a brain, so I use it. I find these people that chat a lot - get bored very easily, and after 20 seconds silence will say "I'm bored" - again, if they are bored by me that is their problem, who exactly am I here to entertain??? that kinda proves people are expected to join in this little show and act like little social puppets. Also have you noticed in these social gathering, if they is more than 10 seconds silence somebody will sually say "it's gone quiet" as if "oh no whose turned off the tv - somebody entertain me" whereas I'm thinking "thank fuck for that - now everybody join me and enjoy some beautiful peace and quiet" but unfortunatly most people dont understand the concept that you can quite happily be in somebodies company and not have to talk - when talking is forced it gets annoying, talk if there is something to say, if not who fucking cares. I have seriously reached the stage where I dont give a flying fuck anymore, I know I'm shit socially, I know I go quiet for long periods - and the only thing you can do is accept it, its part of you, theres nothing actually wrong in it so why punish yourself? these days I rarely feel the need to talk anyway and in fact even if I am with people I am 100% comfortable with I am chosing not to talk purely because I dont actually have much to say to them, my mum actually annoys me so much by talking non stop that I think I just have a mental block on all chatting, I just dont think to bother listening when somebody is chatting because my mother has jibbered away constantly in my ear regardless of wether I respond since the day I was born. It's actually amazing what you can DO without having to talk - life is about doing things not chatting about them.
If your suggesting I would NEED human contact then from the point of view of being the only man left on planet earth (although I have considered this and would definatly have a good few months) then obviosuly long term I would NEED other people, even if you watch TV or go on the internet you are satisfying a small need for social contact, so if you take all those things away - yes I'm struggling so if that is what you mean by social contact, basically just living alongside other people and co-exsisting in society - YES that is true and benificial to everybody, but if you are trying to suggest I have a fundemental need to join in with these little pantomine social gatherings I think your wrong - sure I've tried to join in on them, sometimes I've suceeded and it feels good, but only from an ego standpoint - so if I had the social skills to suceed more often I'm sure I could feel good about it, but I dont believe it is a need - I think I can feed my ego just as much by opting out of it all - which is what I've just done here and is what I can sit there and quite happily think the next time I am forced to observe one of these charades.
From the age of 17-25 I never went out other than one 3 year job where I remained mute. I never craved social contact, I actually created my own little world at home. I was creative, I made my own entertainment - I used my imagination, I did drawings and created things I couldnt even begin to describe on here. I do none of those things anymore, I eventually had a feeling I was wasting my life and from the age of 25 until now I have been building a "normal" life. Overall, am I happier? probably not, I actually miss those days sometimes.
Although I sometimes join in socially at work, on balance it still brings me more woes than joys. Rarely am I relaxed, even if I am chatting and appearing to have fun, inside I'm not thinking "whoa fun fun fun" I'm thinking "Wow, I may actually appear slightly cool after that remark" - isnt social contact more about social acceptence? obviously social contact isnt benificial if we are not accepted, the goal is to be accepted. If the goal is to be accepted then isnt the whole thing just an ego boost - doesnt that make any social gathering a competition??? even though people are being nice most of the time, I find everybody is competing to be the funniest, or to be the most intelligent, or to have the best story or dare I say the most confident, most bravest or sometimes even the strongest, most manliest - everybody is trying to prove something which is why I feel like most social gathering for the sake of just chatting is one big fake performance by everybody in it - to be honest the fun I get is in sitting there watching everybody be a slave to this, and seeing how some people have perfected there little act and then there are those that try desperatly to join in but remain on the fringe, I am now literally silent in most gatherings over 3/4 for the reason that I don't care enough about this crap to actually bother raising my voice to compete for "stage time" with these morons - you know when these people walk through their front door, they are different people - they dont chat, chat, chat just for the sake of having something to say - they are just normal people that do the same as all of us - only difference is that they have perfected their little social performance through sheer practise - I doubt they even realise they are doing it. Ok, you could say I'm saying this because I'm not that good at these little social games. One on One with somebody I am usually fine, because most people change completly when they are on their own, they no longer try to impress and are just down to earth people that actually chat about real things rather than all the name dropping, bitching and ribbing etc that goes on in these social gatherings. I'm pretty sure most people consider me boring because I refuse to talk about people behind their backs, I go silent when people mention any names, and I rarely get involved in ribbing although sometimes even I cant resist that. I prefer to think of clever one liners that dont offend anybody - but nobody usually laughs so fuck em. If I get called boring I have a few responses to that, firstly only boring people get bored, I can sit on my own for hours and never get bored - I have a brain, so I use it. I find these people that chat a lot - get bored very easily, and after 20 seconds silence will say "I'm bored" - again, if they are bored by me that is their problem, who exactly am I here to entertain??? that kinda proves people are expected to join in this little show and act like little social puppets. Also have you noticed in these social gathering, if they is more than 10 seconds silence somebody will sually say "it's gone quiet" as if "oh no whose turned off the tv - somebody entertain me" whereas I'm thinking "thank fuck for that - now everybody join me and enjoy some beautiful peace and quiet" but unfortunatly most people dont understand the concept that you can quite happily be in somebodies company and not have to talk - when talking is forced it gets annoying, talk if there is something to say, if not who fucking cares. I have seriously reached the stage where I dont give a flying fuck anymore, I know I'm shit socially, I know I go quiet for long periods - and the only thing you can do is accept it, its part of you, theres nothing actually wrong in it so why punish yourself? these days I rarely feel the need to talk anyway and in fact even if I am with people I am 100% comfortable with I am chosing not to talk purely because I dont actually have much to say to them, my mum actually annoys me so much by talking non stop that I think I just have a mental block on all chatting, I just dont think to bother listening when somebody is chatting because my mother has jibbered away constantly in my ear regardless of wether I respond since the day I was born. It's actually amazing what you can DO without having to talk - life is about doing things not chatting about them.
If your suggesting I would NEED human contact then from the point of view of being the only man left on planet earth (although I have considered this and would definatly have a good few months) then obviosuly long term I would NEED other people, even if you watch TV or go on the internet you are satisfying a small need for social contact, so if you take all those things away - yes I'm struggling so if that is what you mean by social contact, basically just living alongside other people and co-exsisting in society - YES that is true and benificial to everybody, but if you are trying to suggest I have a fundemental need to join in with these little pantomine social gatherings I think your wrong - sure I've tried to join in on them, sometimes I've suceeded and it feels good, but only from an ego standpoint - so if I had the social skills to suceed more often I'm sure I could feel good about it, but I dont believe it is a need - I think I can feed my ego just as much by opting out of it all - which is what I've just done here and is what I can sit there and quite happily think the next time I am forced to observe one of these charades.
