So I was supposed to begin my new (first ever) job today

[pink_elephants]

I got up in the morning. Got all dressed up. Went down the street. stood outside the store for about 10 minutes, then got back home.
Now there's no turning back and - needless to say - I hate myself. I feel sorry for myself and I don't know what's next.

When I was walking down the street, I felt so miserable. Useless. Pathetic. Fat. Ugly. Plus it was supposed to be a really cool job, in a photography shop.
But I was just unable to even get into the store it because of SA.

I'm a girl and I live in Israel and I don't know what's going to be with me in the army (we have to do it) on July.
And how on earth will I ever start a job if I haven't experienced nothing?
I wanted this job so bad. It's just not right.
And the worst thing is that nobody (except you guys) can understand what I was feeling standing there outside the store.

 

[JonnyD]

the first time i went to a job interview i did the same, i couldn't enter the place...

the second one i leave after a test week, i didn't wanted to know the tests result.. i knew i blewed that away because i couldn't make a thing without messing everything up , it was a kind of lab and i don't have still hands naturally, but when i got very nervous i look like someone with parkinson...

in the third attempt, i made an interview and the guy toldme - you are sure very shy, huh? - i thought: "i'm screwed, i want to go away...", but strangely i got the job - that guy sure needed me at the time.

4 year , 5 interviews , 3 jobs later... I can only say you need to try, the more you try , the easier it get... and i didn't knew what was SA in the time, i just tryed, screwed up things, realized things, learned.

Now i can take 3 job interviews a day, but i still afraid to buy my own clothes... this is my SA world

i just write it all to say: Don't let it take you down, i know you can do it!

 

[Argamemnon]

I'm sorry to hear that you couldn't overcome your fears. I perfectly understand. I'm in a similar position, tomorrow (monday) I have a job interview. If I'm accepted, I have the chance to work as an archive worker (hope that's the correct term). But I know I can't go.. I feel suicidal.

 

[Psilopa]

I'm a girl and I live in Israel and I don't know what's going to be with me in the army (we have to do it) on July.

I did my army time without any problems despite having pretty bad SA. Not in Israel though, but in another country with compulsory military service. I haven't really thought about it before, but I think a few factor helped.

1. The fatigue. Tired people aren't very social, no matter what, and you will not stand out.
2. The strict command structure
3. The fact that people from many levels of society served together. In these conditions it's only natural that everyone isn't pals with everyone else.
4. There's really only one way to lose the position of 'one of us' in the army, and that is being the person who always fucks up. Shut up & follow orders and everyone will love you. The other grunts may not realise this during the first few weeks, but they will learn. It helps to be in reasonable physical shape in from the very start. No need to be the fastest or strongest - just don't the the last woman in line.