There was a time when I thought I had successfully slain the dragon known as social anxiety. Oh, how wrong I was.
This past weekend, I was at a party at a friend's house, and I initially only knew about 4 people there. Granted, I spent most of the night talking to and meeting new people, but by the early hours of the morning I was just sitting on the couch quietly like a boring prat while everyone else was having fun talking and joking with each other. Normally, when a party is winding down, I feel most at ease making jokes and all that, but for some reason I just felt outshined and anxious, and I could sense people's annoyance with me. By the time I'd decided to get up and leave, I was offered an awkward hug/goodbye from my friend who'd invited me (normally, our hello/goodbye hugs are quite enthusiastic).
I guess I should feel honoured that I was actually invited, but I get the feeling I probably won't be ever again. I was originally thinking of cutting contact with her to save myself the embarrassment, but I realize now that's probably a bit irrational.
F**k you social anxiety.
This past weekend, I was at a party at a friend's house, and I initially only knew about 4 people there. Granted, I spent most of the night talking to and meeting new people, but by the early hours of the morning I was just sitting on the couch quietly like a boring prat while everyone else was having fun talking and joking with each other. Normally, when a party is winding down, I feel most at ease making jokes and all that, but for some reason I just felt outshined and anxious, and I could sense people's annoyance with me. By the time I'd decided to get up and leave, I was offered an awkward hug/goodbye from my friend who'd invited me (normally, our hello/goodbye hugs are quite enthusiastic).
I guess I should feel honoured that I was actually invited, but I get the feeling I probably won't be ever again. I was originally thinking of cutting contact with her to save myself the embarrassment, but I realize now that's probably a bit irrational.
F**k you social anxiety.