Random Rant

#1
Hi.
I just want to rant.
I have had SAD for a few years now.
I believe that it is now Agoraphobia because I can't leave my house without freaking out. I have tried to conquer my fear by gradually going further and further but, it doesn't help.
I am almost 20 and haven't left my house since I graduated.
I have lost all my friends because I can't go out to hang out with them.
I take medicine but it doesn't help because it's too weak. I lie to my pschychiatrist becuase I hatw medicine and don't like taking it because I took so much as a child. And now, my parents are fed up with my "freeloading" and are going to shut my phone off in a month if I don't get a job.
IDK what to do... I have tried medicine (which does not stop my panic attacks at all unless I take the highest dose), self therapy ( I get one step forward and three steps back), and tried (keyword: TRIED) to explain to my parents and others about it but, I can never explain it thoroughly. I don't even know my mental disease anymore... I feel so guilty for not doing anything and being dependent on my parents for everything....What to do????
 

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
#2
You're not freeloading. Your parents are just ignorant. I think you should apply for disability (hopefully you qualify). That will be a much needed source of income. Your county should be able to connect you with a social worker.
You also need some type of therapy to get beyond your agoraphobia-although, that will take time and a lot of hard work.

.....try to hang in there.
 

xSleepy

Well-known member
#3
I can relate a lot. I'm also agoraphobic and have been for years. I haven't had a "normal" job either for a long time. Only small cleaning jobs here and there. But it's not nearly enough for me to be independent.

I feel guilty too for being so dependent on others. Especially because I dislike the people who I'm dependent on. Which makes me feel bad too, I should be grateful. Which I guess I am, but I can't wait to get out of here someday and hopefully never come back.
 
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