blackomen
Member
(This isn't my post; I saved it from a blog I read and it's unfortunately been deleted now. It has given me a new perspective to things and I recommend you read it too)
Relentlessness: The new way to get what you want
March 7th, 2008
Posted by Kirk
Culture, Sex, Work and School
As children, most of us were taught to sit and be quiet, wait our turn, or just give up. As ridiculous as it seems, this is the exact OPPOSITE of what you want to do in real life- and sometimes, being something of a persistent jerk pays off. So, what’s the like between being a dick and being opportunistic with girls, work, and everything else?
Let me begin this post with a short example of what we’re all afraid to be. He, in my opinion, was the epitome of the typical overbearing douche- the thing that most of us are paranoid of being.
We’ll call him Bill. Bill was one of those guys that wasn’t amazingly good looking or talented, and for the most part, he just fell in the “average” to “sub-average” level in most people’s minds. Normally, Bill would have done fairly well- personality would have taken him a long way… except Bill’s personality was, to say the least, creepy.
Bill was the kind of guy that most people were afraid to be alone with. He would never look you in the eyes out of fear, but he was extremely overbearing in all the wrong times. When hanging out with girls, if one would get on his bed, he would make an inappropriate comment and jump on the bed and try to grab things. When he was openly rejected, he would keep trying, almost incessantly, with calls/e-mails/intentional “accidental” meetings.
To make this worse, Bill was afraid of guys in a somewhat alpha-male fight sense. In a way, Bill wanted to get all of the girls- and any guys that he perceived as better (in any fashion, even if it was something stupid like “has better shoes than me”) would translate into strange, quiet anger. Except when he suddenly tried to pretend to be “cool” just to push harder on the girl that keeps saying “NO”.
Everyone worries about becoming Bill- an annoying, creepy, overbearing fuck that everyone is secretly afraid of. Most people I know don’t take chances- like doing something daring- because they think they’ll become someone like Bill. Some think that taking the effort to apply for a job can even be overbearing. Some think that inviting a girl on a date can be overbearing. And that is, frankly, wrong.
Take Bill, and ignore him, now. You will never be Bill, no matter how worried you are that you might become that. The sheer fact that most people are worried about being overbearing and creepy means that they will avoid blatant actions that convey that kind of attitude. Actually, it’s something of the flip side: sometimes, people are too nervous. And that, honestly, sucks.
Toss aside restraint. It’s as simple as that. Despite what society may think, it’s breaking those social norms and “rules” that gets you places, not obeying the rules entirely. Think about it- politicians, rich businessmen, even famous actors- all of them were different than what was expected. Sure, some people manage to be normal and standard- but that rarely gets attention. You need to be the woman in the red dress from The Matrix (and not from Schindler’s List, the former seems to manage to live, the latter does not).
What do I mean by breaking rules? Stop worrying about social norms and what is accepted: I guarantee you that you’re either incorrect or just over analyzing the situation. As I’ve told a friend before, your attitude should be one of, in the most simple terms, kicking reason to the curb. Break out of the mold of your standard self and do something completely out of character and random. Pick up your phone and call that girl you have a crush on and ask her out. Run up to a random girl and ask her out in the middle of a crowd. Apply for a bunch of jobs just to see if you can get better pay. Stop living with your parents and go out on your own.
Why do this? Because good things come- despite what you may think. Sure, you may get denied a job or rejected from the opportunity of a date, but it’s the fact that you did so that matters. Slowly but surely, similar things won’t be so hard- and if an opportunity arises that you can easily take, you’ll be prepared.
So what do I want you to do? This upcoming week (Spring Break for some, a normal break for others), I challenge you to do something out of character. Run out and invite a girl to date. Go get new clothes and dress well. Go to a gym and hit some weights or run. Decide to stop smoking and get on a plan. I don’t care what. Once you do, go to our forums and post what you did- I’ll even post mine. I’m willing to promise in this blog post that something will happen- be it good or not, you will have done something.
Let’s see what we can all do!
Relentlessness: The new way to get what you want
March 7th, 2008
Posted by Kirk
Culture, Sex, Work and School
As children, most of us were taught to sit and be quiet, wait our turn, or just give up. As ridiculous as it seems, this is the exact OPPOSITE of what you want to do in real life- and sometimes, being something of a persistent jerk pays off. So, what’s the like between being a dick and being opportunistic with girls, work, and everything else?
Let me begin this post with a short example of what we’re all afraid to be. He, in my opinion, was the epitome of the typical overbearing douche- the thing that most of us are paranoid of being.
We’ll call him Bill. Bill was one of those guys that wasn’t amazingly good looking or talented, and for the most part, he just fell in the “average” to “sub-average” level in most people’s minds. Normally, Bill would have done fairly well- personality would have taken him a long way… except Bill’s personality was, to say the least, creepy.
Bill was the kind of guy that most people were afraid to be alone with. He would never look you in the eyes out of fear, but he was extremely overbearing in all the wrong times. When hanging out with girls, if one would get on his bed, he would make an inappropriate comment and jump on the bed and try to grab things. When he was openly rejected, he would keep trying, almost incessantly, with calls/e-mails/intentional “accidental” meetings.
To make this worse, Bill was afraid of guys in a somewhat alpha-male fight sense. In a way, Bill wanted to get all of the girls- and any guys that he perceived as better (in any fashion, even if it was something stupid like “has better shoes than me”) would translate into strange, quiet anger. Except when he suddenly tried to pretend to be “cool” just to push harder on the girl that keeps saying “NO”.
Everyone worries about becoming Bill- an annoying, creepy, overbearing fuck that everyone is secretly afraid of. Most people I know don’t take chances- like doing something daring- because they think they’ll become someone like Bill. Some think that taking the effort to apply for a job can even be overbearing. Some think that inviting a girl on a date can be overbearing. And that is, frankly, wrong.
Take Bill, and ignore him, now. You will never be Bill, no matter how worried you are that you might become that. The sheer fact that most people are worried about being overbearing and creepy means that they will avoid blatant actions that convey that kind of attitude. Actually, it’s something of the flip side: sometimes, people are too nervous. And that, honestly, sucks.
Toss aside restraint. It’s as simple as that. Despite what society may think, it’s breaking those social norms and “rules” that gets you places, not obeying the rules entirely. Think about it- politicians, rich businessmen, even famous actors- all of them were different than what was expected. Sure, some people manage to be normal and standard- but that rarely gets attention. You need to be the woman in the red dress from The Matrix (and not from Schindler’s List, the former seems to manage to live, the latter does not).
What do I mean by breaking rules? Stop worrying about social norms and what is accepted: I guarantee you that you’re either incorrect or just over analyzing the situation. As I’ve told a friend before, your attitude should be one of, in the most simple terms, kicking reason to the curb. Break out of the mold of your standard self and do something completely out of character and random. Pick up your phone and call that girl you have a crush on and ask her out. Run up to a random girl and ask her out in the middle of a crowd. Apply for a bunch of jobs just to see if you can get better pay. Stop living with your parents and go out on your own.
Why do this? Because good things come- despite what you may think. Sure, you may get denied a job or rejected from the opportunity of a date, but it’s the fact that you did so that matters. Slowly but surely, similar things won’t be so hard- and if an opportunity arises that you can easily take, you’ll be prepared.
So what do I want you to do? This upcoming week (Spring Break for some, a normal break for others), I challenge you to do something out of character. Run out and invite a girl to date. Go get new clothes and dress well. Go to a gym and hit some weights or run. Decide to stop smoking and get on a plan. I don’t care what. Once you do, go to our forums and post what you did- I’ll even post mine. I’m willing to promise in this blog post that something will happen- be it good or not, you will have done something.
Let’s see what we can all do!
