I just realized something about myself. I've been a loner for most of my life, and I've always attributed this to my social anxiety. However, I asked myself today, if my social anxiety is gone, would I still be a loner? To my surprise, the answer is yes. I think the reason why is because I have a lack of interest in other people, aka social anhedonia.
Anhedonia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
You know how some people can't experience sexual pleasure due to illness, injury, or some other reason? Well, in a similar vein, people with social anhedonia don't experience pleasure during social interactions. It's not because they don't want to, it's just that they can't.
Social anhedonia and SA are different but related disorders (see wiki article).
Social anhedonia would certainly explain why I lack close friends and intimate relationships, and why I have a decreased need for social interactions. And I find it very hard to smile at people, even close ones. I do like observing people, in real life, movies, videos, etc, but interacting with them gives me little or no pleasure. So there's no motivation to succeed in social events, except to get a job.
Over the past few months, I've put myself out there. I've spoken with strangers over the phone and Skype and interacted more with family members. But I still feel there's something missing. You would think that the more social interaction I am exposed to, the more I yearn for it, but that's not the case at all.
Note: the only exception to all of the above is online interaction, which I crave. Online is where I'm happier, helpful, caring, more motivated, etc.
Anhedonia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
You know how some people can't experience sexual pleasure due to illness, injury, or some other reason? Well, in a similar vein, people with social anhedonia don't experience pleasure during social interactions. It's not because they don't want to, it's just that they can't.
Social anhedonia and SA are different but related disorders (see wiki article).
Social anhedonia would certainly explain why I lack close friends and intimate relationships, and why I have a decreased need for social interactions. And I find it very hard to smile at people, even close ones. I do like observing people, in real life, movies, videos, etc, but interacting with them gives me little or no pleasure. So there's no motivation to succeed in social events, except to get a job.
Over the past few months, I've put myself out there. I've spoken with strangers over the phone and Skype and interacted more with family members. But I still feel there's something missing. You would think that the more social interaction I am exposed to, the more I yearn for it, but that's not the case at all.
Note: the only exception to all of the above is online interaction, which I crave. Online is where I'm happier, helpful, caring, more motivated, etc.