Social Anxiety and Aspergers

[hap3nes]

Hi, I'm new here and was wondering if any of you have been diagnosed with Aspergers either professionally or self-diagnosed. I find that I have a lot of the symptom of AS, but my social anxiety keeps me from really relating to the AS forums I have found online. At the same time, I feel like I'm not going to make any connections here on the SPW site because of my quirks and sometimes coldness, blank mind and lack of social skills that I have. I feel like I have really missed the boat when it comes to interacting and connecting with people, so I've become a target for people to pick on me and for me to become an outsider. I'm looking for a place where I can fit in, in the world. Just wondering if anyone can relate with Aspergers and having Social Anxiety.

 

[laure15]

I also think I have Asperger's and SA. I do very well in my classes but my only weakness is social skills, which is sub-par compared to everyone else's. In class, everyone else would socialize except me. I usually sit there alone and immersed in my own thoughts. In terms of facial expressions, I don't have many. My face usually has a neutral expression meaning I neither look angry nor happy. It's like putting on a Poker face, whether intended or not.

But there were times when my asperger symptoms "disappear" and I act "normal", for example at home and around friends and family. But in public and around strangers, I act very stiff, rigid, and even clumsy.

 

[hap3nes]

Thanks for responding laure15, it is nice to know that someone else is going through similar stuff that I am going through. I feel so alone but it sounds like we have some similar issues. I too put on a “poker face” whenever I go out, I have learned to 1. Hide my feelings very well. And 2. I just don’t have the emotions for them to show up on my face. I’m still trying to figure out if it is nature vs. nurture….probably a little of both, but there has to be one that had more of an influence than the other. Another way to look at it is SA vs. AS. Yesterday for example, I bought a bag of polished stones 18 of them. Before I went to bed, I pulled them out and looked at them counted them sorted them and resorted them held them in my hand. Going over the stones reminded me of when I was little and I would ‘choreograph’ dances with pennies. I would just move the pennies around in different formations over and over. This might not be AS in general, but I have so many quirks like counting my steps, inability to make changes in my routine. But I also experience some good traits like strong work ethic regardless that I don’t have a job right now, I am working on getting myself self-employed. But my special interest in woodworking and the attention to detail that that entails goes along with strengthening my AS tendency.

 

[I'm Not There]

I'm almost 100% certain that I have Asperger's, but I won't get a professional diagnosis because: 1. There's a 2-year waiting list 2. I'll probably spend all my life savings paying for it 3. It technically doesn't exist anymore, it's just a certain form of autism now 4. No one will understand if I tell them, they'll just say "Oh, almost anyone has their own little autistic traits!".

There are lots of reasons why I think I might have Asperger's. First of all, my dad has it, and it's often said that Asperger's is hereditary. He's also self-diagnosed but it's quite obvious if you know the symptoms. As a child, I was extremely interested in space travel, not really what you'd expect of a 6 year old... I've always had an eye for details, when I was 4 for example I used to notice how the grains of rice on my dinner plate were forming letters. I could also read at the age of 4, without anyone having taught me how.

I'm a 23-year old virgin with close to no friends. I'm always submerged in my own thoughts. I've never had the feeling that I really connect with someone. I hardly ever smile, I also think I've never been angry at someone. I'm unable to show empathy, e.g. when someone died or something bad has happened. I could go on with this for quite a while...