Rant, But please do reply :)

[BlaiseBLATES]

Sorry just a rant here, But please reply if you want .
I'm so flipping well fed up with all the crap going on.
I can't cope with all this for much longer.
I've tried everything that i can to get over my agoraphobia.
But nothing helps!
I've even had self hypnosis disks on every night for the past 5 months!
And taken so many pills that make me feel SICK.
I just feel this could have all been avoided.
If I hadn't have locked myself in my room I wouldnt be in this mess.
And if the idiots at my doctors surgery would have listened to me...
Well I'd be enjoying my life wouldn't I?
I'm young yes, but when you go to the doctors saying;
'Yes, I locked myself in my room for weeks due to depression and now I can't stand going out as it makes my heart race at the thought'
It should kinda hit a braincell to go 'This girl needs help!'
Not the reaction I got of;
'Wait til you're back in school it'll all just dissappear
They're flaming imbosils!
What was I meant to do for the remaining 2 weeks of summer holiday?
And it was a problem even getting me into school by then...
I had to be driven into school,
Just to be bullied whenever I was seen...
And had to continuessly leave my lessons due to panic attacks.
I had teachers constantly saying I had made everything up.
And if I mis-behaved slightly in a lesson then they would use it against me!
"If you do not behave Blaise I will not allow you to leave when you next have a 'panic attack'"
Not exactly the most supportive thing to say is it?
I felt the world was against me before my agoraphobia,
It's the reason I went into depression in the first place.
And the idiots at my school didn't make it any better for me.
But my school musical made everything better for me.
I enjoyed myself and was accepted there for my talent
(not to be bigheaded but i'm quite the actress and singer =])
And now i've had to give that up, along with school.
All my mates seem to have just forgotten about me now.
I used to see them daily...but now im lucky if i get a weekly visit.
The only person who comes to see me is my boyfriend...
But he's starting to rush me into going out now, to save our relationship.
Eugh...I just don't know anymore...
Thanks if you did read all this, please message me or comment below

 

[Helyna]

"If you do not behave Blaise I will not allow you to leave when you next have a 'panic attack'"

8O
That smiley is what I looked like. I want to scream at your teachers now. Not to mention your doctors. Grrr.

 

[kayelle]

Wow, that's awful. I think you have a right to be really angry. Everyone you were around, people in school, your doctor, and ESPECIALLY your teachers made your panic infinitely worse by ignoring your problems.
I absolutely hate that doctors do that. You're meant to be a doctor! Make some effort to cure me please! I had a similar situation with my doctor. And I've given up university for now and my friends have forgotten about me too.

In my experience, it does get better though. Are you getting any therapy? I would be in no way any better without the therapy I have gotten over the past year, I really think you should get some if you aren't getting it now. From the things I've learned in therapy, it's helped me improve and further recover on my own.

 

[BlaiseBLATES]

Thanks for both of your replies.

In my experience, it does get better though. Are you getting any therapy? I would be in no way any better without the therapy I have gotten over the past year, I really think you should get some if you aren't getting it now. From the things I've learned in therapy, it's helped me improve and further recover on my own.

I do have therapynow,
Through a doctor who saw me have a panic attack whilst with her.
Shame it had to come to that to be realised...
But yes, It's helping a bit, and she always takes me out for a small walk.
Thanks again for the replies

 

[kayelle]

The same with me, when my doctor fobbed me off it took me ages to go back and then he sent me to an awful psychotherapist, so I was years anxious without getting any help, it got to a similar point with me completely unable to leave the house to get any help at all.

But we're on the right track, so chin up!
Good luck to you!