Self-appraisal

[Niteowl]

How do you do this? This is the problem that I have, and I know that many, many others here do too. I was reading through the 'Let's meet each other' thread and for 'Qualities' people had said things like good-looking, smart, intelligent, creative (and house-broken o.o) ... I admire this greatly, but how do you do that? I'm positive enough about beating social anxiety but that's one thing that I find difficult. It's not so much that I don't appreciate what I have, I just can't say it. I know I'm not the only one. Why is it that we can't?

I think that absolutely everyone has great qualities ... unfailingly kind is one for everybody here. How many of you can see that though?

The people here that are able to write nice things about themselves, how do you do that? Do you have to think hard about saying those things or is it almost like a self-confidence thing? Do you hesitate as you submit the post? People might, for instance, say that I have nice eyes, and while I admit that I do kinda like them, there's absolutely no way that I could tell people that I have nice eyes. It's like while I like them, it doesn't mean they surpass some universal standard to be 'nice'.

Any comments would be much appreciated. This isn't a thread for me to complain that I have no good qualities because I want other people to give me compliments, I just want to know how you do it, how you are able to think and say that you're smart, or creative. I always see these qualities in others, but none in myself. I believe that if I, and others, were able to do just this one little thing for ourselves, then that would be a superb start to eventually beating social anxiety.

Thank you. All thoughts appreciated. : )

Self-appraisal: how do you do it?

 

[Lea]

I would say stay the way you are, I think too much self appraisal sinks.. it's up to others to find out your qualities, if you have some, if they don't, they wouldn't believe you even if you told them . Besides as for looks, every person has a different taste so you might like some aspect of yourself but not everybody would.

I think it's not that bad though to admit you like something about yourself if you really do, you're just being honest and that's better than pretending the opposite.

Sadly, on the job interviews for example, they expect you to praise yourself a lot which is not natural to me at all..

 

[Niteowl]

Thanks for your comments. : ) Hmmm, I'm not looking forward to job interviews at all. I can't even tell lies. : P I guess you're right though - there's such a thing as too much self-appreciation too. Without saying too much, I once knew a girl who had a long, long list of self-appended qualities: smart, pretty, "bubbly" (whatever that's supposed to mean), loyal, it went on and on. She put them on her Skype account. She told us that one day she would be a famous actress and novelist while we beg for change in the gutter. Needless to say I found her rather irritating when she was telling us why she was destined for the highest realms of greatness. She might well be. She on the other hand might be the one winding up in the gutter. I don't know. She can't possibly know either.

Maybe it's because I've never liked bragging. I know that calling oneself smart, or good-looking, isn't bragging, but both are self-appreciation. That's why I find it easier to talk about the things that really are terrible about me. I suck at every single kind of sport and game, for instance. In school I had a friend who was the self-proclaimed handsome one. Even though he had to put the rest of us down to make his self feel more attractive, I respected that somewhat.