Really need some advice, please

#2
Yea, it would make me uncomfortable too. It's possible she's bi or lesbian but also maybe not.

I've known some women (I was never 'involved' with them) who were just very 'touchy feely' people. It's almost like they don't realize they are being that way and are possibly making others feel a bit awkward. At first I wondered at the possibility that they where hitting on me, but realized soon after that they weren't.

It did annoy me though. Unless your my gf/partner, I don't really want to be touched.

But saying 'I love you' 5 weeks in to a friendship is... from my perspective, weird.

If you want to make it clear to your friend that you aren't interested in women you could say it in an indirect way. During conversation you could mention a well known celebrity (you might have to 'steer' the conversation in that direction) who is lesbian/bi and then mention clearly that you could never be with a woman. That it's just not you.

I'm fairly certain that she would get your message.

How do you respond when she says 'I love you'?
 
#3
A lot of times when she says "I love you" I don't respond, but other times I just say "love ya too" just because I feel bad.
Yea there's a big difference in 'I love you' and 'love ya too'. In my books 'I love you' implies personal feelings of ..love. Like being in love. Or when it's said to an immediate family member.

'Love/Luv ya too' or 'Luv/love ya' is something said to friends, family sort of in passing, it doesn't really imply being in love.

I think to avoid any embarrassment for you & her and to avoid hurting her feelings, I'm going to stick with my original advice. Make your 'tastes' clear through indirect but clear means.

I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings either. Being direct would probably do just that. :)


Dr Pug signing off.. That'll be $149.99 for the advice. :)
 
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Mikazuki1590

Well-known member
#4
I'll echo what Pug said. A lot of people are very touchy feely types, especially a lot of females i've encountered, which is fine, as everyone's different, but on the flip side there are people who like their personal space.

For me, I like my personal space. Unless the girl touching me is a a girl I'm interested in sexually/romantically, then I'm probably not gonna want someone touching me unnecessarily. To me it definitely seems a bit soon for her to be doing stuff like that and I don't blame you for being uncomfortable.

I hope all goes well with your message to her! I'm sure if you explained it delicately she'll understand.
 

Sacrament

Well-known member
#5
I'm guessing she was quite lonely before you met her and just feels happy that you decided to be friends with her.

I'd say that instead of simply writing her off, you experiment with boundaries. Talk to her politely and calmly about the things that she does that make you feel uncomfortable, but that you'd still pretty much like to keep hanging out with her. If you do want that, that is. Also let her know that although you enjoy spending time with her, you also need breaks to be with other people, or with family, or just by yourself. Arrange for certain times for you two to meet up and hang out instead of letting her decide when to 'bother' you.
 
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