SA on the upswing

PeterO

Well-known member
#1
Hello!

I signed up for this forum seven years ago and then never used it, though I've appreciated the nice birthday automated message each year. Since I keep forgetting I signed up, it's always a surprise.

I am 43 years old and have had depression, anxiety, and social anxiety issues for a long time. I used to self-medicate with alcohol, but have been sober for 20 years. My life is actually very full and rewarding. I am happily married, have two great kids, and a comfortable job that is not too stressful.

I am also a performer for fun -- I do amateur and small-scale professional stage acting and improv. I've learned that a lot of people drawn to performing are introverts like me, perhaps because it provides a safe, well-defined venue (and one where you quite literally know how to act). I do not know if this holds true for people with SA beyond basic introversion.

My SA issues have been increasing lately, and I'm not sure why. First I was finding less of a desire to interact even with people I know and like, and that was fine -- I did not feel lonely or depressed by it. But then I started feeling increasing anxiety even when getting ready to do things I've done many times before, with people I know. It hasn't been debilitating per se because I'm lucky enough to be able to work from home almost all the time. But it has severely hindered me from doing things I used to do.
 
#2
I'm sorry to hear you may be regressing, for lack of a better word.

What's weird is that I feel the older I get (I'm 41), the less energy I have to even become afraid and get wound-up about things. The fact that you're getting caught up in your head over stuff you've previously "conquered" is worrisome because I'd hate to lose ground like that; note that I haven't accomplished anything like what you have.

I lived with a girl, years ago, whose father suddenly began exhibiting symptoms of social phobia out of nowhere, in his mid-forties. He had to retire and her mother had to enter the workforce just to support them. He was a Vietnam veteran and a sheriff, as well, a real man's man with no history of anxiety on that level.

I wonder what it is that sparks these kinds of feelings for the first time in adults, or reignites them in people who've seemingly put most of their battles behind them?
 

lily

Well-known member
#3
It's odd you'd get SA all of a sudden out of nowhere. Maybe it's b/c you suppress your feelings and you don't know where it's coming from? Welcome to the site!
 

PeterO

Well-known member
#4
It's definitely a puzzle. I started making an effort a few months back to give myself permission to do less, and to do nothing more, so maybe that downtime is letting my badbrain goblins come out to play...
 
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