So where does your social phobia come from? do you know?
- Thread starter Nadine333
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corrinaelizabeth
Well-known member
i have no idea where mine comes from i think being bullied didnt help much tho lol
Nadine333
Well-known member
for me I think I know where my social phobia comes from, im just wondering if.... because i think i know where it came from maybe others do..... and if they do they could perhaps deal with where it comes from... and maybe then you will get better????????????????????????? ?
Mary
Well-known member
I think mine is hereditary. My dad has it, and his mom had a form of illness I'm not sure what its called but had to do w/thinking she was sick all the time when she wasn't.
I had my first panick attack because of high stress in my life, I had just changed schools and was being made fun of, plus my dad decided that was the time to start hitting me and threatening me on a daily basis. I think all that triggered it, but I think I allways had it maybe just never came to the surface before then.
I had my first panick attack because of high stress in my life, I had just changed schools and was being made fun of, plus my dad decided that was the time to start hitting me and threatening me on a daily basis. I think all that triggered it, but I think I allways had it maybe just never came to the surface before then.
corrinaelizabeth
Well-known member
awwwww hun course ur not a bad person we all just need to re train r thoughts and thinking patterns easier said than done!!!!!keep trying tho never give up!!! :lol:
Nadine333
Well-known member
Me this evening Im looking for a deep conversation, I want to understand why, why do we beat our selves up so much. I mean me, my opinion Im sure i would find some one in here funny, Im sure id find some one in here good looking, me im sure id find some one in here who is kind, me im sure id find someone in here who would be a fantastic friend ALL GREAT QUALITYS MIGHT I ADD. So why arnt we confident about our good trates??? why hasnt this cured those people who are these things
hiya Nadine333.... i've never really had any therapy..but, i would guess....my anxiety and social phobia come from a loud...overbearing..bullying mother....and being bullied for years on school bus...although i try not to dwell on these things too much...it is good to try to learn why we are the way we are :roll:Nadine333 said:
I don't know exactly where it came from, but I know for sure I have it since my earliest childhood. I have extremely clear memories of when I was three years old and already I would avoid other kids, worry about being "rejected" or made fun of and all the other typical feelings of SP, plus I felt sad all the time. I suppose it must have something to do with the way I was brought up by my mum in my very earliest years. She was very insecure and not loving at all. Otherwise it must be genetic, but it doesn't seem like a very likely explanation
It got worse with time, until a peak maybe three or four years ago when I was about twenty. Since then I have been experiencing a very slow improvement, but I don't expect to ever get rid of this completely.
It got worse with time, until a peak maybe three or four years ago when I was about twenty. Since then I have been experiencing a very slow improvement, but I don't expect to ever get rid of this completely.
nattykins
Member
I've lately been thinking of where mine came from...Me and my bf think we've got it figured out.
When I was in grade 11, my dad was put in prison for doing something stupid (obviously lol). I lived in a small town where gossip is the only thing that keeps it alive so I always felt that everywhere I went, everyone was talking about me.
I started to hide behind my bf at the time who was very social and everyone loved him. After a while of that, I got into the mindset that all my friends only liked me because of my bf and I started to loosen my ties...and it went from there..
When I was in grade 11, my dad was put in prison for doing something stupid (obviously lol). I lived in a small town where gossip is the only thing that keeps it alive so I always felt that everywhere I went, everyone was talking about me.
I started to hide behind my bf at the time who was very social and everyone loved him. After a while of that, I got into the mindset that all my friends only liked me because of my bf and I started to loosen my ties...and it went from there..
I've been thinking about this since I knew I had SP. I think about my childhood experience and don't seem I can find any clue. My parents and brother are very good to me. It could be hereditary also. Cause my mom used to worry and have lots of thoughts in her mind, she often complained about it, that she couldn't sleep cause worrying many things.
PhantomPod
Well-known member
I was just born this way! Ever since I can remember I've been very shy and a huge introvert. I was never really bullied by other kids in school or anything like that. I guess it was just more of me bullying myself and thinking too much and carrying to much what other people might be thinking of me.
my mother does have schizophrenia, and so i thought of her as the root of all my problems. i used to be a really talkative kid back in my home country; had a bunch of friends, everyone loved hanging out with me, but everything changed when i moved here. and, that's when i started considering that it was something that i got from my mom.
anyways, i'm tired of all these scapegoats. i've realised that i did this all to myself, and i feel right now at this point of life that i need changes. here i go talking too much again.. i'll end it here.
anyways, i'm tired of all these scapegoats. i've realised that i did this all to myself, and i feel right now at this point of life that i need changes. here i go talking too much again.. i'll end it here.
Horatio
Well-known member
Warning: this post is filled of the raw honesty and the truth that we all try to hide from ourselves. please do not read on if you are feeling vulnerable to the truth, are easily offended or dont feel like thinking about a serious topic. P.S. Sorry for the swearing, Im lonely, cold and fucked off
I know what caused my socialphobia.. I deserved it and it was always going to happen to me. it is just the way things are, it is genetic
I wasnt born without social abilities but my physical genes were always going to make me destined to be alone and fragile
I was tiny at school and went through puberty really late. I am a runt, an outcast, too weak. As with all things in nature, the weak are turned on by the powerful and so it was that all conspired against me.
Guys who were sometimes nearly twice my size pummelled me into the ground. I deserved it for I was and still are genetically inferior. My role in the world is to die so my genes dont get passed on.
If people like me were accepted, had friends, met girls and had sex then my inferior genes would be passed on and humanity will fail. The only reason humans exceeded past other creatures was because we are superior. Superior genes succeed, inferior genes are stamped out.
Girls role in this world is to be attractive enough to get fucked, to be fit enough to carry and deliver child and then be resourceful enough to look after it.
Guy's role in this world is to fuck other guys over and be the one that fucks as many girls as possible. This way the superior genes spread faster than the inferior ones which die out.
Elephant males kill each other with tusks so the stronger one passes on his seed, Lions claw each other to death so they can fuck the females and likewise human males are designed to do everything they can to prove their superiority over others.
that is why most girls favour strong confident arrogant jerks (although most girls will never admit it) this is also why most girls have negative experiences with guys (because they always go for jerks)
girls, this is why guys fuck you around. they dont care about you, their job is to get you pregnant and then try and get another girl pregnant so their seed reigns supreme. the only thing that tries to constrain this is the tatty remains of our social code.
I have socialphobia because according to nature I am inferior. Girls look at me with disgust because I am not worthy to fuck them and guys fuck me over to increase their fuck points with girls. if guys like me were confident then the world would be filled with weak pathetic nothings
sure sure, all of the above is a bit of a generalisation and doesnt cover the huge range of exceptions and other factors but that is the guts of it
I do not write these rules nor do I like them but Im afraid this is just the way it is
I guess my hope lies in the belief that maybe I can exist in this world without being part of the fucked up humanity system. maybe with enough like minded individuals we can play this game without its fucked up rules and maybe we will have a better experience than those trapped by their own "superiority"
sorry for being a depressed fuck, this is just how I feel
I know what caused my socialphobia.. I deserved it and it was always going to happen to me. it is just the way things are, it is genetic
I wasnt born without social abilities but my physical genes were always going to make me destined to be alone and fragile
I was tiny at school and went through puberty really late. I am a runt, an outcast, too weak. As with all things in nature, the weak are turned on by the powerful and so it was that all conspired against me.
Guys who were sometimes nearly twice my size pummelled me into the ground. I deserved it for I was and still are genetically inferior. My role in the world is to die so my genes dont get passed on.
If people like me were accepted, had friends, met girls and had sex then my inferior genes would be passed on and humanity will fail. The only reason humans exceeded past other creatures was because we are superior. Superior genes succeed, inferior genes are stamped out.
Girls role in this world is to be attractive enough to get fucked, to be fit enough to carry and deliver child and then be resourceful enough to look after it.
Guy's role in this world is to fuck other guys over and be the one that fucks as many girls as possible. This way the superior genes spread faster than the inferior ones which die out.
Elephant males kill each other with tusks so the stronger one passes on his seed, Lions claw each other to death so they can fuck the females and likewise human males are designed to do everything they can to prove their superiority over others.
that is why most girls favour strong confident arrogant jerks (although most girls will never admit it) this is also why most girls have negative experiences with guys (because they always go for jerks)
girls, this is why guys fuck you around. they dont care about you, their job is to get you pregnant and then try and get another girl pregnant so their seed reigns supreme. the only thing that tries to constrain this is the tatty remains of our social code.
I have socialphobia because according to nature I am inferior. Girls look at me with disgust because I am not worthy to fuck them and guys fuck me over to increase their fuck points with girls. if guys like me were confident then the world would be filled with weak pathetic nothings
sure sure, all of the above is a bit of a generalisation and doesnt cover the huge range of exceptions and other factors but that is the guts of it
I do not write these rules nor do I like them but Im afraid this is just the way it is
I guess my hope lies in the belief that maybe I can exist in this world without being part of the fucked up humanity system. maybe with enough like minded individuals we can play this game without its fucked up rules and maybe we will have a better experience than those trapped by their own "superiority"
sorry for being a depressed fuck, this is just how I feel
I did some hard thinking last week about it and I have two possibilites:
1. When I was about 13, I stole a fire extinguisher and went in some bushes and fired it at some houses. Then some 16 year old came to me later that night and beat the shit out of me saying I gave some old lady a heart attack, then I lost all my friends because of it. Started getting bullied everyday and being called a murderer. This lasted months, kept getting threated to get stabbed if I left the house. Then about 3 months later I see the old lady saying good morning to me when I was out, then I find out everyone had lied and I never even sprayed anyone or gave anyone a heart attack.
Or the other possibility is:
2. My mums boyfriend always used to beat me when I was a kid, and paid people not to like me when my mum split up with him.
I am leaning on the 1st one but I'd like to think it was the 2nd.
1. When I was about 13, I stole a fire extinguisher and went in some bushes and fired it at some houses. Then some 16 year old came to me later that night and beat the shit out of me saying I gave some old lady a heart attack, then I lost all my friends because of it. Started getting bullied everyday and being called a murderer. This lasted months, kept getting threated to get stabbed if I left the house. Then about 3 months later I see the old lady saying good morning to me when I was out, then I find out everyone had lied and I never even sprayed anyone or gave anyone a heart attack.
Or the other possibility is:
2. My mums boyfriend always used to beat me when I was a kid, and paid people not to like me when my mum split up with him.
I am leaning on the 1st one but I'd like to think it was the 2nd.
Emetic
Member
I can name a few things that might've intensified the shyness/SA, but I personally think I was just born this way. My mother is mentioned a lot in this post, but I don't blame her for everything. She tried her best. She had her own problems at the time.
- My mother use to verbally abuse me when I was really young. Imagine being six years old and thinking you're a "big fat ugly pig" every time you had a messy room.
- My mother was very insecure with her appearance and I guess that rubbed off on me. People always told me I looked "just like her" so I naturally assumed every flaw she pointed out was a flaw I had as well. Weak chin, big nose, chipmunk cheeks, big goofy ears, bad teeth, fatness, etc. Now I can't even leave the house... and all I think about is getting plastic surgery.
- She hated socializing, but she was capable of doing it when she had to. She's actually a great conversationalist. That's the big difference between my mother and I. And I remember throughout my childhood the few times I'd muster up the courage to talk to someone, she'd tell me how "odd" that sentence sounded and how I should've said it a different way. She'd always tell me a certain way I said something came off rude or stupid when in actuality it was just different from the way she would say it. Hopefully that makes sense.
- I went to public school 6 years before I was homechooled. During that time I made very little friends, but the friends I did make lived miles away from me and the only way I could see them outside of school was for her to drive me over to their house. But she always made excuses. "We can't go over to their house because I'm busy (doing nothing), we don't have enough gas, the traffic is crazy, etc etc." She also didn't help me interact with other kids my age when I started homeschooling, which had a pretty big effect on me because I wasn't around kids my age for the 7 years that I was homeschooled. And when I was 16, she'd always make excuses as to why we couldn' go to the DMV to get my license, so I had to depend solely on her for transportation unless I wanted to walk in my bad neighborhood and get mugged.
- My public school used my learning disability for extra cash before I was homeschooled. Even when I made As in math, they kept me in that Special ED class for three extra years when I didn't need it. I always missed PE and some kids would make fun of me because I was "retarded". Now if you look at the school you'll notice it looks really good. Guess who helped them pay for that? Me.
- In kindergarden I had one teacher that only liked me because I was shy. She nurtured the shyness, I think, because it was one less kid to deal with. I think she's the reason I got chronically shy during the few years I did public schooling because I was rewarded for being shy. As each year passed, the shyer I got, until I started homeschooling and I never left the house at that point.
- Homeschooling, for me, was icing on the cake. That's when I never left the house. And I think my introverted lifestyle helped my mother because she didn't have to worry about raising the kids. We were always in our rooms with our eyes glued to the computer screens... and she could go off and do her own thing without worrying about us getting into trouble. I didn't make any friends from 6th grade to 12th grade... unless you count a few online friends.
- I was the only girl in the entire family. My brother and all my cousins called me fat and ugly and that only verified that my mother was right about me being a "fat ugly pig". I was too young to understand what my mother was doing was wrong, and that those boys were just being kids. By the way, I was never actually fat until my late teen years. It's almost like they turned me fat after all the years of being told I was fat. I think gaining weight also made my SA a lot worse.... to the point of suicide.
- My mother use to verbally abuse me when I was really young. Imagine being six years old and thinking you're a "big fat ugly pig" every time you had a messy room.
- My mother was very insecure with her appearance and I guess that rubbed off on me. People always told me I looked "just like her" so I naturally assumed every flaw she pointed out was a flaw I had as well. Weak chin, big nose, chipmunk cheeks, big goofy ears, bad teeth, fatness, etc. Now I can't even leave the house... and all I think about is getting plastic surgery.
- She hated socializing, but she was capable of doing it when she had to. She's actually a great conversationalist. That's the big difference between my mother and I. And I remember throughout my childhood the few times I'd muster up the courage to talk to someone, she'd tell me how "odd" that sentence sounded and how I should've said it a different way. She'd always tell me a certain way I said something came off rude or stupid when in actuality it was just different from the way she would say it. Hopefully that makes sense.
- I went to public school 6 years before I was homechooled. During that time I made very little friends, but the friends I did make lived miles away from me and the only way I could see them outside of school was for her to drive me over to their house. But she always made excuses. "We can't go over to their house because I'm busy (doing nothing), we don't have enough gas, the traffic is crazy, etc etc." She also didn't help me interact with other kids my age when I started homeschooling, which had a pretty big effect on me because I wasn't around kids my age for the 7 years that I was homeschooled. And when I was 16, she'd always make excuses as to why we couldn' go to the DMV to get my license, so I had to depend solely on her for transportation unless I wanted to walk in my bad neighborhood and get mugged.
- My public school used my learning disability for extra cash before I was homeschooled. Even when I made As in math, they kept me in that Special ED class for three extra years when I didn't need it. I always missed PE and some kids would make fun of me because I was "retarded". Now if you look at the school you'll notice it looks really good. Guess who helped them pay for that? Me.
- In kindergarden I had one teacher that only liked me because I was shy. She nurtured the shyness, I think, because it was one less kid to deal with. I think she's the reason I got chronically shy during the few years I did public schooling because I was rewarded for being shy. As each year passed, the shyer I got, until I started homeschooling and I never left the house at that point.
- Homeschooling, for me, was icing on the cake. That's when I never left the house. And I think my introverted lifestyle helped my mother because she didn't have to worry about raising the kids. We were always in our rooms with our eyes glued to the computer screens... and she could go off and do her own thing without worrying about us getting into trouble. I didn't make any friends from 6th grade to 12th grade... unless you count a few online friends.
- I was the only girl in the entire family. My brother and all my cousins called me fat and ugly and that only verified that my mother was right about me being a "fat ugly pig". I was too young to understand what my mother was doing was wrong, and that those boys were just being kids. By the way, I was never actually fat until my late teen years. It's almost like they turned me fat after all the years of being told I was fat. I think gaining weight also made my SA a lot worse.... to the point of suicide.