shame?

LonelyLeaf

LonelyLeaf

Well-known member
Do I feel ashamed about who I am as a person? Absolutely not! Do I feel ashamed about some of the choices I've made in life? Depends on how you define shame...if you mean a constant nagging feeling and sense of guilt..then yes I feel ashamed...speaking for myself I made some bad choices in life that I have regretted since...I did inadvertendly hurt someone's feelings...but it's not as if I got up one day and said: 'Wouldn't it be fun to be egoistic, hurt people's feelings, give everything up and become a recluse...not at all...that would be crazy...just as much as an drug-addict fx. doesn't just do drugs for no good reason at all and slowly kill himself...there is always a reason..I'm not saying that excuses one's action...I'm just saying one should always look at whole picture..I don't know why I should feel guilty about the past for the rest of my life? I made some choices for various reasons, including SA, and I've since learnt from it and regretted and that's as much as I can do...could I go back now I would never make those choices and instead fight my problems instead of letting them control my life...
 
LonelyLeaf

LonelyLeaf

Well-known member
If I was egoistic or if I hurt someone's feelings then I did certainly did not realize it at the time...I didn't intentionally do it...
 
freestylemonster

freestylemonster

Banned
I'm ashamed that I just let my teen years fly by without even trying to make new friends, get a girlfriend etc.

And I'm extremely ashamed that I only just started trying to recover from SA.

Also I'm ashamed that I only just realized how much better life is when you make an effort to make friends

But I got a lot of life ahead of me I still have time to fix my wrongs!!
 
K

Klaus

Well-known member
You know something that I really hate about SA, it's that people see us in a inferior way and they kind of abuse us.
 
madmike

madmike

Well-known member
I don't so much anymore. I used feel so guilty because i'd convinced myself that i was egotistical and self-centred and only ever thought about mysef. But i don't think this anymore, i make as much of an effort as i can to care for others (and keep trying to do more on a day to day basis...) there's no room in my life for shame and regrets anymore (i barely even get embarrassed, when i say or do something stupid i just say 'oh, that was retarded' and try to laugh). Obviously i don't do this as well as i should, since i'm still suffering from this problem, but i think it can only get better now...
 
Azahara

Azahara

Well-known member
I often feel ashamed, mainly because I´m an adult and all my life I have a low self-steen. I have been dependent of someone all this time (my family, my friends, my co-workers feelings and reactions towards me, my husband, spychiatrists, psychologist, and so on) But, now I´m learning how to face the life on my own.
I think one day you say STOP, IT´S ENOUGH! Now, I´m going to be the real person I have hidden inside.
In life you can be co-dependent, human beings need other people from the beggining. The only animal who depend from others when (s)he is a baby, but we have to make an effort to leave this dependence and be awareness of our lifes only depend on us.
But I think this is a question of time.
All my life, my family have been treating as I was idiot or uncapable to do things. And I have said (ENOUGH). I think it´s a question of time.
Sorry for this so long text, but I felt the necessity to say all these.
 
Azahara

Azahara

Well-known member
Pinker said:
Totally ashamed.

I often find myself lying to people to cover up my pathetic day to day life.

I'm ashamed to meet people because of my life. I have no job, no friends, no current prospects of any kind, i'm totally reliant on my parents. Even they are tired of me and I don't blame them. It gets them down. It's punishment enough for me. I'm living with depression, anxiety and all the time i'm being told life is passing me by.

I look at my peer group (i'm 20) and I feel like such a looser. I have accomplished nothing compared to them and growing up I was suppost to be the cleaver, mature one. I'm so lonely but on the defensive all the time.



I feel like my 'life' hasn't even started, if you know what I mean?
Click to expand...

This is one of our error, we compare with others, but you´re a person with values as everyone. You´re very young. Fight againts this negativeness. If I were you I´ll try to think about your positive qualities. Write then down or think simplilly about them. For example: You are not selfish, you have just think about your family feelings. Can you go on the list?
good luck!
 
nico82

nico82

Well-known member
I used to feel really ashamed but during the latter half of this year it has started to decrease. It helps that I found an introverted therapist who totally understands how it is and who recommended the book The Highly Sensitive Person. Both have helped me learn that I don't have to feel bad about when I don't feel like socializing or being in certain social settings like most "normal" people, that it's okay to be different.

Of course I still have tons of other issues from body image to sexual dysfunction/intimacy problems but little by little I'm starting to address them all.
 
L

Luna_LL

Active member
Children learn what they live ..
(DOLTE?)

If a child lives with ridicule He learns to be shy
If a child lives with criticism He learns to condemn


madmike said:
I don't so much anymore. I used feel so guilty because i'd convinced myself that i was egotistical and self-centred and only ever thought about mysef. But i don't think this anymore, i make as much of an effort as i can to care for others (and keep trying to do more on a day to day basis...) there's no room in my life for shame and regrets anymore (i barely even get embarrassed, when i say or do something stupid i just say 'oh, that was retarded' and try to laugh).
Click to expand...

I'm trying to give up the egoism and some narcissm. It's too hard. It's hard to totally lose the individual self. How can u do this when the work ethic is so bad and Americans can't even spell or do math (i'm first generation hungarian)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top