Should I go back to college?

[forksandspoons]

I went to college and tried to fight through the anxiety. I made it my first year ok. I attended class, and did my work, and well. But things changed my sophmore year. Things just kept getting worse and worse, and I couldn't leave my house. In some instance, even my room.

I am now a junior and Im still dealing with my anxiety. I miss class a lot. My professors don't know me. I sit in the back of class and never participate when I do go. My teachers probably all think I am just some punk slacker kid who doesn't care, but it is not true.

I feel as if I am wasting my parents money, and my own, as we split the price. My Dad is very ignorant to what people like us deal with and he gets mad at me for "slacking off". He doesn't understand why I skip class. Its because I feel I can't leave my house. I go entire days without eating because I prefer starvation over facing society.

My grades are in the toilet, and fear that I will just fall back in to the same trend as I am in now if I go back. I don't like these grades reflecting me.

Sounds like I should just take a break right? Not so simple. I wish it were. I will be taken off of my Dads medical insurance if I am not a student and I need that to treat a condition I have. I will also have to start paying back loans, while I have no money, and am in no shape to hunt for a job.

 

[planemo]

Well for me I had a lot of issues when i started uni, and looking back i should have had the opportunity to resolve them before i made the commitment to study. I had a lot of insecurity about my looks and my physical appearance which along with severe OCD, led to a nervous breakdown basically.

In my time of distress i realised that i had very little energy to study. But I had to keep going on, coz i had no choice. I have a good rote memory, and I did well in theory subjects coz it required less attention yet i could score really well despite my problems. My emotional state however was catching up with me, and studying more difficult and more complicated subjects became impossible.

I'm not sure what you are studying, but if it's possible to lessen your load by studying only the subjects you feel comfortable with or require less effort than you should take it up. It doesn't matter how many years you take to finish, just finish your degree, and if it means stalling a few of your subjects for later on, then do it. If you do manage to lessen your load then you should take the time out, to sort out any issues you are having. Basically it's a compromise, and if it is possible to do, then I would if I were you.

Keep strong, I don't have the same condition as you, but yeah I know how it feels to be persistently aware of your physical appearance. ::

 

[Ren Koutaisou]

Yes, you should go back. People with degrees get more respect and have more job opportunities. Sure it won't be easy, but you have to think about the long-term benefits of completing your program.

Just make sure you study a lot and do your work. If it's possible, study at your school library or outside as long as you can so you can get the feel of being outside of your house.

I would love to go back to school.

 

[AGR]

Yes go back and do your best,if dont, you will regret.

 

[MollyBeGood]

I am going back. Wish me luck! I need a career sooo badly! But my last stint was hell so now that I am a bit older i hope I will be more able to handle it.

 

[forksandspoons]

The only reason I am in college is because I dont know what else to do right now. I major in Sports Administration, but Im not all that thrilled at the jobs that opens me up to.

My main goal in life is to become a college basketball referee, which does not require college. A degree would be great to have something to fall back on so I definitely want to finish school. This damn anxiety is directly killing my grades though. It doesn't matter how well I do on my class work and test, I miss so many classes my teachers have no choice but to drop my grade drastically.

When I go to class, I often have panic attacks, or at least I think. I get dizzy, and everything becomes all hazy. I start to shiver and feel like my world is ending. I usually have to leave the class and go to the bathroom where I tear up (I hold them back so I can go back into class) or just throw up.

 

[MollyBeGood]

The only reason I am in college is because I dont know what else to do right now. I major in Sports Administration, but Im not all that thrilled at the jobs that opens me up to.

My main goal in life is to become a college basketball referee, which does not require college. A degree would be great to have something to fall back on so I definitely want to finish school. This damn anxiety is directly killing my grades though. It doesn't matter how well I do on my class work and test, I miss so many classes my teachers have no choice but to drop my grade drastically.

When I go to class, I often have panic attacks, or at least I think. I get dizzy, and everything becomes all hazy. I start to shiver and feel like my world is ending. I usually have to leave the class and go to the bathroom where I tear up (I hold them back so I can go back into class) or just throw up.

Hi

Iam really sorry about this .Your anxiety sounds like it's really high/intense.
I would suggest talking to a therapist and a doctor since you also have physical conditions.
Talk therapy might help you to lower your fears so you can get past them enough to attend classes without feeling this level of panic.
Maybe try some breathing exercises, too. that's simple free and has instant effects.

I hated classes too-can you do them online maybe?

 

[forksandspoons]

Ive been talking to my parents about the idea of taking next semester off and going in to therapy. I feel like I need to get my head in the right place before I take classes. Im building my future here after all.

My school doesn't offer many online classes during the regular fiscal school year. Most are offered over the summer, which I plan on taking 9 or 12 credits worth this summer.

I really, really want to take that break but I probably won't be able to. I am in a lease until May, I have tuition paid, would lose health insurance, would have to get a job, and would have to start paying back loans with money I dont have. Its a problem without an answer.

 

[MollyBeGood]

Can you do therapy now while you take classes?
I would think you could slip a few serious sessions in and it would help you feel better-your goals are worth the extra effort right now if you can do it, try it maybe? I am not a big fan of it but I do think it can ease a lot of anxiety just to be able to talk about things with someone helpful.
Can you sublet your lease? find something cheap while you take time off?

 

[forksandspoons]

Im not a fan of taking therapy sessions either. Its just gotten so bad that I feel like its my last play and its 4th and long. Verbalizing some of my problems that I can't to my own parents could be beneficial.

I could post signs around my campus and I bet I could find someone to take my spot in the house. But that wouldn't solve all the financial problems.

Thanks for the help