Hi everyone. Just a week a ago, I found out that a guy that I have had strong feelings for has social anxiety disorder. I've been doing a lot of reading up the last few days. Before I start talking about the main issue, I'd just like to say to every single person who has SAD, I'm so very terribly sorry for you'll, it hurts me a lot to know such an awful thing like this exists, let alone that it affects so so many people. My heart goes out to all of you.
So to begin, please know that I didn't come up with his diagnosis, in fact I couldn't understand his behaviour (I thought he was playing around with me) and asked 2 dating experts about him, both of them confirmed a quick diagnosis like SAD instead. Also I would like to point out that we are on a friendship level, I'm the one crushing on him. Though the experts told me he fancies me too (I'm leaving this to be answered by everyone here who has SAD after having read his following characteristics below, since you'll are more aware of how it works)
1) He's 21, very friendly and happy when chatting with me online, using lots of smileys and cute words (coolios, darnios etc)
2) His chat answers are extremely brief (2 sentences or 1 max)
3) We can never keep a chat conversation going for long as he doesn't contribute most of the time to a topic, hence I change it all the time to keep the ball rolling.
4) He has never initiated any of our online chats
5) No matter how busy he is, he makes sure to make time to chat with me (even briefly) and also helps me if I ask him.
6) He remembered to wish me via chat for my birthday after 6 months of not talking on line.
7) After chatting online and we finally did meet up on the 1st day, he never looked at me, never spoke to me, walked far away from me and the group and declined going out elsewhere with us
8) He always stayed in his room, ALL the TIME, away from us (apparently this is done even if I'm not around the house I've heard)
9) After about 3 times after meeting in person, he was finally able to look me in the eye and initiated very brief conversation, again before retreating back into his room.
10) his 3 siblings have told me how he was always the shy quiet child playing alone when they were kids. They said it was as if he had a shell and it needed time to break down. And he's only ever had 1 girlfriend his entire life, that too was because the girl begged him, they say.
11) As for his social life, he's a very good looking guy, he actually does have guy friends, he games a lot with them. He also smokes pot
So here are my questions:
1) Does he have any romantic interest in me whatsoever? If so, how much? Or am I just some random girl he's trying to be polite to?
2) If the answer above is yes he does like me, the next question that follows is: we've known each other for 1 and a half years now and I think he should be more relaxed (considering the few online chats and the brief face to face encounters previously). Why does he still not initiate talking to me online? Does he really not care all that much? Is that what he's subtly trying to convey? Or does SAD play a role here too?
I ask these 2 questions because i have to know if he really does like me in that special way. Only then can I feel confident in working my way up towards developing a bond. Because why keep high hopes about someone who has no interest in the 1st place? Your kind answers will be very much appreciated =)
So to begin, please know that I didn't come up with his diagnosis, in fact I couldn't understand his behaviour (I thought he was playing around with me) and asked 2 dating experts about him, both of them confirmed a quick diagnosis like SAD instead. Also I would like to point out that we are on a friendship level, I'm the one crushing on him. Though the experts told me he fancies me too (I'm leaving this to be answered by everyone here who has SAD after having read his following characteristics below, since you'll are more aware of how it works)
1) He's 21, very friendly and happy when chatting with me online, using lots of smileys and cute words (coolios, darnios etc)
2) His chat answers are extremely brief (2 sentences or 1 max)
3) We can never keep a chat conversation going for long as he doesn't contribute most of the time to a topic, hence I change it all the time to keep the ball rolling.
4) He has never initiated any of our online chats
5) No matter how busy he is, he makes sure to make time to chat with me (even briefly) and also helps me if I ask him.
6) He remembered to wish me via chat for my birthday after 6 months of not talking on line.
7) After chatting online and we finally did meet up on the 1st day, he never looked at me, never spoke to me, walked far away from me and the group and declined going out elsewhere with us
8) He always stayed in his room, ALL the TIME, away from us (apparently this is done even if I'm not around the house I've heard)
9) After about 3 times after meeting in person, he was finally able to look me in the eye and initiated very brief conversation, again before retreating back into his room.
10) his 3 siblings have told me how he was always the shy quiet child playing alone when they were kids. They said it was as if he had a shell and it needed time to break down. And he's only ever had 1 girlfriend his entire life, that too was because the girl begged him, they say.
11) As for his social life, he's a very good looking guy, he actually does have guy friends, he games a lot with them. He also smokes pot
So here are my questions:
1) Does he have any romantic interest in me whatsoever? If so, how much? Or am I just some random girl he's trying to be polite to?
2) If the answer above is yes he does like me, the next question that follows is: we've known each other for 1 and a half years now and I think he should be more relaxed (considering the few online chats and the brief face to face encounters previously). Why does he still not initiate talking to me online? Does he really not care all that much? Is that what he's subtly trying to convey? Or does SAD play a role here too?
I ask these 2 questions because i have to know if he really does like me in that special way. Only then can I feel confident in working my way up towards developing a bond. Because why keep high hopes about someone who has no interest in the 1st place? Your kind answers will be very much appreciated =)
