scared to leave the house:/

[nina79]

Hi. I am brand new to this community. I've been suffering with agoraphobia for a few years and go weeks if not more without being able to leave the house. I tried doctors (therapy and primary care with depression meds) but it was soooo hard to get there and it didn't seem to help, it actually got worse. Now I've given up hope of help and feel stuck. I finally read what my condition is called and what it is. Wondering if anyone has suggestions since I feel like the doctors can't help, even if i could get there... which i cannot I have my husband who is understanding and shops for me etc. I can only do amazon for myself.
Thanks for any help...

 

[Ransfordrowe]

Hi.Welcome to the community and hope you find what you seek here.Its tricky to deal with agrophobia and its no doubt tough on you.My brother had it for a number of months years ago but he recovered but like me is very anxious at times.

Identifying what your scared of in the outside world is a good start.Fear is the driven force I believe behind alot of agrophobia.Do you really believe what tpyou fear can actually happen or hurt you.

What incident or incidences caused you to stay in right at the start.Identifying this could be useful.

Do you actual want to go out more or is your support network so good that you dont want to leave the house.You are too much in your comfort zone even though you still have issues etc.What things would you like to see outside.This could be used to motivate you to make the first steps say into the garden.

 

[AtTheGates]

I dont think meds alone will help agoraphobia....I think being afraid to leave your house/comfort zone is often the result of just staying home alot...then when its time to start leaving the house more its like a shock to your system..the only real way to get over it is to slowly start getting further away from your house little by little...you can find a comfort zone outside your house...the inside of your car can be a comfort zone...then step up your comfort zone to a queit hiking trail, and then maybe a library, and then eventually move your way up to places that are more and more populated with people until you've become accustomed to being around people again....

I really think its all about becoming more and more accustomed to leaving the house and being in social situations...try to look at it as a bad habit that you can change with time and effort.

 

[nina79]

thanks, great advice. I feel like i'm insane sometimes.

 

[Sacrament]

What exactly are you afraid of when you think of going outside? What kind of thoughts go through your mind? Something bad happening? Being mugged or runover by a car?

One of the best solutions is probably to actually delve into those thoughts as an outsider (without judgment), and carefully analyse every little thought that occurs when you think of facing that fear, and then ask yourself, rationally, if there's any logic behind that line of thinking. Then, just look at those thoughts as mere scary words and images whose only power over you is the power you give them. This way you can defuse and tame them, and begin replacing them with more logical, productive and positive thoughts and ideas.

 

[nina79]

thanks so much for taking time to ask. I don't know exactly why. I can leave my house onto our 3 acres just fine. I want to go to church, I loved grocery shopping and was considered socially fine up until about 30. I stopped talking to my friends. Stopped going to church and I've even cut myself off from my close family. I feel so guilty about canceling so many times that I just stopped ever saying I would do anything. Weeks became months and winters are long. It's been a few years now. My husband thinks it's social since I do not do well with people who show any anger or aggression with me. I feel completely scared when I come out of a situation where most people would prob think the person was just pushy. I also get the whole panic thing if I have to drive anywhere or call anyone. I'm going to try all your suggestions. I'm thinking I HAVE to help myself since I cannot go anywhere to get help. I'm making a list of things I would love to see right now. <3

(oh and I have no set thoughts of fear like mugging/fire)

 

[Sacrament]

Just remind yourself that there's no real and logical reason as to why you shouldn't enjoy life, and that it's time to be stronger than those thoughts and fears. Don't take it too far all at once otherwise it might be overwhelming, just establish small goals for each day and keep scratching them off the list. Feel free to keep sharing your progress

Also, keep in mind that it will be hard, and there might be setbacks, but the difference between success and failure is allowing for those setbacks to exist without having them actually hinder your progress (for instance, you might feel a 7 out of 10 on the anxiety scale when you go somewhere, and the next day it's a 9, but don't let it stop you from pushing on). Exposure and more exposure, that's what you need. Exposure and proper mental adjustments, and soon enough you'll be able to enjoy things much more, and you'll be also able to do many more things with your husband. Never forget the rewards you'll get when it gets tough, they'll be a huge help.

 

[nina79]

Thanks again. My first goal is to write TINY goals for this week. No idea if it will happen but I'd love to keep up with this community as support! Is there a chat place for people to communicate in real time with the group? Thanks

 

[Sacrament]

Yes, there's a chat at the bottom of the screen, but not everyone uses it.