Falkor
1
I'm feeling really scared. I know I want to face this, i'm so nervous.
For most people it is just an easy thing, I have to eat with my girlfriends mom and her boyfriend, and of course my girlfriend.
Normally I just have dinner with her mom and just her, now it's with another person involved. I don't know why I'm so terrified, but last time I said to her mom I cannot do it, cuz I felt anxious to eat with them and she told me to just change myself and sit there and be like everyone else.
I feel a huge guilt coming up, her mom doesn't really know a lot about SA, so this is really affecting me, I feel really afraid that it will happen again.
So the boyfriend is almost arriving here, and I'm sitting in my gf's room and she's in the living room, she was supporting me a little just 30 min ago and she gave me a book she did read about social anxiety, the threatment.
I txted my mom like I'm so friggin nervous and stuff and she told me I could come home and I'm my own boss and I should make this decision, and that her mom should understand it, but I know that's hard.
She also adviced me to eat somewhere else, my girlfriend said well in a restaurant there are lots of people too, and that's true, still it is so much more pleasant to be there, since they never saw me anxious so much around them, I mean back then, her mom was so negative about my SA, that I feel terrified of this happening, thus yesterday I ate with her mom (my girlfriend had to go to work) but I don't feel afraid just eating with her mom (only 1 person, weird I know) but more people, it is the bomb of SA.
So, yeah I really want to share this and I would love to hear your opinion and thoughts about it, like what you would have done in this situation and what you think I should do for best, and all.
My girlfriend asked me to talk to her mom and explain how I feel, I know this is a very good way to get understanding, but I know this could mess things up also, like again her not understanding this part and I would feel even more afraid of eating, so first I will just face this scenario, I'm so stuck right now, like seriously, I have to do it now. So this is really a big thing for me, for other's it's just a simple thing, I wish I felt like this, argh.
I hope my mom isn't worried right now, I mean i txted her like it's gonna be OK, and i hope she believes, and I know this is freaking me out, but what could I do else?
I know the real thing is facing it, and that's my damn fear.
I also know at dinner, I have so many fears, just than dinner it is, like how I speak, how other's percieve me, I know if people would be all about acceptance and open-minded and don't judge me (just that I can feel that and they convince me) I would never even think about avoiding a dinner or anything, I know I feel most relaxed at people who are accepting to most of things and don't judge me, I always need to feel that people like me, the way I am, and I don't know if people here do, but I won't ask for their opinions, that would make me feel even more embarrassed, It's like asking a stranger on the street, Am I weird? of course they would think you're weird by doing that..
Argh. :/
So yeah, that's my topic.
For most people it is just an easy thing, I have to eat with my girlfriends mom and her boyfriend, and of course my girlfriend.
Normally I just have dinner with her mom and just her, now it's with another person involved. I don't know why I'm so terrified, but last time I said to her mom I cannot do it, cuz I felt anxious to eat with them and she told me to just change myself and sit there and be like everyone else.
I feel a huge guilt coming up, her mom doesn't really know a lot about SA, so this is really affecting me, I feel really afraid that it will happen again.
So the boyfriend is almost arriving here, and I'm sitting in my gf's room and she's in the living room, she was supporting me a little just 30 min ago and she gave me a book she did read about social anxiety, the threatment.
I txted my mom like I'm so friggin nervous and stuff and she told me I could come home and I'm my own boss and I should make this decision, and that her mom should understand it, but I know that's hard.
She also adviced me to eat somewhere else, my girlfriend said well in a restaurant there are lots of people too, and that's true, still it is so much more pleasant to be there, since they never saw me anxious so much around them, I mean back then, her mom was so negative about my SA, that I feel terrified of this happening, thus yesterday I ate with her mom (my girlfriend had to go to work) but I don't feel afraid just eating with her mom (only 1 person, weird I know) but more people, it is the bomb of SA.
So, yeah I really want to share this and I would love to hear your opinion and thoughts about it, like what you would have done in this situation and what you think I should do for best, and all.
My girlfriend asked me to talk to her mom and explain how I feel, I know this is a very good way to get understanding, but I know this could mess things up also, like again her not understanding this part and I would feel even more afraid of eating, so first I will just face this scenario, I'm so stuck right now, like seriously, I have to do it now. So this is really a big thing for me, for other's it's just a simple thing, I wish I felt like this, argh.
I hope my mom isn't worried right now, I mean i txted her like it's gonna be OK, and i hope she believes, and I know this is freaking me out, but what could I do else?
I know the real thing is facing it, and that's my damn fear.
I also know at dinner, I have so many fears, just than dinner it is, like how I speak, how other's percieve me, I know if people would be all about acceptance and open-minded and don't judge me (just that I can feel that and they convince me) I would never even think about avoiding a dinner or anything, I know I feel most relaxed at people who are accepting to most of things and don't judge me, I always need to feel that people like me, the way I am, and I don't know if people here do, but I won't ask for their opinions, that would make me feel even more embarrassed, It's like asking a stranger on the street, Am I weird? of course they would think you're weird by doing that..
Argh. :/
So yeah, that's my topic.
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