Rather be alone


Well-known member
I have come to realize that i rather be alone than deal with all the crap that relationships bring.

I don't know what women want, nor do i want to find out. I rather be alone.


Well-known member
I know what you mean--I've come to that conclusion on several occasions. However, it always turns out to be wrong.

I spent close to a year eschewing most human contact and it just screwed me up worse. I think my SP turning point began when i realized that I NEED other people, as much as I liked to think I didn't, and as much as I had a hard time dealing with them....

I got a fortune cookie the other day and just had to laugh at it, it is so true: "Frequent conversations will fill your heart with joy." With the right people, I should add...

One last thing: NO men know what women want!!! I sure as hell don't and I'm 31 and have been with a few... ;)


Well-known member
I get used to being alone it is nice in someways but like everything too much gets on top of you and you rather do anything but the same thing again and agian. Its not about being the perfect peson for me any more, i want human contact I want to experience things i haven't, that is having close friends to laugh crie whatever with. The difficult comes when you tell yourself nobody will like you and end up doing everthing you hoped whould never happen. Never say never take the plunge. No women no cry as Bob marley puts it. Be proud of yourself. Its not about having a girlfriend you should work on building the friendship.

It's so important to have relationships and friendships in your life. Unfortunately, sometimes it's easier to shy away and not go through the ordeal of getting to know people, but trust me, it is worth it, in the end if you don't try you'll never know what could have been and let's face it what have you got to lose, they can only say no and if that happens try and try again, there are a lot of nice people out there you just got to learn to love yourself, before other people can.

Go out there and give it a try



Active member
Yeah, sometimes it is easier to be alone....but it buggers up your mind eventually (I've found that anyway)...

Making contact with others IS HARD with SP, but really worth it I reckon. I hate to think how I would be now if I hadn't taken the effort to get out there and meet people.....very unhappy, or worse!

Don't worry too much about what women want - we are not all the same, but probably mostly want pretty much what you guys do from a relationship. If you feel a woman is 'really hard' to understand or is moody or judgemental, perhaps that isn't the right person for someone with SP. We are quick enough to think the worst, without someone being 'difficult' and pushing our buttons....

Cheers, Symbiosis


Well-known member
There are other choices so you're not alone, like finding friends. I prefer to find good friends than to find a coulple. Friendship lasts forever and love doesn't (sometime does).


Active member
Be square with yourself - this is a lie and no honest choice - and you know it - just try again and again ... what's the harm anyway?


New member
i was in your position a while ago, felt like being alone was the best option. but i found out that the more your alone the worse you get. i used to tell myself that i prefered being alone, but thats a lie.

luckily i have one or two good friends that i can rely on and have stuck by me (i wonder why somtimes) and started to go out more. i got my first girlfriend at 21! now i look back and remember that it seemed like the biggest thing in the world, i would never have a girlfriend and whats the poit of living. i worried so much about te first time and that i would make a mess of it.

well you know what, i did. it was almost as bad as i imagined. but you know what? WHO CARES!!! things can only get better. and they have done for me. i feel like im at a turning point in my life, time to start living instead of just waiting to die. sp afected my relationship and after a few months we split up (this week) , but rather than be upset im seeing it as the beggining of the rest of my life!

i was thinking about life, and what was the point of it. well theres one conclusion ive come up with and thats experiences. i realise that i have wasted my childhood and im never gonna get that back. i missed so much because i stayed in or was too scared, always sittin on the sidelines watching.

well now thats over. im gonna try my hardest and experience everything i can. i know its easy to say sat in my room all alone, but i have to try and remember it when i step outside but i know i can do it, now ive found out im not alone, im not a weirdo, that there is actually somthing wrong with me i can make steps to get my life on track. if i can do it so can you. ive been at the lowest point, not having one friend to rely on, feeling whats the point in carrying on, but that doesnt have to be it. i feel like im soaring at the moment, listening to uplifting music (paul van dyk- time of our lives) for instance, and reading through these message boards i have found.

please mate keep your chin up, i know how you feel, but it can get better, just take one step at a time.

i know im not cured, i have to keep reminding myself when i feel down and blue how good i can feel. i know its hard but im trying my best. even doing the tinyest little thing that you wouldnt normally do no matter what it is can help. you just have to focus on that good step and say my life is now that little bit better because i have done that. focus on the good things and the bad will fade away slowly. ive got a long way to go but i have also come along way and that is what i focus on from now.

your half way up a mountain, do you look up and see how far you have to go, all the hard work it will take to get there? or do you look down and see just how far youve made it so far, how all your hard work has paid off?

well its up to you, life is what you make it!

step by step, day by day life WILL get better, because I will make it get better. no more sitting around using excuses that i cant do things or blaming other people for the way things are, because its my life, its down to me to make it better.

ive made a concious effort to change the way i percieve things, i mean i could take being dumped by my g/f who i had really started to love as a bad thing, that i will never fid anyone like her again. to be honest six months ago i would have done and sunk into a pit of despair, but instead i have taken a step back and seen it for what it really is, an experience. it is a part of life, and that means im living my life!! i am looking onward and upward, maybe it will be a long time before i will find someone who can get past my shyness and get to know the real me, but maybe it will be today, who nows? but i can tell you one thing, it wont happen sitting here in my room thinking about things.

ive just realised how long this post is, i was only gonna make a quick reply, but just carried on typing. just finding people i can talk to without the fear of ridicule is a good type of therapy, i feel alot better now so thanks :D


Well-known member
John-- excellent post!! Almost as long as mine usually are ;) . Lots of good insights in there. I hope some of your good attitude will rub off on me! And Crashmodem too. All of us, actually.

Good luck!!!!!
I would also rather be alone. That goes for romance as well as friendship.

The root of the problem is people. People say you need them around, so you think you need them around. It's because they don't want to not be needed, who wants that?

Maybe if I can get passed that I can be happy.
Good post

Nice post John,

I know, like myself, it's very easy to fall back again in negative behaviour patterns. Your positive attitude will get you further in life.
For me it's just really hard. It's all about those gigantic stress feelings which I have when im around people. I can say to myself that I wont care about what other people think but nonetheless I still feel very not-relaxed. That feeling is so rotten. Often when im sitting at home and feel relaxed I think about others who dont have SP. Im thinking then: "So others feel this way when they around people, just relaxed". Then im just so frustrated that I dont feel that way when im around people. Well i'll hope for better days.

Take care,


Active member
Come on!!! There is always hope! NO ONE should be ALONE in this cruel world!

You know what? I have felt that feeling before..
I think that NO MAN knows what a WOMEN wants..
but you could always give it a go!
Just like the way u learn to ride a bike,
or the way u learn how to use the computer!!

I was as frustrated as u guys in trying to pick up girls..let alone land myself a date. Then I just thought to myself that I could just search the net and lerarn my way through.



These sites are free..and have no ads at ALL.
It will bring u some confidence. I am not kidding!!!
Crashmodem, one of the first things you have to realise is that the most important part of any relationship is friendship and that is usually the best place to start first.

I am a 36 year old female who hasnt had a boyfriend but the males I work with are slowly turning me off males with their attitudes. I am beginning to think they are born without brains and have got nothing better to do than gossip all the time. I dislike males more and more everyday because of my work colleagues.

Once you have found someone and you realise that you care about them (you need to get to know them first) then start to do things that mean alot to them, take them out to dinner, give flowers, go for a walk along the beach or just tell her how much you care about her. There are lots of small things that you can do.

In order to meet someone you have to make an effort to go out and meet people, you wont meet anyone by sitting at the computer all day, trust me I have learnt the hard way. You can't expect to meet a girl if you don't leave your comfort zone and make an effort.