School Dread

KerrBear

Active member
The thing I hate about social anxiety is that it makes it a bit difficult to deal with life. Some days I just get so positive and am able to make it out and about. Other days I just seem to not have the energy or motivation to make it out the door.

Since the holidays are not done and over with I have to go back to the adult learning center which I am doing my schooling at. I don't much like it there, it's not much of a "school" environment that I am used to in elementary or high school. You do your own work, although there is a teacher available for help. The students there talk about whatever they please, their children, drugs, parties, life drama, etc. It just bothers me. Leave your **** at the door please! Thing that is starting to bother me though is that no one has tried talking to me yet. I don't even know how to begin a conversation. I don't know what to say. So with this being said, this is what makes it difficult for me going to school. :sad:
 
You just want to be involved. Maybe you can ask a teacher if he can help you being more involved?? That you feel left out? It might help. And if you really don't like the school, why not change? It doesn't matter if you do. You feel better if you find a place you can go with a laughter. I will defenitely change school after this one, I first want to have my papers set though. But after, I'm so much gonna leave this school. All though the teachers are nice, I also have a hard time connecting with people.

The advice is hard to give, since we all have a hard time ' starting what we want '. If you hear somebody talking about his life drama or her's. Maybe you should add a word and say ' I'm so sorry for you, how's it now? Or I can so much relate to that' something like that. Or when they talk about hobbies you might say ' Me too, cool hobby' I know it sounds weird at first, but if you just say ' Something ' you shuold already be happy.

The best way to be accepting this is saying

I have a hard time because I don't know how to start a convo
But even if I just smile, or say one word, like good morning or nice
I at least can be happy with that little step, because for me it is harder
than for those people to talk. I have a speaking fear, and they know I'm quiet, but I know my own truth, I have SA and I should be happy with all the little improvements.

I know it's not a paradise when you say so less, or don't have a group of communicators or that you have no parties or people to talk to everyday and be close and look at those folkse veryday.... But know, that you should be proud of yourself. YOu did not chose to have this problem, you want it to be different but it is so difficult. And that's why you post this dread.

I hope you can achieve a convo with them as you wish so much :blushing::blushing:

Good luck dear
 

KerrBear

Active member
Thank you for the kind advice Falkor, those are some nice words. :) I don't really want to change schools since I know pretty much the basics of what I have to do at the school I am at. It would just be more sitting and waiting if I transfer. I am hoping to graduate this June. I hope I can do it.
 

jaim38

Well-known member
I used to take offline college classes but the experience was so horrible that I am now taking online classes and will complete my degree online. My former classmates despise me, and I hear things like "everyone hates her" and "nobody likes her" quite often. Everyday when I go to class, I feel so horrible and "dirty" that sometimes, I think it's my own fault that everybody hates me.

Anyway, if your college offers online courses, take advantage of them. I'm actually doing better in my online courses and my mental health has improved. Removing myself from negative people really helps.

And I agree with Falkor. It takes effort to connect to people. Even when you're not interested in people bitch**g about their life, you still need to act like you're interested and keep asking questions. That's probably when you can connect with people.
 

KerrBear

Active member
So I was supposed to go to school today, I may go in the afternoon but I'm not sure. I'm just so nervous about going. I was starting to get ready this morning but just dragging myself because I really didn't want to go. Once I got everything ready and packed up to go, I froze and started to cry. I hate that I can't do regular things that most people can do. Maybe I will take online courses into consideration, I'll have to call my school about that though. I just don't want to NOT go to school and lose my determination to bettering myself and to meet people. It sucks being afraid of something that you want to have.

Edit: Does anyone else have a hard time going out to do an activity or anything? How do you pull yourself through to do it?
 
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jaim38

Well-known member
Edit: Does anyone else have a hard time going out to do an activity or anything? How do you pull yourself through to do it?

I do. I have agoraphobia and I'm especially nervous in large crowded places. I only go out when I really need to (i.e. when the school requires me to see a counselor for advising purposes or when I need to return my rented textbooks). To motivate myself to do this, I tell myself "this is necessary. If I don't do it, I will suffer severe consequences." I pretty much force myself to do it.
 

KerrBear

Active member
I "forced" myself to go yesterday. Once I got to the bus stop it wasn't so bad. It was a nice day out. As I was getting onto the bus I felt someone pull on my coat from behind me and I looked back to see who it was and it happened to be one of the girls that I had met in a women's shelter a couple of years ago. I remembered her saying that she lived in my hometown and she was asking things about what were still there and whatnot. She is in her 40s and she is a very nice lady. We talked all the way to my stop. I got off and she got off too. Turns out she goes to the same adult learning center as I do and in the same classroom! Coincidence or what? She sat by the window, I sat by the door for my reasons. Thing is, it's nice at least knowing one soul in the center. I was somewhat relieved of not feeling alone for a change.:shyness:
 

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
I "forced" myself to go yesterday. Once I got to the bus stop it wasn't so bad. It was a nice day out. As I was getting onto the bus I felt someone pull on my coat from behind me and I looked back to see who it was and it happened to be one of the girls that I had met in a women's shelter a couple of years ago. I remembered her saying that she lived in my hometown and she was asking things about what were still there and whatnot. She is in her 40s and she is a very nice lady. We talked all the way to my stop. I got off and she got off too. Turns out she goes to the same adult learning center as I do and in the same classroom! Coincidence or what? She sat by the window, I sat by the door for my reasons. Thing is, it's nice at least knowing one soul in the center. I was somewhat relieved of not feeling alone for a change.:shyness:

Glad it worked out! As much as I hate anything social the best things that have happened to me in life were a result of taking a chance and putting myself out there.
 

jaim38

Well-known member
I "forced" myself to go yesterday. Once I got to the bus stop it wasn't so bad. It was a nice day out. As I was getting onto the bus I felt someone pull on my coat from behind me and I looked back to see who it was and it happened to be one of the girls that I had met in a women's shelter a couple of years ago. I remembered her saying that she lived in my hometown and she was asking things about what were still there and whatnot. She is in her 40s and she is a very nice lady. We talked all the way to my stop. I got off and she got off too. Turns out she goes to the same adult learning center as I do and in the same classroom! Coincidence or what? She sat by the window, I sat by the door for my reasons. Thing is, it's nice at least knowing one soul in the center. I was somewhat relieved of not feeling alone for a change.:shyness:

Good to hear you're doing well! In the past when taking classes on campus, I avoided people due to my avpd and sa, but I wished I wasn't so lonely.
 

crazymind

Member
You should try spending more time around people, try joining a club or try doing more outdoor activities that require you to be around people....you will find out that it aint that hard talking to people once you spend more time around them, you won't need to start conversations with them, some will initiate a conversation with you just because you r also part of the club or group activity....

"Believing is the key to success"
 
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