so frusterated

[LazyHermitCrab]

With my job.... It's like most "normal" people can get used to people after a couple weeks. It's been seven months and i can only talk when spoken to and my conversations don't flow normally at all because i say the first thing i can think of. I think this person at work feels bad for me and gives me that look where someone thinks you depressed or something. I'm not depressed but im too scared or something to talk to them. I want to look happy but one of them seems to be too oberservant of fake smiling so its difficult. It's emotionally draining when i'm the only quiet one there. On the way to work i have the music blasting but when i leave the car i just seem so boring. After work that awkward feeling lurks for like ten minutes. I usually work in whatever corner there is noone, but it's impossible to avoid everyone the entire shift. If i do talk first it sounds so forced it's unbearable lol. I guess just wanted to say stuff. That's all ::

 

[Toomuchfear]

I understand completely. Where do you work, it sounds like a store?

I find it annoying when other staff members get on so well, even if they've just met. I feel like I am standing there awkwardly trying to make conversation and then I say something strange and everyone giving me funny looks.

Just remember these people aren't 'normal' they are just more socially experienced than you and I. They've grown up with good social role models, that is all. They probably have quirks and flaws too, but are not so obvious. It's good to know that at least someone feels bad for you, I have had experience when it felt I had no-one gives a damn about me.

Force yourself to make tiny steps, it doesn't matter how tiny, as long as it's progress. Try to talk to them. "Hi". "How are you today". "I can't wait to listen to my new CD on the way home" "Reckon it will be busy today?" These questions may seem unnatural and forced, but keep practising until you've find what works for you. At first you make get a surprised reaction, but that is simply because they are not used to you coming out your shell a bit.

I've hoped this has helped in some way. Good Luck.