Question

[lime]

Hello!

I have a rather unique problem, perhaps someone would be kind enough to give their thoughts.

The root of my anxiety is due to negative biased and warped images of myself when I'm around others.
When you are with others, I'm sure you must have a visual image in your mind of how you come across to them.

The pictures that go through my mind when I'm having a chat with someone.. or anything which involves people are flashes of me looking so uncomfortable and nervous - when rationally I know this is not the case.

I've done everything I can think of to correct this problem, I've tried relaxing/meditating and visualise more positive images in my mind.
I've filmed myself with a camera to prove to myself how I really look. I've tried using mirrors etc.

None of this really seems to work, so I thought maybe someone could come up with some suggestions.
Its really annoying, when you look at photos of me I look so calm, relaxed and happy. When I'm actually in the situation I'm often so socially anxious because of how I THINK I look.

Its a weird paradox.. hopefully this makes sense to someone and doesn't just come off as a crazy ramble..

 

[Jake123]

For some reason whenever I recall a memory of an event that's happened it's in third person lol... Does that happen to you?

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

Can you stop these thoughts in their tracks? You might want to try and acknowledge that you are beginning to feel anxious, maybe you should stop and think about what it is that is making you anxious. If you keep doing this on a conscious level, it will be a matter of time before it becomes second nature.

I've been training myself to do this and I find that it helps me. I've trained myself to think a certain way in the past to the point where I accepted it as the truth (and still do). I know this sounds like self-deception but it is not if you're realistic. I am aware that this may sound too simplistic but I just wanted to share what works with me in hopes that it might provide you with some relief.

You yourself cannot tell by looking at pictures and recordings of yourself that you were anxious. Even if you do appear anxious you're only human. Everyone has felt uncomfortable or anxious at some point in time. Would you hold it against someone if they were nervous or anxious around you? I'm going to give you credit and say that you would be forgiving. In all fairness, you should forgive yourself as you would them.

 

[danstelter]

Thought stopping/redirection is incredibly hard to do on its own, and another thing to remember is that what works for one person might not work for another.

What I would do if I were you is try to build your entire life around reducing anxiety. For example, go on regular exercise, avoid people/situations who want you to feel bad about your anxiety (but continue to challenge yourself on a regular basis), take a small dose of medication, talk to friends about your anxiety (talking helps reduce its effects a ton), talk to a counselor (very helpful for me), change your job if it harms your self-esteem....you get the picture. Analyze each and every last detail of what makes your anxiety better/worse and try to make everything around you geared to reduce your anxiety.

Give it time too-it might take several months before there's a noticeable difference, but I believe that this method will work for everyone...good luck and be sure to ask questions if needed!