School Fights

Honda

Well-known member
#1
Here is my story as i cant get it out of my head... I feel shame whenever i think about it.. When i was in school since 2nd grade and till 12th i have been always been harassed, bullied, annoyed & beaten up by many people in my school & my reputation has always been one of the schools pu***es.. I dont hate the fact that i got attacked but the fact that i never had the balls to fight back or defend myself.. Back in those times i found myself avoiding or hiding from these situations and i barely remember a time when i fought back.. I also used to avoid sports activities in school.. I lived with fear and confusion till my 2nd year in university & met people there that knew me from school, people that reminded me of the ones i faced in school or people that learned about me from school which made me feel weak and found if difficult for me difficult to answer back to verbal harassment or gaining control over my emotions... i believe as a man i shouldnt be like this especially that i got 2 younger sisters to look over, i refuse to raise a family in the future with such mentality stuck in my head... I have changed in my 3rd year at uni, gained friends and now am about to graduate but still have great fear in getting in situations similar to what i had in school cuz whenever i do nowadays i freeze with fear and confusion even if the person was just joking around... Most of the bullies i know i still see & they can notice the im still living in the past even though they forgot about it.. I know im wasting my time stuck in the past and that i can be the man i want to be but i still get confused when i get stuck in extreme situations. I find it easy to pick up girls and date even though i never did but i just couldn't find time and a person worth dating... Im short tempered which makes it easy for some people to harass me but the problem is that i start to get confused even though i could whoop their a$$es if i want to.. I learned boxing and exercise at home everyday and do it double whenever i feel down but i hope that all this is not in vain cuz i know its in the mind not the body... I got the looks to pick up girls and the looks to make guys think im tough enough but my behavior ruins it all.. I dont care about anything else in the world as long as i get over it especially that im living a life that other people can dream of but cannot enjoy it because of a bug in my head..
 
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Honda

Well-known member
#2
I gotta admit i didnt live a normal life in the past and am trying hard to live like a normal person does... I got some nice qualities that makes girls like me but signs of cowardice, shyness, confusion. Basically signs that im somehow disturbed person sometimes freaks people out but i understand..

Now i look at other people and i find them more socially successful than i am, they got lots of friends, connections, job opportunities because of that; even if i work hard im not sure if im doing it properly of good enough...
 
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newbie

Well-known member
#3
hey buddy, sounds like you had a rough past, i'm going through a similar situation at college but no wear near as constant and i haven't been beaten up yet...
1st some dickhead kept sholdering me, flicking my ear annoying stuff like that, i was hoping he would go away but this didn't work so then i told him to f**k off and surprisingly it worked and now i have a bigger person bullying me
i honestly don't get it

btw do you drive a honda? lol
 

Honda

Well-known member
#4
^ i wanted a honda since i was in high school... but now i have a nissan..

Its not easy to recover & im trying hard, i dont lose hope because others in this world a going through worse sh1t and manage to survive hence i should be stronger...
People quite dont understand me but they get the hint that i had a disturbed past. They find the fact that im very short tempered, shy and anxious a weird and unusual thing. Even though many people are good and accept me they still get curious about why im weird... I try to enjoy every moment i got...
So far i met a couple of girls during the past month that couldve been potential dates but i didnt make a move cuz i was busy with exams, graduation & simply was broke.. i just got the phone no of one of 'em but im not that interested in both which makes me hesistate wether i should date cuz im desperate or wait till i find a girl i really like.. A friend of mine who i met 2 years ago and is the complete opposite of me tries to piss me off on occasions as he knows im short tempered and tells me how funny and stupid i am when i do so every now then and that i should stop it..
I hate the fact that all the negative ideas and this phobia is an obsession that doesnt let me sleep at night and behave as i please even though i got alot of potential, i believe will power is something worth strengthening to overcome such a thing. I quit smoking to see how much will power i got and i made it for a 1.5 months so far.. I exercise at home everyday sit ups, push ups, pull ups, shadow boxing whenever i feel down and low... Will power and patience are things i wish i can make stronger in myself...

Sorry for the long story but i feel like spilling it out here on this forum... Good luck everyone.. Work hard on shaping your life the way you want it to be...
 

newbie

Well-known member
#5
your short temper will hopefully come on tap at the right time in the future if anyone touches you...at those moments you actually have to keep thinking and not get sucked into the moment and that way you will be calm and ready for whatever the other person is going to do
obviously this is easyer said than done and that the real thing is tbh scary but you still gotta do it as i also am planning to
 
#6
I always avoided fights, or had my brother fight for me. He kicked some bullies asses then no one would dare come near me again in hs.
 

Honda

Well-known member
#7
^ yeah but you gotta do it yourself oneday... Face your fears, live your dreams like they say...
 
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Rise Against

Well-known member
#9
My best advice to avoid being bullied is to just stay calm and dont let words bother you... i know this sounds like shitty advice but when ever someone says something to me i just look at them and smile and laugh and just go along with it. They get bored and will leave you alone. All they want you to do is react and if you dont react to their harassment they will leave you alone.
 

Honda

Well-known member
#11
I started working in a midsize office as an intern & i noticed that im a good in doing my job, making decisions, etc... but i also noticed that i my anxiety comes in the form of a panic attack or a sudden mood change... Sometimes i behave like normal people, sometimes i find it hard to behave like normal people and get very nervous for no apparent reason... I start hesistating and somethings taking stupid actions or giving stupid answers.. I hate it but im trying to control it... I feel alone and would like something new in life so im trying to look for a girlfriend but i cant find a person good enough.. I think i will just date anyone out of desperation; would that be an option?
 
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newbie

Well-known member
#12
yes, drop your requirments and get a girl, obviously you still get to choose but don't be picky and most importantly that your personalities match up but don't think about this too much
find a girl and talk to her and see how it goes from there on...
 
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