hangbi92
Well-known member
I just want to share you some of the ways how SAD has affected my life:
Today I had a test, and I just couldnt concentrate on it because of my anxiety. I dont even know why I acted so weird and crazy. Its not that I could not do the test, but whenever the teacher walked by me I started to feel nervous, my heart started racing and and my hand shaking, and I stopped writing, like she was gonna eat me or sth. I had to wait until she walked far away from me so that I could concentrate on my test. The closer she got to me, the more anxious I felt. Even her footsteps made me feel anxious like crazy. And throughout the whole test, I stopped writting many times and pretented to be meditating just to wait for her to go away from me. It was such a waste of time, I could have done my test better.
And thats not all. After that I got a PE period. Normally I wouldnt skip PE class. Actually I really like PE because its the time when I can feel a little bit relieved and less depressed. But today our PE class was merged with the PE 10 girl class. And the moment I knew about it I started to be panic. I was so afraid that I might do something humiliating that made these girls laugh at me. So I slipped away from the PE class and hid in the washing room. I sat on the toilet for the whole period, wishing that nobody would walk in here and found out that I was hiding here. I dont know why I felt this way, I dont know why I cant control my brain when Im around people. I went home and thought about what happened today, and it made me even want to laugh at myself. I was so impaired and dysfuntional because of my SAD. I always try to avoid people and am afraid that they may think I am suspicious or crazy or sth.
I have to go to the bank in few minutes. Even the thought of stepping out of the door scares me. And I have to walk through 2 traffic lights. I dont know what will happen.
Today I had a test, and I just couldnt concentrate on it because of my anxiety. I dont even know why I acted so weird and crazy. Its not that I could not do the test, but whenever the teacher walked by me I started to feel nervous, my heart started racing and and my hand shaking, and I stopped writing, like she was gonna eat me or sth. I had to wait until she walked far away from me so that I could concentrate on my test. The closer she got to me, the more anxious I felt. Even her footsteps made me feel anxious like crazy. And throughout the whole test, I stopped writting many times and pretented to be meditating just to wait for her to go away from me. It was such a waste of time, I could have done my test better.
And thats not all. After that I got a PE period. Normally I wouldnt skip PE class. Actually I really like PE because its the time when I can feel a little bit relieved and less depressed. But today our PE class was merged with the PE 10 girl class. And the moment I knew about it I started to be panic. I was so afraid that I might do something humiliating that made these girls laugh at me. So I slipped away from the PE class and hid in the washing room. I sat on the toilet for the whole period, wishing that nobody would walk in here and found out that I was hiding here. I dont know why I felt this way, I dont know why I cant control my brain when Im around people. I went home and thought about what happened today, and it made me even want to laugh at myself. I was so impaired and dysfuntional because of my SAD. I always try to avoid people and am afraid that they may think I am suspicious or crazy or sth.
I have to go to the bank in few minutes. Even the thought of stepping out of the door scares me. And I have to walk through 2 traffic lights. I dont know what will happen.
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