Running out of luck....

[Apple Strudel]

My father (yucks) had decided to move out of this country to retire by the end of this year or during early Jan next year. He will be moving out with my narcissistic stepmother to enjoy the final days of their lives (oh I can see her smiling gleefully at the thought of it).

Anyways, my family and I have trouble communicating at times. They would blissfully ignore my 'achievements' and emphasize on my bad points. Especially my narcissistic stepmother. She once berate me for taking anxiety meds and saying that she should be the one taking it since I kept giving her troubles by not being 'clean' enough. I suspect she has an OCD problem going for her since she has always been a neat freak.

I could feel that my days are nearing and with my current anxious and depressed state, I could not imagine surviving by myself when I have absolutely nothing going for me right now. No friends, No boyfriend, Not much of an education, lacking severely of communication skills, still taking on minimum wage jobs on a part-time basis and getting trampled on by younger people, Not enough money, Fat, Ugly etc.

Yep, great...I have qualities that are despised by the society and YET things like a simple roof over my head, three square meals per day would be taken away because my dad is getting on his age and my stepmum hates me too much to even care about me.

My relatives hated me too and they all have their own families and most of my aunt and uncle are retiring and getting on their age, so the possibility of seeking them is next to nil.

Oh, and don't expect the me to rely on my state. This tiny island is where they work you to death with no sight of rest. No such thing as welfare, handouts...majority here are looking for immigration elsewhere to seek a relaxing pace of life.

I don't know really, perhaps I take it as a sign of God wanting me sooner in his place...but i'm afraid of pain, but then again, I could probably convince myself that my life has always been f*cked up since young and it's getting worse as I got older...

(Has been through high school bullying, parental abandonment, job sacking, put downs, sneers, puppet etc.)

 

[Lorraine Manca]

you could be better off without them, sometimes when you're even in the same 100 miles as your family it can make you anxious, so to be without them might make you feel worlds better, especially if your anxiety came from them in the first place and then was generalized to other people, if that makes sense. you never know, it could be a good thing, im sorry it doesnt feel that way though

 

[Danfalc]

Yeah maybe Lorraine is right.It sounds like you don't get on with your Step Mum,maybe finally being out from underneath her constant judgement might be a good thing?I'm not trying to compare my own experiences with your own but despite ending up homeless,my Dad kicking me out was in a way the best thing he ever did for me.

Try not to give up hope completely yet,I know it obviously isn't going to be easy for you,but maybe this change good mean good change and not just more hardships.

 

[Kat]

Society despises about every quality for one reason or another, it’s hard to ignore those things and they will try and get you down, everyone has something good about them it’s imperative for the survival in this world and unless you have some sort of mental handicap you can always improve that’s at least something to have hope in, just hang in there and work on the things you can change.

 

[Apple Strudel]

Yeah maybe Lorraine is right.It sounds like you don't get on with your Step Mum,maybe finally being out from underneath her constant judgement might be a good thing?I'm not trying to compare my own experiences with your own but despite ending up homeless,my Dad kicking me out was in a way the best thing he ever did for me.

Try not to give up hope completely yet,I know it obviously isn't going to be easy for you,but maybe this change good mean good change and not just more hardships.

Homeless?? How are doing now? How did you manage to get out of homelessness??

 

[Danfalc]

Homeless?? How are doing now? How did you manage to get out of homelessness??

This was a few years back now.But I actually had no where to go,a mate put me up for a little while but I had to rely on the government.

In the end I had to go in a youth hostel,which was horrible but it was a roof over my head.Despite still being classed as homeless it took about a year to get a flat of my own. (Hostels don't count as permanent housing,your not meant to stay in one for longer than a few months)

I'm doing ok now though,the first flat they put me in was horrible,I was beneath a crack den,but I've since moved.