SA and shame-embarassment

[romeno82]

HI to all

i have a few questions:
what would happen if you wouldn´t be asamed and embarassed to show your SA-symptoms in public? would you feel OK? would you be left alone? is that the real problem: the fear of beeing left alone? to lose credibility in front of others? the fear of being laughed at?

why do we feel shame about our SA? is it not worth of consideration? cos of SA do we have leprosy? why do we have to hide our true identity from people? are we that grotesque? are we even human beeings cos of the guilt of having our SA? why the hell dont we show our SA to the world????
if you accept your sa others also will. why do we punish ourself with IMMENSE shame for having SA? why dont we accept the fact that SA is a suffering like each other and so we have the right to feel bad and SHOW it? what if you show your anxiety and insecurities without shame and embarassment to others?
they will think you are a true and honest person who shows himself as he is in this world of appearance. one of the few who has corage to show his true self with all his weakenings. i tell you: peolpe will love you! and SA will be gone that i can assure you

 

[caged-inside]

More like... they will think u are a freak and once they know you can't hold a conversation they will distance themselves from you because you are too much hard work.

 

[Shonen_Yo]

I often held the idea that not trying to stop it and just accepting would reduce the problem. But so far, this hasn't worked for me. Perhaps I should try to just fight it.

 

[lily]

there are still ppl who expect you to be ok or have the wrong concepts.

 

[BrokenSmile]

More like... they will think u are a freak and once they know you can't hold a conversation they will distance themselves from you because you are too much hard work.

Some people like very much freaks really.

 

[romeno82]

i think that the real problem of SA-people is perfectionism. we think we are supposed the be perfect in social situations, when we say something stupid we are all embarrassed. we fear embarassment so much like death. why that? after i expelled perfectionism from myself i got alot better. now i feel good in social situations. now i can say something stupid and feel normal about it . hell i even law to have said something stupid. whats wrong in saying something stupid or making a fool of yourself. Give you a chanche and give you some compassion. from your perfectionism derives shame, embarrassment, criticism...

a big help for this was john bradshaws book "healing the shame that binds you". its a must for SA sufferers

another big help was eft (emotional freedom technique www.emofree.com). its acupressure without needles. its removes easy any kind of negative emotions. really works

 

[TAMPA-BAY]

I agreee with romeno82

 

[recluse]

Our problem is that we focus too much on ourselves.