Social anxiety and the "need to perform"

[buggy]

Hey guys, I'm wondering if anyone else can identify with this issue and/or provide some words of help...

Basically, when meeting with people sometimes it happens that I'm feeling fine and things are going good but then when I'm noticing that others are liking my presence my mind goes into some kind of panic mode. Basically I suddenly realize that I'm doing "good" and have this urge to keep doing good and not mess things up by saying the "wrong" things and look stipod. Once this hits me I inevitably lock myself up because I'm focusing too much on what I'm doing and as such lose my natural personality. It is really freaking annoying and I feel it's completely ridiculous since the fact that I'm trying to be "better" actually works averse and makes me way too self conscious until the point that I get really awkward.

Does anyone else ever experience? Do you guys know things that work to reverse/get rid of this state and go back to my natural self? It really sucks because I'm feeling like I am sabotaging myself in a completely unnecessary way.

 

[jaim38]

Yes, I do this too. When I was younger, I was more spontaneous, more outspoken, and have more outbursts in front of people. But I hurt some people, because I said things that were mean and acted immaturely. So, afterwards, I decided to become a "better" person. I suppressed my instinct to talk, minimize my socialization with others, etc - basically do the opposite of what I did when I was younger. I became so socially awkward and phobic to the point where it backfired. So, I wasn't any better compared to many years ago, but I think people hate me more with my quiet attitude compared to in the past when I was a blabbermouth who lied a lot. Which is weird.

 

[buggy]

Yes, I do this too. When I was younger, I was more spontaneous, more outspoken, and have more outbursts in front of people. But I hurt some people, because I said things that were mean and acted immaturely. So, afterwards, I decided to become a "better" person. I suppressed my instinct to talk, minimize my socialization with others, etc - basically do the opposite of what I did when I was younger. I became so socially awkward and phobic to the point where it backfired. So, I wasn't any better compared to many years ago, but I think people hate me more with my quiet attitude compared to in the past when I was a blabbermouth who lied a lot. Which is weird.

That sounds very familiar... I sort of had problems as a kid and was teased and I could really be an annoying brat at the same time so I have this obsession with being "normal" and acting perfect so people will accept me. For what it's worth, people don't usually "hate" quiet people I've learned. I first thought that when I was quiet and didn't dare to talk people would laugh at me for being a freak but surprisingly a lot of people just don't hold against you unless you're being purposely rude or anything (which is a hard thing to do if you're quiet).