Shyness and sarcasm

[Clog]

Do you often find that, as a shy person, you often use sarcasm if you do risk talking to people? I am terrible for it. I had a badminton practice after school one day as I have my practical exam coming up soon and as I was packing away my teacher was reminding me that Monday period 5 I need to be etc etc and al lthe details and i make a sarcastic comment back like: 'I can hardly contain my excitement'.

I've enver seen anyone look so shocked at seeing sarcasm come from my mouth - yet I seem to use it all the time, and my friends who are shy also seem to use it.

Do you think sarcasm and shyness, in some cases, go hand-in-hand with one another?

 

[nimrodel]

Wow, that is so weird. I only know like one other shy person, but he's extremely sarcastic, just like me. I'm also really cynical, so I'm wondering if anyone else is like that? Most people think that just because you're shy, you have to be nice and friendly all the time, but it's interesting that it's not always the case.

 

[Quixote]

Being sarcastic is the easiest way of giving the impression of self confidence when one is too nervous to act in a more convincing way, and the only alternative seems to be the typical SP-silence and the icy atmosphere it brings about. Too bad it has this side effect of sometimes spoiling human relations a bit, as nobody likes being answered in a sarcastic manner (imagine if they do it to you, it can be really unpleasant). Also, because it is the easiest way of acting confident, it's also one of the easiest to tell for other people.

I used to do it a lot myself in any case, but not as much in later years, as I realized the damage it can cause is greater then the very tiny benefit of helping with the occasional moment of embarrassment. I prefer to say dull things nowadays, rather than trying to be sarcastic. Obviously I still do, at times. And of course if you have a tendency to sarcastic humour, or to comment sarcastically on everyday things.. that's fine. What should be avoided in my opinion is the (ab)use of it for the purpose of fixing a situation of anxiety.

 

[COALPORTER]

Yes, i'm very sarcastic when people try to talk to me, which isn't very
often. I find when i'm sarcastic it makes me feel like i'm tougher and noone to mess with. I don't know why i do this instead of trying to be nice. It's not a way to make friends.
Sometimes, I try to say something nice, but people just look at me
wierd anyway.

 

[ozkr]

I think the sarcasm thing comes down to insecurity. I feel bad about being very sarcastic because I don't say sarcastic things to feel better or more secure but to make others feel like insecure, almost as if I was trying to bring them down to my level. I also use it to hide my true feelings about something.

I've become very intolerant of sarcasm lately ,either used by me or said by others and after analizing myself I came to the conclusion I'm very freaking annoying and use sarcasm for everything. But I also realize that sarcasm gets in the way of communication, and when one of your goals is to try to communicate more and in a better way,it's just useless.
One thing I've been trying to do lately is to answer questions directly, even if the question is very stupid or sarcastic, or the answer seems obvious. Also , if someone is sarcastic,instead of getting into a little "sarcasm war" or getting pissed ,I just ignore it.
For example ,I go from this:
Person: Where are the spoons? Have you seen the spoons?
Old Me(circa 2003): They are in the freezer obviously because I never put the spoons in the spoon drawer.

to this:
Person: Have you seen the spoon?
New Me: They are in the spoon drawer.

Tada! I must be honest : it's kind of hard! Just like trying to talk to people .

 

[cherish]

haha the spoon example makes me laugh.I've done this alot too as a defense when I am nervous and people would end up thinking i'm a jerk. I think working on self-esteem can help you relax more in situations and not have to rely on sarcasm or other things.

 

[appletree]

hahahahaha!
oh dear, i am sarcastic all the time!
some people don't get it and think i'm being rude.
nice to know i am not the only one who is really sarcastic.

 

[rado31]

I m ironic , sarcastic, think that this part of charachter i owe to reading
of some comic when i was younger. There is enormous ammount of sarcasm in it .

Some says it is the weapon of weak. I wouldnt really agree on that, which of course doesnt mean vice versa.

 

[laurynlove]

Im very shy and I'm VERY sarcastic, I'm basically one of those people that never has anything REAL to say but only makes jokes of everything. I'm terrible for it, truly! I have a little bit of low self confidence leading to being shy and sarcastic .

 

[TAMPA-BAY]

Scarcasm

I dont see any connection betwene the two. I see lost of out going types who are sarcastic.

I only use it as humor and with people who I know really well. Other wise it will be taken the wrong. People who dont know you will take it the wrong way.

 

[teddiesgirlfriend]

Sarcasm : ]

 

[piper23]

Ya I like to use sarcasm around people. Actually, they prefer it when I am! It means I am talking. 8) LOL, as long as you are not that mean with it, people like being able to joke, especially with a quiet or shy person. It breaks the ice, makes it easier all the way around.

I guess there is one exception...I am pretty sarcastic with my BIL...and am not too nice about it tee hee...but it's only because he started it!!

 

[Carstuar]

I try to be sarcastic without appearing hostile. Usually I can make my friends laugh, instead of insulting them. (A playful tone of voice helps)
But, yeah, I agree that it's a way to seem more confident when you're actually very shy.
When I manage to talk to strangers, I'm more careful.

 

[kristle]

definitely!

 

[IWouldPreferNotTo]

I used to be sarcastic all the time until I realized that it annoyed people, so I stopped doing it so much. Excessive sarcasm reflects poor social skills. I've noticed it in other shy people. I'll be talking to them, just asking them general questions, and they'll repeatedly be sarcastic and you can't really go any where with the conversation. It's a conversation killer.